Next time, get the plates and don't escalate by smacking the car or yelling. It might be emotionally satisfying, but as you can plainly see, it gives the other person an excuse to take things to the next level.

It's pretty typical for cars of all sorts to ignore bike lanes, that's just life in the big city. Either look for a less congested route, or just exercise a little more caution. Unfortunately, the only real fix IMO is to get more cyclists on the road, as that will essentially force drivers to be more cognizant of the need to share the road.

I don't see how pepper spray will help much, by the way. I've lived in the NYC area for a long time, and in some nasty neighborhoods in other cities, and have always gotten along just fine without a weapon.