I don't post in this forum but I do read here and I used to be an Athena. Around 2009 I dangerously lost 100lbs in 12 mos. due to a season of profound sadness where I lost the will to eat for long periods of time (not the healthy way, with diet and exercise).

Since then I've gotten good counseling and am surrounding myself with loving social support, I'm doing all the right things but....

I'm frustrated because I still have inconsistent success with regular diet and exercise. I re-gained some of the weight I lost during my "bad year" plus my weight fluctuates a lot. I lead an emotionally intense life, and I've learned that some people simply are like this and it is not bad or necessarily unhealthy. I just need to make choices that are as healthful as possible for myself and my circumstances.

A big goal is to commute to work on my bike every day. I can do it, the commute is not that far (8.5 miles). In fact yesterday I rode 23 miles just for fun. But I often simply struggle to care enough to make myself make the healthy choice to ride. I had a personal trainer over the winter, and that helped to have accountability but it became an unsustainable financial expense. (I'd love to do more with a trainer sometime, I learned a lot about core development and got some good tips on bike riding technique too... but that's an aside).

Perhaps I have a streak of fatalism, or perhaps it's little more than childish petulance. But I don't think so. After two years of wanting this so badly, I have to conclude that my primary obstacles to riding as much as I want to are simply psychological. There's nothing "wrong" about that, but I can't assume they will go away if I ignore them. I was just curious if anyone else has encountered this particular obstacle, or anything similar, and what you've done to effectively deal with it. Some people say "Just Ride" and while I love the simplicity of that advice it's not very constructive for me.

Thank you for entertaining my question.

I changed my life when my father retired and had a heart attack. I saw that I was on a similar path, and started taking steps. The only thing that has motivated me, consistently, is the recollection of seeing him in the hospital for the first time, post-surgery. That was 15 or more years ago, and it still keeps me on track.

I don't have any quick fixes for your situation. You seem to know what to do, and how to do it, and those are two of the most important aspects of changing. "Just ride" is good advice, even if it's not enough, for you. The sentiment behind it is that riding more will make you stronger, fitter, and, thus, the rides will be more enjoyable, feeding back into the motivation to ride, even more. It probably does work, for many people.

Besides riding to and from work, which wouldn't motivate me, much, is there somewhere else you can go, on a bicycle, that does provide some motivation? Maybe visiting a friend, or relative, or riding to a park to watch kids play ball. Maybe a village, nearby, that has a certain "vibe" that you enjoy. You have a fine bike, does it stir anything in you to consider a long-range goal? A century? A bike-packing trip? How about a cross-country trek? Maybe a foreign tour?

When I was younger, I hated running. I played sports, especially football, and everything I did required lots of running, and I hated all of it. I enjoyed the games, the strategy, the winning, and, especially, the hitting, but I did not like the running, even when I was carrying the ball. Now, over 30 years later, I run. I'm a runner. I run 5ks, and I run on the track, and I run around the block. I don't know why I ~enjoy running, now, but something changed, and I do. I won't run a marathon, or even a half. I don't love running. I enjoy the breathing, and the rhythms, and the sweat, and the challenge. I'd rather ride a bike, but, I'll run, if that's what we're doing, today.

I suppose the main thing is to keep going. I struggle with that. Some days are rest days, and I'm fine with that, but there are days when I don't want to get tired and hot and sweaty, and it's not a rest day. Those days are hard, and I sometimes fail to achieve my goals. Some days, though, I work out, any way. Those days are great days. I go to the gym, or I ride my bike, or I run and run and run, like Forrest Gump. I don't need anybody to cheer, or pat me on the back, or to tell me how awesome I was. Those days are what motivate me to keep going. You need some of those days. Make some.

My obstacle is excessive business. I agree with the just ride mentality. When I do ride, I find i'm in a much better mood. For me it's very therapeutic. Normally once I get past the mental commitment of doing it it's no problem. Make sure you have a lights (front and back), a mirror and a lock if you need one. Hopefully once you've done it you'll be hooked. Tell us what day your going to do it and then we can ask you about it afterwards. Hope to be hearing about it soon.

I don't know if my answer will be what you are looking for. In my experience, I've found people do what they want to do and don't do the things that they don't want to do, despite wishing they wanted to.

I love to ride my bike. I make time for it. I do it multiple times a week. Come up with reasons to do it. Ignore reasons not to do it. Get bummed out if I can't ride for a number of days. If someone calls and says, let's ride. I go. I plan vacations around it.

I also have friends that say they want to ride. They buy the stuff. Get it all ready to go... and then they never go. It's just not their passion no matter how much they want it to be.

I have other things that I'm like that with. Kayaking for example. I have a nice one sitting dusty in the garage. Every time there is a nice day to go kayaking... I go for bike ride.

