Urban Cyclists Against Stopping
05-22-24, 03:29 PM
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Urban Cyclists Against Stopping
Interview with the Head of U.C.A.S. (Urban Cyclists Against Stopping)
Extract:
See article for full interview. Sure to get some lycra all bunched up.
Extract:
Let’s begin with an explanation of who you are.
Sure thing. I’m the head of an organization called Urban Cyclists Against Stopping, or U.C.A.S. We maintain that it is the unalienable right of every New York City cyclist, in the course of riding from point A to point B, not to stop.
But what if you’re up against a red light? Will you stop?
No.
What if a pedestrian has the right of way? Will you stop?
No.
What if a small child, clutching her caregiver’s hand, is directly in your path? Will you stop?
No.
What if a leashed dog is stepping off the curb slightly ahead of its owner as the “Don’t Walk” signal flashes? Will you stop?
No.
That could take a toe off the dog!
Dogs have an unnecessary outer toe on each foot. It’s known as a dewclaw. It’s vestigial. Rover won’t miss it.
What if you’re pedaling northbound, and just as your traffic signal is turning from red to green an eastbound elderly woman pushing a wire shopping cart hasn’t quite made it to the sidewalk? Will you stop?
No.
You won’t cut her any slack?
No. If I hit her, that’s on her. You chose to shop while old, lady. I’m a cyclist. I can’t stop.
Sure thing. I’m the head of an organization called Urban Cyclists Against Stopping, or U.C.A.S. We maintain that it is the unalienable right of every New York City cyclist, in the course of riding from point A to point B, not to stop.
But what if you’re up against a red light? Will you stop?
No.
What if a pedestrian has the right of way? Will you stop?
No.
What if a small child, clutching her caregiver’s hand, is directly in your path? Will you stop?
No.
What if a leashed dog is stepping off the curb slightly ahead of its owner as the “Don’t Walk” signal flashes? Will you stop?
No.
That could take a toe off the dog!
Dogs have an unnecessary outer toe on each foot. It’s known as a dewclaw. It’s vestigial. Rover won’t miss it.
What if you’re pedaling northbound, and just as your traffic signal is turning from red to green an eastbound elderly woman pushing a wire shopping cart hasn’t quite made it to the sidewalk? Will you stop?
No.
You won’t cut her any slack?
No. If I hit her, that’s on her. You chose to shop while old, lady. I’m a cyclist. I can’t stop.
05-22-24, 03:49 PM
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Interview with the Head of U.C.A.S. (Urban Cyclists Against Stopping)
Extract:
See article for full interview. Sure to get some Lycra all bunched up.
Extract:
See article for full interview. Sure to get some Lycra all bunched up.
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05-22-24, 03:56 PM
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05-22-24, 04:46 PM
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My Lycra remains un-bunched. Sorry. 
05-22-24, 05:02 PM
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The first issues of the New Yorker, which was pitched to potential advertisers as a surefire vehicle for capturing the attention of Manhattan sophisticates, contained embarrassingly juvenile humor. I believe their major competitor was Judge, where future New Yorker contributor S.J. Perelman was a cartoonist and sometime writer. (Typical Perelman cartoon caption: "I have Bright's disease and he has mine!")
05-22-24, 07:29 PM
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I will definitely avoid the old lady with the wire shopping basket for the same reason motorists don't run me over when I'm "in their way". It will further delay my progress waiting for the police. And I'm likely to get injured as well.
05-22-24, 08:54 PM
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That was laid on so thick in the o.p. that I am insulted to see it posted here as potential rage bait. Actually insulted. Are things that slow around here?
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05-23-24, 06:27 AM
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The first issues of the New Yorker, which was pitched to potential advertisers as a surefire vehicle for capturing the attention of Manhattan sophisticates, contained embarrassingly juvenile humor. I believe their major competitor was Judge, where future New Yorker contributor S.J. Perelman was a cartoonist and sometime writer. (Typical Perelman cartoon caption: "I have Bright's disease and he has mine!")
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05-23-24, 07:17 AM
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cant bunch if commando
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05-23-24, 07:26 AM
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Decades ago, before the Simpsons hit the airwaves, Matt Groening was a cartoonist whose work appeared in free alternative papers around the country. My then-girlfriend noticed a bookcase drawn in the background in one of his pieces (not his "The Angriest Dog in the World" series; the other one) in the Baltimore City Paper and remarked, "Hey, looks like he has all the same books as you."
