gaucho777 

Forgive me for resurrecting this old thread . . . As a teenager, I once turned a beaten-up Vitus 979 into a cyclo-cross bike. I even pinched the chainstays enough to accommodate some knobby tires. (The frame had been retired after a wreck with a car, so it was not getting any use at the time.) You think those frames were flexible on the road, you should have seen it on the single-tracks! Maybe not the dumbest bike-related thing I've done, but I certainly would not recommend doing it again.

jtgotsjets

At least that one has historical precedent.

https://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31349718 Quote from Mr Hofmann, regarding the bike ride home:
"Here the notes in my laboratory journal cease. I was able to write the last words only with great effort. By now it was already clear to me that LSD had been the cause of the remarkable experience of the previous Friday, for the altered perceptions were of the same type as before, only much more intense. I had to strug*gle to speak intelligibly. I asked my laboratory assistant, who was informed of the self-experiment, to es*cort me home. We went by bicycle, no automobile being available because of wartime restrictions on their use. On the way home, my condition began to assume threatening forms. Everything in my field of vision wavered and was distorted as if seen in a curved mirror. I also had the sensation of being unable to move from the spot. Nevertheless, my assistant later told me that we had traveled very rapidly. Finally, we arrived at home safe and sound, and I was just barely capable of asking my companion to summon our fam*ily doctor and request milk from the neighbors."

ftwelder

My book rack started coming loose on the way home from school about '72 or so I figured the smart thing to do was unbolt it the rest of the way and hang it on my handlebar. Right up the point it swung into the front wheel and caused it to collapse.

khatfull

Just after starting in clipless pedals two years ago...

Pulled up in a buddy's driveway about 7:00a to go out on a ride, just came to a stop, and fell over. Completely zoned about pulling feet out of pedals, trying to get feet to the ground. Nothing. Just teetered over where my brakes brought me to a stop. First and only clipless fall.

gtownviking

When I was younger, the trendy trick was to ride then stick your foot on the front tire right behind the forks (on a BMX style bike) this of course was going to raise the rear tire up in the air. The point being to balance there for as long as possible. I was too chicken to ride really fast so I never go the rear wheel more than a few inches off the ground. UNtil my brothers started taunting me. I got mad, rode super fast and just planted my foot on the tire. Talk about going from one extreme to the other....Next thing I know, I am looking up at my brothers who are wide and eyed and white as a bed sheet. I felt really funny.

Only my face was hurt. Apparently, according to my brothers, I went over the bars so fast that I didn't even take my hands off the bars to brace the fall.

dedhed

Back in the 80's and 20 something we did a group camping trip to Peninsula St Park in Door County. I brought my Grand Prix up in the Travelall - didn't need to take it apart. I must have knocked the QR somewhere along the line. Late at night we decided to ride to the tower. I was trying to impress a girl and pop a wheelie - Tire fell out, me clipped in, instant face plant. Broke my glasses, concussion, missed my teeth though. Yes, alcohol was involved. Must have impressed her enough then, not so much now - she's my ex-wife. Still have the bike though.

FZ1Tom

I've been heaving with laughter at some of the stories here....

Only a few dumb ones for me. My 2 bikes for most of my misspent youth were a yellow Continental and a blue Varsity, both otherwise identical as far as I remember. For all I know it might have been the other way round.

Climbed Mt. Magazine, the highest point in Arkansas, from the north side on the Connie while in high school. Not dumb, just painful.When younger...definitely dumb was when I jumped said bike off a dirt pile into another dirt pile about 10' away. The impact was breathtaking. Another incident - not paying attention at speed and rear-ending my little brother. Nothing to it, looked away, then plowed right into him @ 30mph. Got a nice little scar on the chin.

Probably the biggest mistake I made was when I was about 13 or so - i snuck out of the farm house one night and rode into town about a mile away. Typical kid sneaking out. But what's to do in a town of 1,900 people at 2 in the morning? Not a thing! So I headed for home.....riding against traffic. About 1/2 mile up the road I need to get over to the other side so I can turn right, and that's just what I did - didn't bother to look or anything. No sooner than I cross the centerline I hear a REALLY loud horn, look over to see a speeding 18-wheeler almost right on top of me. I didn't think or anything - just stood up and mashed the Varsity's crank as hard as I could. The truck driver had the presence of mind to bear off to the left while I made it right. Missed my back wheel by maybe a foot at the most, in hindsight he (and I) was lucky the trailer didn't jackknife.