I guess my advice is follow your passion. If you have something that you want to do that is healthy aside from cycling, go do that. Maybe one day your passion will shift and cycling will be your thing. If not, no worries. Do the other thing that is fun for you. Much better than lamenting the lack of drive for cycling, imo.

I would suggest backing off of the goal to commute every day. What if you commuted 2-3 set days per week and then tried to get out and do one long ride over the weekend? I would suggest trying to give yourself some space to ebb and flow a bit until you get the lift in momentum from riding and feel the will do more. Also try some other forms of riding other than a commute to try to vary the experience of riding. I find the mystery and surprises that happen while trying a new route or a new style of riding make it rewarding and fun. For instance, I realized I don't really like road riding all that much, but that I absolutely love gravel riding and climbing. For what it's worth, climbing on gravel is where I tend to get out a lot of my anger and frustrations. Plus the exertion honestly helps me feel a lot better emotionally and sleep better (after a year of insomnia), which is huge.

If you like the accountability, you should keep a log of your rides. Another idea is to have a friend (if they also ride that is better), and use the friend for accountability.

I don't think anyone would mind if you logged your miles/time on the monthly goal thread.

GH

they say it takes 3 weeks to make a new habit.

Tackle commuting for 4 weeks. You will hit the highs and lows, but MUST endure it. If you can get past the 4 weeks, it shouldn't be as psychological.....what's 4 weeks when you held off for 104 weeks already? Commute 2-3days a week to start and at least 1 fun ride per week.

DO IT!!!

Report back on the 3rd week when you're in the slums and need more pushing

If you want accountablity (and I do get that!), how about looking into one your local bicycling clubs?
You'rein STL? St. Louis? I just googled St. Louis bicycle clubs and damned if there isn't one for recreational riders. St. Louis Recreational Cyclists.
Make a couple commitments to ride with them and you may meet others with similar needs. Looks like it's all fun rides.

Couple thoughts.

First, commuting is a great way to work exercise into your day. I can tell you there are many afternoons after a long day at the office that I really don't feel like jumping on the bike and riding home. Today was one of those days. After a few minutes in the saddle all that goes away and its an enjoyable ride.

Also, go join a club or team. Lots of them out there at all levels. I started out with a club that had lots of beginner cyclists with a few advanced riders. Got lots of encouragement and developed some great friendships and riding partners. Those riding and workout partners also help keep me accountable.

You have to find some basic goals that will keep you on track and motivate healthy choices. Here's mine. Few years ago I started racing again. I was out of shape and way overweight. But I lined up, pinned on a number and gave it all I had. Finished near dead last. So I trained some (commuting on my bike) ate a little better and tried again the next weekend. And on and on it went. Got a lot healthier along the way every week. And I had a ton of fun doing it. My goal is to race well and in order to do that i need to continuously work on my fitness, eat healthy, and keep my weight down.

Good luck with finding your path and to achieving your goals.

Put the bike on the car
drive to work
ride bike home

now you have to ride to work next day

+1. Your kayaking is my going to the gym. Not even the $60/month for dues and locker rental has motivated me enough to go as often as I should, even recently when it's been too hideously hot to ride more than my 4 mile round trip commute. I rent the locker so I can keep my workout shoes there, which was supposed to motivate me to go more often by making things more convenient. Hasn't worked.

They monthly goal thread here is a great motivator for me. I know I can't get enough miles in this month to meet my goal and I feel GUILTY. The folks here are great motivators and come from all walks of life. You will not find a friendlier group of cyclists anywhere. If you need to be held accountable put a number up and try to hit it. Smaller at first then increase it as you feel month over month. When you reach that first goal it feels great, when you beat those goals it feels even better.

2 years ago my wife would complain about how much she hated riding. I would get yelled at because I "forced" her to ride. Now she rides solo and feels like she hasn't ridden in months if she misses a day. She is hooked, but it took time.

Motivation is tough for all of us. I have struggled with it this year and am just getting in stride with wanting to ride more. By this time last year I had about 1300 miles on the bike. I'm maybe at 450 this year. It's all due to poor motivation.

Thanks for your response, you've said some helpful things. I suppose even with all the structured support I have in my life, it still helps to talk through problems.

I never thought of doing a cross country ride before, but I would like to do a century... is it realistic to think I could do that in 3 years? I can't see why not. The farthest I've ever gone in one trip so far is maybe 27 miles. And that was on my old steel bike, the bike I have now is lighter and faster. Can an ordinary person do something like ride cross country, or even across the state?

