I have teamates that I only see at races. It's not a big deal, and I'll work with/for them as appropriate (assuming there is anything useful that I can do).

One thing that helps "sell" racing to your wife is making sure that you support her the same way you're asking support from her. Take the kids and let her go off and do stuff that she wants to do. We don't have kids but I go with my wife to her 'A' running races, to calm her down before the start and meet her with whatever she needs at the finish. It's not quite equal to her doing support for a whole team on a two-day stage race in the middle of nowhere on our anniversary, but at least its shows that I'm making an effort to reciprocate.