It took me two attempts to become a regular commuter. The first time around I felt just like you. Especially since one part of my ride was a narrow road with speeding traffic and an adjacent freeway. So many fumes, so much noise. I hated it. And then right after that part was a scary hill.

Then they tore up the street and re-routed the traffic onto a really nice residential street. I had no idea I could have been going that way all along. It's delightful, quiet, shaded with old oaks. I should have looked at a map and found that street on my own. Sure it's a tiny bit extra distance, but worth every bit.

The big scary hill is still there, but it's such a tiny portion of my ride. I've accepted it even though it's hardly any less scary.

I could have just given up completely, but I got a crazy person for a boss and had to find some way to live through it. I can't tell you what a huge difference the commuting makes.

One last suggestion, not sure if I read you right, but you said you saw a guy riding a windshield bent. Did you mean a recumbent with a fairing? Getting a recumbent was the other big key to making the ride pleasurable for me. You are much less unhappy when you have no discomfort, and riding a bike is new all over again.