A road bike is laterally stiff, vertically compliant and has a beefy bottom bracket with either Red, Record or Duracé hung off of it. Anything else is just recreational and certainly can't be used for competitive events like centuries or coffee rides.

Unfortunately the majority of my bikes fall in the latter category which means I'm probably a fred or stoner, depending on if I'm on my titanium bicycle or my mountain bike, née all terrain bicycle.