Note: I only read page 1.

I'm inclined to trust Rad on this one, he is the voice of experience on the issue at hand here (at least compared to me). Also, you have the same problem my girlfriend does. She's riding hard to keep up, and as a result doesn't have the spare breath to talk. I'm riding slowly so that I don't drop her, and I'm talking so that I don't get bored at the crawling pace. Our solution: Buy a used tandem. In the mean time however, I suggest that you 1) Learn to talk to him 2) Consider riding separately sometimes and 3) Ask the mods to let you into the womens' forum as this is probably a more common issue there. Also, although you've probably figured it out, the stereotype that roadies are insult slinging snobs is somewhat true, and you should have a thick skin in here.