So it sounds like some of you folks are coming to Portland for the North American Handmade Bicycle Show. Good idea. There's way too much going on for just the population of Portland, so we're going to need some help with all these frickin' events!

Here are my top three picks:

**Friday**
MIDNIGHT MYSTERY RIDE (MMR)
What're you doing at midnight? If you want to get yer ass outside and drink with some locals around a fire...the Midnight Mystery Ride is for you. When Critical Mass got lame in Portland, the Midnight Mystery Ride kinda took its place minus the self-righteous bull and plus fire and beer. Riders gather around 11:30 at a local bar, hang out, and then at midnight a leader emerges to take everyone to a nearby, outdoor, covert, graffiti-ridden, semi-legal location. People hang out, pass drinks and treats around, and sometimes start fires, fights, and fandangos. It's fun. It's laid-back. It's free. This month's start location is NOT near the convention center, but it's an easy ride. I'll be leading people to the start location from the Red Lion Inn Bar at 11pm so no excuses! This month's ride is the MMR's 4th anniversary and is also a benefit. Don't worry about that. Just come and have fun. Dress warm. Bring a friend. https://www.yeabikes.net/midnight/ridingforleo.html

Good Neighbor Pizza, NE 8th and Dekum, 11ish
or
NAHBS party, Red Lion Inn, leaving at 11pm



**Saturday**
SLAP DASH ALLEYCAT
This alleycat is a sloppy gumbo of framebuilding and street racing...and you're welcome to take either one as seriously or not-seriously as you want. Be prepared to read a map, use a hacksaw, cross bridges, and make the crappiest welds of your life. Checkpoints will be in basements and warehouses where local builders, including some freakbike builders, do their thing. Prizes for fastest and most creative. For those of you familiar with bikeportland.org, the start/finish location is where the bikeportland.org benefit party is going on.

Plan B, 1305 SE 8th St (not too far from the Convention Center)
register at 7pm, ride at 8pm
$5 to ride


**Sunday**
ZOOBOMB
Where to start...Zoobomb is...an addictive mixture of 16" children's bicycles, Joose (9.9%), mass-transit, and gravity. Every Sunday night since 2002, Portland bicyclists have taken our light rail "MAX" trains up to the Zoo in Washington Park and then bombed down the city's West Hills through twisty neighborhood streets. It just might be the most fun you've ever had in your life...and if it isn't, you'll certainly have a story to tell. Contrary to popular belief, nobody has ever died, you don't have to go fast or drink, we encourage lights and helmets, and nobody will bat an eye if you show up on a "big bike" (over 16" average wheel diameter). Zoobomb has a website (https://www.zoobomb.net) but the wikipedia entry explains things with more clarity (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoobomb).

Meet at the Washington Park MAX stop (Get on any Red or Blue line train headed West), the 2nd most subterranean train station in the world (damn you Russians!) between 9pm and 10pm, at the TOP of the elevator. Dress warm. Bring helmets, lights, refreshments, and MAX fare ($1.75).






And if this isn't enough...here's a roster of stuff guaranteed to fill up yer calendars:

Thursday:
-IF preview at Veloce Cycles (https://www.velocebicycles.com)
-"Teams of Portland" gallery opening at Wieden+Kennedy (https://teamsofportland.com)
- Roleur Magazine at Rapha Gallery (https://www.rapha.cc/index.php?page=388)

Friday:
Vanilla Party for builders (talk to Sacha)
Qualifying rounds for Rapha Roller Races (https://www.rapha.cc/index.php?page=388)
Ride to Midnight Mystery Ride from Red Lion bar 11pm
Midnight Mystery Ride (https://www.yeabikes.net/midnight/ridingforleo.html)

Saturday:
Zoobomb tailgate party at NAHBS (https://zoobomb.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10499)
bikeportland.org benefit party (https://www.bikeportland.org)
Bikeforums meetup (https://bikeforums.net/showthread.php...=meetup&page=3)
Slap Dash Alleycat at Plan B (https://bikeportland.org/2008/02/04/n...eyond-the-show)

Sunday:
Worst Day of the Year Ride (https://worstdayride.com)
Zoobomb! (https://www.zoobomb.net)

umbrella shopping!