Fair warning my fellow New South Welshmen: the Melbournites are deploying their mighty weapon of wrath.

Through cunning and guile they have manipulated things so that we receive endless days of gloomy Melbourne weather to mar the start of the road season. Open your brollies and fight this scourge, for over the winter we have much work to do. We must plan our attack carefully and send relentless northerly winds their way to spoil their latte rides along Beach Rd next summer. Be strong, our time of glory will come...