Originally Posted by Expatriate

The full story is too long to tell here, but I'll tell it anyway. I had a neighbor in the states (u has been deleted, this is an American tale) who was the ultra-w@nker with his 1980's Magnum PI Ferrari. He bought what he thought was an expensive mountain bike, and invited himself to go on a ride with me. Hey, I knew those tracks a lot better. Anyhoo, he shows up in denim shorts with a nice brown leather belt. Real comfy riding gear. So we're 10 minutes into the ride, and I point out where I saw my first rattlesnake on this particular trail. This unnerved him a bit, much to my glee. (So I'm an a-hole!) We stopped for a drink in a big clearing, and he starts in with the whole "Something's not right on my bike, I better go home and fix it" spiel. I carry everything but a portable TIG, so I fixed his squeaky seat, much to his chagrin. ( I hardly ever get to use that word). We ride 2 more minutes up the trail, and there's a coyote about the size of a cattle dog, right there in the middle of the trail. Now, I know they're cowards, and won't even attack another dog unless they're in a pack, so I'm not the least bit worried. I made eye contact and kept pedalling towards it, which you wouldn't do with a dog. Knowing their nature, I had nothing to worry about. Mr. dot.com (who didn't know he was only months away from being worth nothing on paper ) just about pissed himself. It was hilarious. I nearly pissed myself laughing. This animal was about as benign as a rabbit, and he took off like it was going to shoot bees out of it's mouth. I am so mean.