I'm only about 10 pounds lighter than you and have been riding 36 spoke wheels for over 25 years. You shouldn't be having such problems on a quality built wheel after only 10 rides, if they aren't that long a ride. What wheel components are you currently using? Rim, hub, spoke size, pattern, etc.? Who was it from? Or, who built it? There's no reason why a well built and maintain 36 spoke wheel shouldn't work really well for you. Talk to the builder or manufacturer of the wheel. Hopefully, they will treat you well and help get this sorted. Delaware isn't the dark side of the moon, so, surely there's a reputable wheelsmith somewhere in the area. A lot of us have had very good luck using Shimano Ultegra hubs laced, 3 cross with 36, 14 ga. spokes to any number of qulity rims(popular choices being Mavic Open Pro CD's or Velocity Deep V's). Properly built, stress relieved and retensioned after breaking in, they should last a long time for someone your size and weight.

If you decide to go the tandem equiment route. You have a much better chance of finding 40 spoke components, then 42 or 48.

Best of luck in finding a workable solution. But, really, find a good wheelsmith in your area or learn to do it yourself. There's no excuse why quality 36 spoke wheels shouldn't work for you.