I was on a Critical mass Ride and was shouting "God damn the man!" while riding my tallbike when sixteen Republican policemen in a Hummer ran me down. The worst part is that they let me die, then revived me and now run me over and kill me the last Friday of every month. The rest of the time, I am recuperating from being killed, with my eyelids wedged open a la Clockwork Orange so that I cannot stop watching the 700 Club.

Also, they hate women and puppies. And cyclists.