Inspired by the great "Things That Everyone Loves That You Hate" thread, I thought of a couple of parts that I really, really hated, but I couldn't put them on my list since everybody hated them. Qualifying parts should be of bike-shop quality and utterly worthless. The more financially painful the purchase, and the more you loathed them, the better.

To start things off, here's three that I utterly despised:

1) SR Sampson clipless pedals.



They had a really cool feature, which was that when you unclipped, a little bit of drag was applied to the spindle, so the pedal wouldn't turn and you could step straight down to clip in. When the pedal got dirty, the spindles wouldn't turn. Also, the back of the cleat wrapped around the rear of the pedal, so it was like an inch tall. Walking on them was like trying to walk on sideways ice skates. They totally, irredeemably, sucked. And buying them cost me a mint, considering that I was a 15-year-old Junior who washed dishes at the pizza parlor for $3.35 an hour.

2) Profile For Speed "triangle" Aerobars.




I have nothing to say, other than: however much you think these suck, they suck way more than that.

3) 1993 Trek 9000



Behold, the worst high-end bike ever made. The apotheosis of good bikes that suck. And, Gods below, did this bike suck.

Bonded Easton aluminum frame (good.) LX / XT parts mix (good.) Matrix rims on LX hubs (good.)

Adjustable air fork (sucked.) Shock pumps weren't a thing you could buy in 1993, so if you tried to actually adjust your fork, it was super-easy to blow it up. But there was no reason to bother, because there was no adjustment that would make it suck less. Plus, the air dampers leaked, so you were always riding on the elastomers anyway. Also, it was heavy as hell.

Untriangulated swingarm (totally sucked.) The only thing holding the back end of the swingarm together is the rear quick release skewer. You'd think this thing would break skewers like spaghetti. You'd be wrong. I never broke one, and neither did my buddy who used his as his car for like 12 years. The reason that they don't break skewers is that, under side loads, the swingarm blades move in opposite directions and the wheel leans with the impact. So, when you go to make a tight, bumpy turn at single-track speed, the front wheel leans one way, the rear wheel leans the other way, and the bike goes straight.

T4C Rear suspension (titanically sucked.) The rear end uses an elastomer shock with no rebound damping. In a suspension with a 4:1 leverage ratio. We named them "The Pogo Stick," and no bike was ever better named. If you hit a good-sized bump at speed and unweighted the saddle, when the rear wheel rolled over the top of the bump, the 4-times-muliplied rebound force would fire you over the long-ass stem and the whole bike would pivot on it's front hub and turn into a unicycle.

I bought mine on close-out at a shop that had just been sold. I think i paid $750 bucks for it, as a 20 year old community college student.
I hated it so much that when it was stolen out of my backyard in 2001, I was more pissed that they'd jumped the fence that that they'd stolen the bike.

Share your Sagas of Suckage. The more hated, the better.

--Shannon

^^^^^^^ We recently had one of these in our shop for service. Heavy and the elastomer shock was end of life. The top bearing or bushing or something was gone so the shock rattled around on it's mounting bolt. Rear end very loose. So I never rode it. I heard they found a Fox shock that went in there with much cursing, banging and general disgust. The owner seemed to be happy but the butchers bill was over $500. And it's still an early 90's spray bombed erector set.

I cannot argue with your disdain for the bike. I have a term for the grunt needed to get some of these lead heavy bikes up into the work stand: The Mongoose Moan. It's the pained grunt, the aaaaaaaaaaaw sheeeeeee............t moan needed to one armed lift BSO dual suspension mountain bikes from big box stores and for old Trek 9000's.

Out of all the early clipless pedals, the one I hated the most were Camapgnolo SGR. Heavy, ugly, proprietary cleats and typical Campagnolo pricing.

Campagnolo SGR pedals and Campagnolo Delta brakes.

I had one of those purple Trek 9000s. It was a trade in at our shop and the fork was shot. It was two sizes too big for me and I think I bought it for $80.00. I replaced the fork with a cheap coil spring model from a comfort bike and added a rise stem and bars. It was terrible off road but the big bouncy thing was lot of fun on the streets. Boing boing boing!

I ended up dumping it at a swap meet for cheap to a guy that wanted to part it out.

One of the local shops has a Trek 9000 for sale. The description is basically "this bike sucks $1000"

OK it's actually "Own one of the most infamous mountain bikes ever made!" but you know what they mean

I've always wanted to try the SGRs, to see if they suck to use as much as looking at them indicates.

Anybody ever try Aerolites?

--Shannon

I've had two bikes, that for me, were completely dead feeling. But others seem to like:
1981 (IIRC) Schwinn Voyageur 11.8 - all chrome. Pretty to look at, but not to ride.
1986 Raleigh Technium 440. Don't think I'll ever be tempted by another alum/steel mixed frame.

Both those left the stable quickly.