Those would have included Perelman, Thurber, Woodhouse, Stephen Potter ("The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship"), etc.
And Ring Lardner, of course. Criminally all but forgotten.
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05-23-24, 07:37 AM
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If you don't already own it, look for the posthumously published "That Old Gang O' Mine," a collection of his work from before his New Yorker days. In addition to his writing, it includes many of his cartoons and illustrations.
Decades ago, before the Simpsons hit the airwaves, Matt Groening was a cartoonist whose work appeared in free alternative papers around the country. My then-girlfriend noticed a bookcase drawn in the background in one of his pieces (not his "The Angriest Dog in the World" series; the other one) in the Baltimore City Paper and remarked, "Hey, looks like he has all the same books as you."
Those would have included Perelman, Thurber, Woodhouse, Stephen Potter ("The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship"), etc.
And Ring Lardner, of course. Criminally all but forgotten.
Decades ago, before the Simpsons hit the airwaves, Matt Groening was a cartoonist whose work appeared in free alternative papers around the country. My then-girlfriend noticed a bookcase drawn in the background in one of his pieces (not his "The Angriest Dog in the World" series; the other one) in the Baltimore City Paper and remarked, "Hey, looks like he has all the same books as you."
Those would have included Perelman, Thurber, Woodhouse, Stephen Potter ("The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship"), etc.
And Ring Lardner, of course. Criminally all but forgotten.
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05-23-24, 08:36 AM
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Well there is always this viewpoint too..... Study: 90% Of Bike Accidents Preventable By Buying Car Like A Normal Person
05-23-24, 11:38 AM
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The important thing to do is while you are running into the old lady you swing your spiked mace at her while shouting obscenities.
Seriously folks Foo goes in FOO!
Seriously folks Foo goes in FOO!
05-23-24, 11:39 AM
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05-23-24, 01:16 PM
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This site is exclusively for Wailing and Gnashing of teeth over:
Smartphones
Drivers of pickup trucks
Operators of any other motorized vehicle in the vicinity of a bicyclist
Mean ole' LEOs
Ignorant civil servants and public planners
Bicyclists not as "Serious" as they should be about Cycling "Safety," "Advocacy" and/or "Etiquette" as defined by "experienced" A&S Posters.
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05-23-24, 04:09 PM
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Never got past "unalienable."
05-23-24, 04:10 PM
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The beauty of good satire is that is shows reality without preaching. That's it's close to believable is icing on the cake.
It's plausible because the reality is because we've all met cyclists who act entitled, along with a bit of a sense of moral superiority. Unfortunately, the bigger truth is that this kind of attitude is becoming more prevalent throughout society.
It's plausible because the reality is because we've all met cyclists who act entitled, along with a bit of a sense of moral superiority. Unfortunately, the bigger truth is that this kind of attitude is becoming more prevalent throughout society.
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WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.
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An ounce of diagnosis is worth a pound of cure.
Just because I'm tired of arguing, doesn't mean you're right.
“One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions” - Adm Grace Murray Hopper - USN
WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.
05-24-24, 04:12 AM
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05-24-24, 04:14 AM
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Just under the wire of the unofficial start of summer.
Go ride!
Go ride!
05-24-24, 06:51 AM
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In the bike-lane-free 1990s, I used to ride through New York City as if my life depended on it. But with all the bike lanes these days, and my more "mature" perspective, I'm much more measured.
That said, I'll stop riding through red lights with clear intersections when New Yorkers and doe-eyed tourists start obeying the "Don't Walk" signs.
That said, I'll stop riding through red lights with clear intersections when New Yorkers and doe-eyed tourists start obeying the "Don't Walk" signs.
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05-24-24, 11:43 AM
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I suspect New Yorkers see the humor in the article, but it might not resonate with others.
05-24-24, 03:01 PM
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Are you implying that New Yorkers are the only ones with a sense of humor, or able to appreciate a good ribbing?
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An ounce of diagnosis is worth a pound of cure.
Just because I'm tired of arguing, doesn't mean you're right.
“One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions” - Adm Grace Murray Hopper - USN
WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.
FB
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An ounce of diagnosis is worth a pound of cure.
Just because I'm tired of arguing, doesn't mean you're right.
“One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions” - Adm Grace Murray Hopper - USN
WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.
05-24-24, 03:28 PM
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Satire is generally only funny if you're familiar with the subject or behavior that is being satirized which, in this case, is the attitude of New York cyclists.