3alarmer 

............lying on a gurney in the UC Davis trauma center, with a bunch of people asking me my name and if I knew the date.

Chris_in_Miami

A couple of years ago, I organized a series of gravel rides out on the levees that crisscross the Florida Everglades. I thought I could get away with one final short ride for the season in May, but it was already pretty hot and humid. I had ridden the route on the previous weekend, and apart from the heat, I felt like we'd still have a decent ride and probably spot some wildlife.

On ride morning, I had about 12 recreational riders assembled, and I briefed them on the conditions and made sure everyone was carrying enough fluids, and we headed out on a bumpy 15 mile loop with mid-90's temps and insane humidity. A pair of smart riders turned back after about 2 miles, but the rest of us kept on, and before we hit the halfway mark, we realized we were in the midst of a massive deer fly hatch. At that point, we couldn't stop pedaling or the nasty things would be all over us in seconds. We all made it out alive of course, but I felt pretty bad for leading those folks on such a miserable slog.

Chris_in_Miami

When I broke my collarbone last year, the ER doc put me in a figure 8 brace. I went to an orthopedic doc two days later and he claimed that those fixtures are basically worthless. I found that an arm sling did a good enough job of keeping the joint stabilized.

rootboy 

Your mom's pediatrician got that one out of the way for you. You're golden now!

nlerner

I rode with -Holiday once, and he was so angry he tore off his front derailleur. I'm still scarred.

Oregon Southpaw

•Getting t-boned by another bicyclist, trashed my front wheel and tweaked the fork
•Getting t-boned by a car who blew through a stop light, trashed front wheel, tweaked fork. Upside: got a $1000 settlement out of it
•Tire disintegrating on 35mph descent, road rash, bruises, trashed front wheel, off the bike for 6 months
•Leg cramps that were so excruciating I had to get off the bike, screaming in agony (50 miles from home), limped it home and was sore for three days after
•Riding someone else's bike had a weird shot of pain in the groin, turns out it was this and it has hurt all day everyday since and there's essentially no cure

So yeah I've had some rough experiences over the years

Oregon Southpaw

I guess the last fits less in this thread and more in the "Cycling memories that will never recede into memory because they will plague you until the day of your death."

Lascauxcaveman 

Chain came off due to poorly-adjusted RD (new wheel with a slightly deeper hub than previous. This happened just as I stood up on the pedals to crank hard to clear a short hill.

Chain comes off the smallest cog, foot comes off the pedal (no retention), rider comes off the bike (shoulder roll), bike lands on top of rider. Super impressive road rash (riding shirtless, in shorts on a hot day) as well as my first broken helmet. No broken bones, however. I was able to ride home, though in much pain. Could have been a lot worse.

Oregon Southpaw

I had something similar happen. In my case the chain got caught up in the pulley wheel, shot the back wheel out of the dropout, and sent me flying over the handlebars.

Scooper

My front wheel got caught in the trolley track on Market St when I was doing ~25mph. I went over the bars and flew about ten feet, separating my A-C joint, cutting my forehead open requiring seven stitches, and breaking my right wrist. I was unconcious for several minutes.

The ER doc at Davies Medical Center said their nickname for what happened is "the Muni Dive", and it happens two or three times a week. There's even a Muni Dive sticker.

CV-6 

I can't say I have any bad memories. I have crashed badly. I had a chain break on a hill once. Had my rear derailleur come apart in the middle of nowhere. But it's all part of the ride.

Gonzo Bob

My worst memory is from Paris-Brest-Paris 2003. I had gotten all caught up in trying to keep in the lead pack and basically did not eat enough and did not pick up much food at the first control (~90 miles in) and I got so light headed and nauseous that I had to get off the bike and sit down in the ditch about 20 miles after that control. I ate my powered drink mix for some calories and then limped into the next control where I ate, drank, and rested for about 2 hours before continuing.

-holiday76

it's true, but I also bite the heads off of kittens when I'm happy.

rhm

One summer when I was home from college my mother had invited the daughter of an old friend of hers to stay with us for a couple months. She was about my age and about my size and she actually raced bikes, so that was pretty good. I lent her one of my bikes --it was a Windsor, Columbus frame, Cyclone gears, nice bike-- and we went for a ride. So far so good, eh?

Well, here's the bad part. She got hit by a truck. Compound fracture of the femur. She was in the hospital for months. She was lucky she didn't die.

Anyway, that's my worst cycling memory, but it doesn't really count since obviously it was a lot worse for her.

