It happens, man. Even good shops can have bad customer service sometimes (not saying performance is a good shop, though...) You should definitely expect to get your money back for all of this and to be reimbursed for shipping. I would be surprised if they didn't meet those requests. Order from another shop next time. I have had good experiences w/ Jenson, AEBike, and Nashbar.

The Performance store in Austin is great. I am good friends w/ a mechanic who works there and get all my work done for free. Since they aren't an LBS, they are less likely to up-charge everything.