I have been on a few rides for fun lately, and I think it's a good suggestion to do more of that. I live in a very urban area, so learning to enjoy industrial areas is a new flavor for me. I grew up in the woods, and I used to go hiking a lot, so my heart misses the wilderness. I press myself to ride close to home, and I do somewhat appreciate the urban/industrial bike trails that are close to my home. But rail yards and scrap heaps and trucking hubs are not especially motivating to me, especially when I am riding alone. But the bike trails are paved and have nice amenities like periodic rest areas with water fountains and restrooms, and are about 85% segregated from traffic.

Death doesn't scare me much.... I don't find the fear of it terribly motivating. But I have had several people close to me die in recent years and I know those experiences were terribly heartbreaking for me. Presumably I might cause someone I love to feel that way if I became incapacitated or died before my time. That is probably worth more of my thought and consideration.

Thanks.

some days I just don't feel like riding until I am a few miles down the road...that means I made myself do it and enjoyment of it came later.

This

Yes, the psychological aspect is like the elephant in the room. The natural drive to motivate is so joyous when it happens, but the flip side is that there is some guilt when it doesn't. You mentioned that you took off a bunch of weight (a good thing), but it wasn't quite right because it was too fast or something (not really good or bad) - just something that happened, at least from a fitness and health standpoint. One of the nice things about getting older is recognizing how these past experiences contribute to how we are now. Have you ever noticed that some of the best cyclists out there are practically elderly? The other day I was thinking about this while navigating a busy intersection. Irrational, competitive thoughts were drowning out my "laid back but productive self". Being smooth, injury free, consistent and durable are more noble achievements than being "first" or setting a new PR for time or distance. It is kind of like being a distance swimmer I would think because in order to be good you have to suspend the normal cues of success. The process is the reward so to speak. I love threads like this and could write more on the subject but right now I'm procrastinating riding - LoL! Today, I hope to take my bike down to this one country road far from my town and then make my way up to another town, the halfway point. There I hope to get a cup of coffee and take stock in my chances of staying smooth and progressive for the return trip. Good luck with your quest!

You can do a century in three years. You can do it, much sooner, if you want. If there's a trick to it, it would be to find a route that suits your riding style (minimal hills, epic scenery, whisky bars, whatever). Everyone who rides cross country is an ordinary person. There are some people who are faster than others, or who tolerate long days in the saddle better than others, but they're not super heroes. You can do these rides, too. There are articles, all the time, describing regular people who "just do it". Like the guy who rode across the country to raise awareness and money for his sister's illness. Or, the lady who endured a very brutal upbringing and now rides long cross country races to inspire other girls and women to find the courage to improve their situations. I read her story, in Bicycling, last night. Very inspiring, to me.

I used to live in a big city, and enjoyed riding in the "urban landscape". Jumping curbs, climbing multi-story parking lots for the thrill of the descent, outrunning the police, bombing through a scary neighborhood, or just cruising around, looking at the lights on the buildings, or exploring the alleys. It was fun, at the time. These days, I live in the country, and I mostly ride back roads, or through small towns, enjoying the scenery and the peace and quiet. I still like to push hard, and I'll pick a route with killer hills, if I'm in the mood. There's enough variety that it's never boring. Even my regular sprint around the block offers enough of a challenge, if I'm willing to do it. Find the kind of riding you most enjoy, and figure out how you can do that ride, regularly, while throwing in harder, or longer, rides as "workouts" in between the fun rides. The workouts are for making the fun rides easier, and more fun. If the city scenery isn't to your liking, head towards the country, or throw your bike in the car, and drive somewhere that you like, better. One good thing about cycling is that you don't have to stay close to home. The very act of riding the bike can take you anywhere on the continent. You don't need to ride the same route, over and over. All you have to do, to change it, is to turn left, instead of right. Take your phone, and your wallet, and see where you end up. If you want it, every ride can be an adventure.

I haven't really thought about being afraid of death, but I know I'm afraid of what I will miss when I'm gone. I certainly don't want to die, but avoiding death doesn't inform every decision I make. Watching my dad struggle to breathe, and seeing him dwindle from my childhood hero, gave me the motivation to work hard to extend my "good years". I'm not ready to go, that's all. There are things I want to do, yet, and improved fitness, lung capacity, and muscle and bone strength, will all help to make doing those things more possible.

I like kzin's suggestion of driving your bike to work, then riding home, so you have to ride back to get your car the next day. That's motivating! It wouldn't take many of those to create a new habit.

I hope you find something that you can tap into that gives you the urge to ride your bike. Some days, it's all I think about, and I can't wait until I get to clip in and start pedaling. I wish that was every day, but it's not. Every day is another chance, though, and that's all I can reasonably expect.

Riding a Bike is First Mental.
You have to Want to do it, then make your body get in shape to do it.

Best to Take riding One Day at a Time.
I once rode 4200 miles NY to LA. Did that by riding One Day at a Time.