It's a sobering thought to think how my grandparents would have taken the news. Fortunately I made it home and spoke to no one of it, pretty much until now.

Tom

Caplij

In 1971 while in the Army and assigned in Germany, my wife and I went and took a tour of the Peugot bike factory. While there I bought a bike that was custom made for someone and they never picked it up. I got it for $45 total. It was an awesome bike for the time even had latchable trap pedals. I was riding it through downtown Heidelberg one day and tried to cross the street car tracks while parrallel to them. The wheels of course dropped right down into the groove and as I slowed carefully to a stop to dismount the bike, I forgot to "unlatch" the traps on my shoes. It would have made a great Utube video if someone could have filmed me slowing falling over to the side with the wheels still in the groove and me still attached to my bike. The rims were ruined, my shoulder was bruised and my pride, well I'll bet there are still Germans telling stories about that stupid American with the bike attached to his feet lying on his back in the middle of the road....

John

remotelocal

great reading. i was thinking i'd never done anything stupid, but then i remembered pretty much my entire childhood. i think one of my best moments would have been biking to school one morning, myself and 3 or 4 buddies would always meet up along the way and ride our BMX's to school together. there was often a detour through a park that had these massive open drain/ditches cut in along the road side that used to be awesome for ripping through, and that would usually be followed by turning up a little bit late and getting into trouble. one day two of us decided to swap bikes, and moments later i crashed into the back wheel of a mate's bike, unable to stop in time. simple reason, my bike had a coaster back brake, and my mate's bike had hand brakes. i didn't even have my fingers on the levers. just stomped the pedal back, spun the cranks, slammed a pedal into my shin, hit the other bike and dropped hard. pretty much bit the concrete and just about put a front tooth through my lip. shattered a tooth that still gives me grief to this day.

aside from that, i went out for my usual sat morning ride... without a spare tube and equipment. it hosed with rain. then i got a flat. put a cleat down on the edge of the gutter and slipped. arsed onto the ground. nothing hurt apart from my pride. grabbed my bike by the stem in anger, catch my thumb on the freshly cut plastic loop holding my headlight on, blood starts pouring out (an inordinate amount given the weapon!) onto my white bar tape. manage to stem that, riding partner is miles away as i tend to outrun him and meet up at various points. phone a cab, get picked up and halfway back to the car when i realise i don't have my wallet on me. get dropped off at a cafe near my work as i know the people and borrow cash to pay for the taxi. then drive home, and back again to pay them back.

That was a dumb morning.

robtown

A perfect thread to resurrect!

#1 I stopped at a red traffic light but the detector would not trigger. It was my new bike, much taller than the old one. Knowing the trigger was a pressure plate I dismounted as hard as I could flat footed. I'm not sure if the light changed, I didn't go anywhere for a few minutes.

#2 It was 1969 and I desperately wanted a real 10 speed ( I had a great Raleigh Rodeo banana seat bike). I traded briefly with a German boy (I was in Germany) and started riding up the hill. The bike was much too tall and when I stopped I fell over and something punctured a hole just above my knee. I abandoned the bike and hobbled up the hill to my house. My older sister caught me trying to band-aid a 1" x 1/2" deep puncture. The scar is still visible.

xB_Nutt

When I was 15 or so, I was impressing my friends by riding my bike while facing backwards down the road. Car was parked on the side of the road with its trunk open. I hit with full force and split my head open on the truck latch. Got a ride in the ambulance for that stunt. 5 or 6 stitches and I was good as new.

Tonight I test road a bike with no brakes...

Zaphod Beeblebrox 

I decided to not take an angry driver's horn honking in stride one time...Instead I 'took the lane' so to speak, in front of them on a fairly busy road where they had no room to pass....for about a quarter mile...at a maddeningly low speed.

I thought I was pretty clever until I got to the bottom of the hill and the car behind him was Mister Police Officer.

Then I did not feel so clever.

leftthread

In my early twenties I worked a summer job with this hot blonde chick. She said her bike needed repair and asked me to come over to take a look at it.

So I stopped over; she met me at the door wearing a white bikini and asked me if I wanted a beer.

