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C&V monologe....

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C&V monologe....

Old 06-03-11, 09:43 PM
  #1  
RobbieTunes
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C&V monologe....

Cool Hand Luke, Bull Durham, Equus, etc. There must be a C&V monologue somewhere out there.....
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Old 06-03-11, 11:12 PM
  #2  
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Uh, Robbie... what we have here is a failure to communicate. I have no idea what the heck you're asking for!
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Old 06-03-11, 11:49 PM
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I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks get set go
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
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Old 06-03-11, 11:54 PM
  #4  
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Lust, lugs,steel and stamina, the road is mine and I shall ride.
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Old 06-04-11, 10:13 AM
  #5  
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Originally Posted by snarkypup View Post
Uh, Robbie... what we have here is a failure to communicate. I have no idea what the heck you're asking for!
Yes you do......

I’m a cyclist and I believe in steel, forged in the heat that made the earth, balanced in the hands of craftsman. I believe in the harmonic hum of tensioned stainless spokes and the silent complaint of rubber on the road. I want to look down and see lugs, the evidence of construction from a simpler time; and polished pieces that evoke the glimmer of riches past. Stems and bars should be an amiable pairing, requiring necessary thought and consideration before alteration. A shift should be a metallic confirmation of a choice in effort; braking should be a moderated, concerted interruption of inertia. My ride is a shiny glider of steel, alloy, and chrome, tempered by rubber, leather and cork. I don’t propel it, I wear it as an extension of myself while I command the surface of the planet over which I move, on my own power, at the time of my own choosing, in a manner which I alone mandate.

Last edited by RobbieTunes; 06-04-11 at 02:31 PM.
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Old 06-04-11, 10:36 AM
  #6  
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I'm alittle scared
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Old 06-04-11, 10:46 AM
  #7  
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"Can you hold on for a second? I’m on my hamburger phone. It’s just like really awkward to talk on."


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Old 06-04-11, 11:41 AM
  #8  
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I've got a Bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket, a bell that rings, and things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it

Syd Barret of Pink Floyd
"The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" (1967)
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Old 06-04-11, 12:13 PM
  #9  
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Originally Posted by RobbieTunes View Post
Yes you do......

I’m a cyclist and I believe in steel, forged in the heat that made the earth, balanced in the hands of craftsman. I believe in the harmonic hum of tensioned stainless spokes and the silent complaint of rubber on the road. I want to look down and see lugs, the evidence of construction from a simpler time; and polished pieces that evoke the glimmer of riches past. Stems and bars should an amiable pairing, requiring necessary thought and consideration before alteration. A shift should be a metallic confirmation of a choice in effort; braking should be a moderated, concerted interruption of inertia. My ride is a shiny glider of steel, alloy, and chrome, tempered by rubber, leather and cork. I don’t propel it, I wear it as an extension of myself while I command the surface of the planet over which I move, on my own power, at the time of my own choosing, in a manner which I alone mandate.
I think you pretty much covered it all there.
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Old 06-05-11, 10:46 AM
  #10  
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Originally Posted by shadoman View Post
I think you pretty much covered it all there.
Classic Robbie. Nice.

andy
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Old 06-05-11, 10:50 AM
  #11  
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Bravo, Robbie!
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Old 06-05-11, 11:07 AM
  #12  
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Originally Posted by RobbieTunes View Post
Yes you do......

Iím a cyclist and I believe in steel, forged in the heat that made the earth, balanced in the hands of craftsman. I believe in the harmonic hum of tensioned stainless spokes and the silent complaint of rubber on the road. I want to look down and see lugs, the evidence of construction from a simpler time; and polished pieces that evoke the glimmer of riches past. Stems and bars should be an amiable pairing, requiring necessary thought and consideration before alteration. A shift should be a metallic confirmation of a choice in effort; braking should be a moderated, concerted interruption of inertia. My ride is a shiny glider of steel, alloy, and chrome, tempered by rubber, leather and cork. I donít propel it, I wear it as an extension of myself while I command the surface of the planet over which I move, on my own power, at the time of my own choosing, in a manner which I alone mandate.
"He's never been the same since he won that bike."
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Old 06-05-11, 07:01 PM
  #13  
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This is my Bicycle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My Bicycle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My Bicycle, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.
I must ride my bike well. I must ride faster than my opponent who is trying to pass me. I must pass him before he passes me. I will...
My Bicycle and myself know that what counts in this life is not the miles we log, the speed of our burst, nor the wool we wear. We know that it is the journey that counts. We will ride...
My bike is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its bearings and its spokes. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my bike clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

