Maybe you're getting that impression because you're being an idiot. We've given you plenty of legitimate functions a cycling cap can fill. It keeps sweat out of your eyes, it keeps the sun out of your eyes, you can flip it up to get the brim out of the way (useful if you're in the drops and want to be able to see in front of you but don't want to bend your neck 90 degrees), and they can be used as a rag in a pinch. What do we get in return? "Yeah, whatever, but isn't it still pretty much just like a [insert some dumbass picture you found on a party supply website]?

You started off with this ridiculous assumption that there is no functional reason to wear a cycling cap, and despite all evidence to the contrary, you're clutching this stupid notion of yours like you just gave birth to the damn thing. Is it really that hard to admit when you're wrong about something?

You don't want to wear them? Fine, I honestly couldn't care less. You want to be an idiot about it? Fine, what's one more?