I actually worked on the bike.

Zaphod Beeblebrox 

did you at least drink the beer?

electrik

Perhaps not C&V... but anyways - Rolling down the back of a 5ft high step-up platform somebody had built in the woods. Used the brake and the 2x4 slid loose from the top of the platform - Suddenly the other end of the 2x4 was now rushing at my head and my head was going to plant right into the ground afterwards.. a good 4 foot drop. Came to on the ground, seeing stars. Helmet took some 2x4 damage.

That was DUMB. I don't ride un-insured stunts anymore. I should probably go back with an axe.

It hurts just thinking about it.

scozim 

In college a bunch of us would ride one of the really steep hills and then come blasting down at over 50 mph with no helmets and, on hot days, no shirts either. In hindsight, we were one flat or miscue from serious injury. But, it was still fun!

KD5NRH

Old Murray MTB. Ramp of 3/4" plywood, with the end held up by loose bricks. Do I really need to go on?

roccobike

I don't like resurrecting old threads, but this one never should have gone away. Classic!

96WX3

Didn't get hurt, but probably not a good idea anyway. We had a snowday one winter and the neighbor had not done his sidewalk yet. So between the huge snowfall and the snow plow there was enough snow to cover most of the wheel on our BMX bikes. This was on a hill. So we would ride for about 100' and launch ourselfs clear as the bike stuck into the snow of the neighbors sidewalk, sending us a ways and landing in the fresh snow.

merganser22

Well I started out my bike stupidity when I was 5, riding my green and yellow tricycle uphill on the driveway, I looked back for a second and hit my father's parked brand new Plymouth Horizon at full speed. No helmet. Head went right thru the rear taillight housing. No damage to me whatsoever so my father was just completely baffled as to how my head could have destroyed his taillight with no damage.

A few years later at 10 I was out riding on the street with my sister and was told to keep an eye on her. I looked back to see what she was up to and took a mailbox to the chest. Bike kept going, both it and myself were fine.

After years of not riding I decided that I needed a bike for my senior year of college. My father volunteered his Ross 12 speed that he had no intention of riding ever again. I took it out for a test ride and realized as I was coming to a T intersection that I had forgotten which lever was associated with which brake. Hrmph? Thats a Pickle. Somehow my solution was to just pick a lever and grip as hard as I could. How did I ever make it thru the first three years of college with problem solving skills like that? Yep I chose left went whole hog and went directly over the bars. No real injury to me. The bike never really shifted so well afterward.

YoKev

Doing a wheelie to show off, I went past the balance point, couldn't clip out fast enough, and broke my elbow.

Old Yeller

Going down a steep hill I decided it would be cool to stand on the seat while holding the handlebars. I went down so fast I can't remember if I ever did get a foot up on the seat. Spent the entire summer with nasty thick scabs on both knees. The scars didnt go away until I was about 25 years old! Pictured below was the bike and my hero of that time.

shrinkboy

March, 1985- Depart Sedona AZ on my all Campy Paramount, geared 13-14-15-17-19-21 ('that 21 has GOT TO BE a small enough gear'-total flatlander thinking), 52/42 on the front, with, as follows: one tubular spare, one bottle of water, and there may have been a banana. Headed for Flagstaff. Informed no one of my intended route, just said, "See ya later" to my wife and my mother. Ground all the way to Flagstaff city limit sign, about 22 miles of climbing, and then turned around in the cooling, starting to fail daylight, for a high speed coast of the same distance, exhausted and sweaty from the climb, now descending in the cooling afternoon. Every few miles, I had to pull over and try to warm up, and recover from the mounting fear as I realized the gravity of what might happen if I went down on a curve, disappeared over the slope, down among the trees to become bear food and not be found until the following year, if ever. I pulled into Sedona with a combined sense of relief and private embarrassment at what was no doubt one of the dumbest things I'd ever done, without there being a tragic consequence.

RobbieTunes

All of cyclingdom is now in pain.

Andrew F

Cut the forks off my older brothers bike (without his approval ) jamed them onto my Stingray making a really cool chooper.......until the front end collapsed....oh the humility.....then my brother found his bike.....oh the beating....it was worth it!

If I could do it again, i'd left my brothers bike alone and stopped by the bikini blonde chick's house while leftthread fixed her bike