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Old 06-05-11, 09:53 PM
  #14  
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To ride, or not to ride, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler on the road to suffer
The taunts and snears of the CF wonderboys,
Or to shift gears on the downtube,
And by error crosschain? To bonk, to
crash,
No more; and by an upgrade to say we end
The nostalgia, and the thousand friction
shifts
That Campagnolo is heir to: ‘tis an end
Hardly to be wished. To bonk, to crash;
To crash, perchance to settle – ay, there’s
the rub:
For with that insurance settlement what
bike may come,
When we’ve sold our steel frame for scrap,
Must give us pause – there’s the act
That makes calamity of skilled artisans.
For who would bear the skips and clacking
of chains,
The ghost shifting, the single pivot’s
inferior braking,
The mess of tubulars glue, the cable
clamps,
The threaded headset, and the loose
ball bearings in cup and cone assemblies,
When he himself might his ease make
with modern STI? Who would fewer gears
bear,
To grunt and sweat in 42/21,
But that the dread of something after steel,
The modern LBS from whose
trip
No retrogrouch returns, with proper advice,
And makes us rather wrench on our own
bikes
Than have a BMX kid touch our ride?
Thus plastic does make skeptics of us
all,
And thus the original patina
Is spray-bombed over by a hipster,
And bosses drewed by an angle grinder,
With this act our loyalties heighten,
And forsake clipless pedals. Soft you now,
Fair Sturmey Archer! IGH, in thy pawls
Be all my miles remembered.


Oh crap, that's a soliloquy, not a monologue.
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Old 06-05-11, 11:19 PM
  #15  
Wildwood
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Like -- Wow, guys.
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Old 06-05-11, 11:58 PM
  #16  
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I have a bike.

I ride it, and it makes me happy when I do.

It allows me to relax while my heart gets pumping.

I donít care if itís steel, aluminum, titanium, carbon, or bambooÖ

Allowing my mind & body a time away from the absurdity makes it the most real and important thing that I do for myself, and those I love.
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Old 06-06-11, 10:34 AM
  #17  
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Originally Posted by JunkYardBike View Post
To ride, or not to ride, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler on the road to suffer
The taunts and snears of the CF wonderboys,
Or to shift gears on the downtube,
And by error crosschain? To bonk, to
crash,
No more; and by an upgrade to say we end
The nostalgia, and the thousand friction
shifts
That Campagnolo is heir to: ‘tis an end
Hardly to be wished. To bonk, to crash;
To crash, perchance to settle – ay, there’s
the rub:
For with that insurance settlement what
bike may come,
When we’ve sold our steel frame for scrap,
Must give us pause – there’s the act
That makes calamity of skilled artisans.
For who would bear the skips and clacking
of chains,
The ghost shifting, the single pivot’s
inferior braking,
The mess of tubulars glue, the cable
clamps,
The threaded headset, and the loose
ball bearings in cup and cone assemblies,
When he himself might his ease make
with modern STI? Who would fewer gears
bear,
To grunt and sweat in 42/21,
But that the dread of something after steel,
The modern LBS from whose
trip
No retrogrouch returns, with proper advice,
And makes us rather wrench on our own
bikes
Than have a BMX kid touch our ride?
Thus plastic does make skeptics of us
all,
And thus the original patina
Is spray-bombed over by a hipster,
And bosses drewed by an angle grinder,
With this act our loyalties heighten,
And forsake clipless pedals. Soft you now,
Fair Sturmey Archer! IGH, in thy pawls
Be all my miles remembered.


Oh crap, that's a soliloquy, not a monologue.
Very nice. Did you get 1000 monkeys to do that?
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Old 06-06-11, 10:38 AM
  #18  
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Guys, we have to get together for a C&V poetry slam sometime! I'll bring my favorite percussion instrument, which is a 1923 Underwood typewriter.
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Old 06-06-11, 10:52 AM
  #19  
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Bongos, Bongos.
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Old 06-06-11, 12:13 PM
  #20  
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Well, I am floored. Except for the hamburger phone cite and the reference to "Cool Hand Luke". I don't know whether the posts were created by the posters, or are from another source. Could you all please indicate which? I've enjoyed them all, especially the Shakespearean soliloquy.
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Old 06-06-11, 12:15 PM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by Zaphod Beeblebrox View Post
This is my Bicycle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My Bicycle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My Bicycle, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.
I must ride my bike well. I must ride faster than my opponent who is trying to pass me. I must pass him before he passes me. I will...
My Bicycle and myself know that what counts in this life is not the miles we log, the speed of our burst, nor the wool we wear. We know that it is the journey that counts. We will ride...
My bike is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its bearings and its spokes. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my bike clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

"We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
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Old 06-06-11, 12:41 PM
  #22  
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Originally Posted by Zaphod Beeblebrox View Post
Did you get 1000 monkeys to do that?
No, this is the version 999 produced, before the last did final edits.

Originally Posted by DavidW56 View Post
I don't know whether the posts were created by the posters, or are from another source. Could you all please indicate which?
It was late, I was delirious. And then the 999 monkeys appeared to commandeer my keyboard!

Last edited by JunkYardBike; 06-06-11 at 01:27 PM.
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Old 06-06-11, 12:52 PM
  #23  
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Bike--good!

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Old 06-06-11, 04:45 PM
  #24  
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Bring 'em folks.
I just know snarkypup is working on something.
Or grading ours.

Last edited by RobbieTunes; 06-06-11 at 09:14 PM.
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Old 06-07-11, 01:00 AM
  #25  
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531, light of my life, lyre of my coins. My grin, my goal. Five-three-one: the flex of the frame making a trip of three miles down the tarmac to stop, at once, on a dime. Five. Three. One.
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