The only answer I have is that you just deal with whatever comes along.
I like fatter tires for cushioning the bumps in the road. When I wear out the tires on my bent, I'm going to get the fattest thing those rims will hold. I don't care about it slowing me down a little. It's not like I'm racing Lance Armstrong or anything.
Sidewalk riding is illegal in most places, but it seems to be accepted in my area. I will ride sidewalks if the road seems too crazy for me. (I live very close to the intersection of 2 major highways which happen to have sidewalks.) I prefer to ride the road because it is generally smoother and faster, but I'm willing to take the sidewalk if it serves me well.
As for the choice between potholes and traffic, it all depends on the size of the potholes and the speed of traffic. You can slow down on the side and let traffic pass before taking the middle of the road. You can slow down and take the potholes. You can take the sidewalk in a bumpy area while knowing that you risk being ticketed. You have to decide what feels safe and good for you.
I'm happy for you beginning the commuter life. I hope you stay in it. Bicycle commuting is one of the best decisions I've ever made.