KvltBryce

Ahahah what a priceless story, C! One of those you'll always be able to look back on and laugh

Belg-Ital Steel 

A pal and and I are about 10-12 years old. We are riding our bikes between two local small towns. I am on my pride and joy..60s Huffy cruiser with ballon tires, he is on his Schwinn Purple Krate (he had a paper route). As we are crossing the old quarter mile race area (long straight stretch), the 17 year old town bully pulls up on his brand new Honda trail 90. He informs us that he will help us by pulling me across the flats using his Honda as the tow truck and he will do so safely so I do not have any option to say no. He proceeds to put the elastic cable from his rear fender rack on the handle bars of my bike. We take off, he goes 10 MPH for a short while, then 20, then 30, then 40, then 50. By this time I am sheet white, finally at the end of the flats (roughly 2 miles) he pulls the Honda over. I tell him that I could have been easily killed and that he shouldn't have went so fast. While laughing himself silly, he proceeds to tell me it was only 55 and that I should stop my whinning or he wouldn't tow me back even faster. I told him I would rather just get my self back and did so. Everytime I saw him thereafter, he would ask if I wanted a tow.

gaucho777 

As a teenager back in the late 80s, I was riding my beloved Look Bernard Hinault. I was looking down, setting my Avocet 30 at the start of a ride just a few blocks from my home, when I face-planted into the back of a parked car. My braces I had at the time went all the way through my skin between my lip and nose. Took a few painful minutes at home in front of a mirror before I could get my skin unstuck. Orthodontist said the braces probably saved me from losing my two front teeth. The next day I discovered a crease at the bottom of the down tube near the head lug. It took 20+ years before I rode the bike again.

apollored

I tore a tendon just above my ankle last year and also have a trapped nerve in between the big toe and the next one so i couldnt ride my bike properly for at least three months last year, only plod round on it around the local areas.

Had to recover from that and then build up my fitness slowly and missed all the group rides that were going on.

Also big problems with my bottom bracket having to strip it down every week because the community bike shop didnt have the tools to removew the casing around it but eventually got that sorted at the LBS.

So between me being injured and the bike having mechanical problems the first half of last year was a bit of a washout as far as cycling was concerned.

Made up for it later in the year tho

Kobe 

After the first paragraph I thought I was reading Penthouse Forums, we all know how true those stories are.

The rest is really not what I expected.

Clarabelle

Locked handlebars head on with a bicyclist coming on to the Burke Gilman Trail. Lost part of my right index finger when her handlebars collided with my hand gripping the brake lever. Coulda be a lot worse.

poprad

OK, plenty of crash out stories I could share, but here was one of my worst non-crash days:

Started off on a long, lonely desert ride south of Phoenix, AZ. As usual packed plenty of water, had a spare tube, patch kit, pump, and CO2.

7 miles into the ride I flat. No big deal, this is AZ. Happens all the time, goathead thorns abound. Fixed it, marched on. 2 miles later flat #2. Irritating, but again, no big deal. Not my first double. Open the tire up and find...it wasn't a flat but rather a lengthwise seam failure of the inner tube. Completely unrepairable on the road. OK, now it's about 108 out by now. Time to fix and go home. Do a quick patch of tube # 1, pop it in, and...promptly snap the entire valve stem off when I start pumping.

Now, here I am in full on cycling attire, Sidi shoes and cleats (speedplays, mind you, with their big, non walkable platforms), and I'm now a loooong way from the last civilization in desert walking terms. I end up walking the whole damn way...in the shoes (again, it's AZ and the pavement is about 150 degrees...no sock walking there). By the time I make it back to someplace with AC and water I'm blistered, tired, sweaty, and forced to walk my beautiful road bike for a lot more than an hour. I had calf cramps you wouldn't believe from walking in the Sidis. This was before cell phones were commonplace, but I got one after that.

Not too dramatic and no catchy ending twist, but man was that a crap day on the bike.

phillybill

Watching my Schwinn 1972 Paramount track bike turn into a pretzel in a crash at Trexlertown in 1977. I only left with a broken arm.

Chombi

Mine was when my first ever bike (10 speed) was stolen from our garage one quiet Sunday morning during summer vacation from school when I was about 11 years old.........
Had pretty bad crashes many years after that on my other later bikes, but those never left as big and lasting a scar on my mind as when I lost my first "real" bike.....

Chombi

Ex Pres 

Sorry, but I'm going to have to report a wreck as well, from back in '73.

Riding my Gitane Interclub at night, no street lights, no bike lights, up a hill on the road in my neighborhood.
Another kid - I had played b-ball w/him earlier in the day - screaming down the hill on his bike.
Saw him a split second before we hit head on - with 27*1 1/4 tires - that's hard to do even trying.
Broken jaw, nose, cheekbone. I woke in the ambulance as they were cutting my bloodied shirt off me.
Hospital for 7 days.
Jaw wired shut ~12 weeks.
5 root canals.
Had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled to reduce the pressure across the front of my mouth (the missing zone).
Initially 2 bridges, one upper 3t, one lower 3t.
My tear duct "healed" closed. My right eye cried most of my sophomore year in HS. Another surgery to open it back up.
Upper bridge replaced post B-School after it fell out. Was 3 tooth, now it's a 6 tooth model.
My lower bridge is the next to go. I may need a bone graft first as it's been disappearing around the 2 (root canaled) roots that are left.
Bicycle wrecks - the gift that keeps on giving, even 40 years later.

But I can still ride. Not everyone can say that.

gomango

Wow.

Glad you survived.

None of my stories seem worth telling after some of these in this thread.

Careful out there everyone.