The club ride situation shouldn't be that complicated. It seems to me that if it's at all organized the pace, goals and etc. should be known to all who show up for the ride. If the club leaders say that we're going to hammer today and if you get dropped, you get dropped then a new person knows what's up and can base participation decisions accordingly.

In the same vein if the people leading the ride have told everybody what's up they've got no business looking down on anyone who chooses to ride regardles of what they're sitting on. As they say when you buy a lottery ticket. "You never know...."