Steve, I can't give advice from personal experience, but I have helped a lot of people cope better in my profession. It sounds like you're already on the right track as you've made some attitude adjustments and shown an ability to be adaptive. It also sounds like you're intelligent, which can be an important asset in difficult times.

Try to discuss important decisions with a trusted friend or relative, although using an Internet forum as a resource is also a good idea, IMO. Try not to make decisions out of a feeling of desperation or frustration. Remember that even unpleasant choice are made with a positive goal in mind.

I think you should include your children in your efforts as much as possible. Older children can babysit or do odd jobs for neighbors to help pay for their clothes and toys. Children can also take responsibility for their own carfree transportation in many cases. (Most communities have programs that provide free or cheap bicycles for children.) And I'm sure that the older children already do a lot when it comes to watching the younger ones. When they're older, your children will feel proud and happy if they know that they helped their family get through a difficult time.