When you commute do it One Day at a Time.

Ask for Help when you have problems.

Hi. I haven't posted here in about three years. My last ride was in August of 2013. I got sidelined for three years due to a very minor injury that blew up into a huge infection (Staph). Between February and May of this year, I spent 32 days in the hospital during which time I had seven surgeries on my foot including amputations of my third toe and the third metatarsal bone in my right foot and very nearly losing the lower half of my right leg.

Things seem to finally be turning round and I expect to be released to resume cycling within the next few weeks. I'm very mixed about this. My heart is saying, "Hell yeah!", but my head isn't quite there, yet.

I ride strictly on the roads and have always started my rides around 4 am to avoid vehicular traffic. The trade-off is that I contend with a lot of wildlife traffic. I've never had a "fear issue" in all of the thousands of miles that I've done this. Until now. After such a long lay-off, my head is full of "What if's". It's driving me crazy because I'm suddenly terrified to do something I can't wait to get back to. It makes no sense, lol.

I know that, for me, I'm simply going to have to make myself do it. I'll make myself go the first morning and then make myself go the second morning and keep making myself do it until, eventually, I won't be forcing myself, anymore, it I'll be routine.

I can't really offer you any advice, unfortunately, but I definitely can empathize with you. The brain can be a scary thing. Just find what works for you and take your time. Eventually, it will be no big deal.

Sorry for the mood, but death is one thing, not quite dead is a much nastier proposition.

Now, back to original subject; like others have mentioned I force myself to go, and after a few km, I'm OK to go. I also use my bike computer (Garmin Edge 520) to challenge myself using Strava segments. I don't care about other rider's results, I aim to beat my own.

Finally, I pick circuits that I cannot, not finish because I have to go back to the car or home. If my resolve disappears, I have to walk back.

Hello everyone,

Thank you all for your many kind words, insights and good suggestions. I'm a little overwhelmed by your responses actually.... it is hard to admit I struggle to do this for no reason other than it is a struggle for me to do it. Some people don't get that (anyone ever been told "just pull up your bootstraps"?) So thanks all for taking my question seriously.

Here are a few thoughts I've had from what's been said so far:

I like the idea of doing more rides for leisure... it's possible that (unrelated) anxieties about work have dampened my enthusiasm to ride when my destination is work. And I like the idea of having goals (such as a century), but haven't ever given much thought to that kind of thing. In my mind I suppose I still think of myself as "the fat kid" in gym class.... even tho my bad experiences being ridiculed in gym class were so many years ago I still let it keep me from pursuing things that are athletically challenging for me.

And it is encouraging to hear other folks say they need to take it one day at a time, and sometimes to force it until the enjoyment comes later "a few miles down the road". In fact I may write that on a piece of paper and tape it to my bike.

Also... I really appreciated the comment about suspending normal cues of success in favor of a smooth, injury free, laid back productivity. "The process is the reward" is good perspective. I had a mentor in college who would say "The best mental health is Perspective" and over the years I've found that insight to be so, so helpful and true.

That's about all I can manage for now, I appreciate hearing similar stories and personal experiences from you all. I suppose maybe I was thinking I was the only one.

+1

This is so me at 5am after waking up. After a couple of miles, I am really feeling great all day and happy I rode. The days I let myself get bogged down and not ride are the days I'm not as happy or more anxious and such.

I've also noticed with myself, that if I take an extensive amount of time off from riding, I have to push myself more to get back into it. When I start riding, every day, or other day, I have an easier time waking up and telling myself, I'm going out for a ride.

Not sure if that would make sense or not or even help. But I do the rides not just for exercise, but for enjoyment. I refuse to do any sorts of competitive cycling, way too out of shape and just not interested. Guess that's why I love trails.

niner does the memo thing already

You can do a century in a few months! Don't wait 3 years. Look around for one that interests you. Maybe find one that's pretty flat for your first. My first one was the first year I started riding. I wanted to go do the one my college put on. It was a road trip for me, and an excuse to get back to Salisbury, MD and see some old friends and professors. The ride also attracts more than 6,000 riders. If that's your goal, go forth and ride one! Also, doing an organized century, especially for your first one, would be better because every 20-25 miles you can be sure of a aid station with food, water, sometimes a bike mechanic, and you can always call the support number and leave the ride via car. Plus, there's usually a tshirt included in the price of registration.

Training really isn't all that hard. You are up to being able to ride about 30 miles now (if you can do 23, you can do 30). Great! I remember that used to be a big ride for me, but now anything under that seems casual, not really work. Find some places you would like to ride to. You like being out in the wilderness - awesome! So do I. We have the option of riding around Fort Jackson in a very controlled environment here, and I know a number of people who swear they will never ride anywhere else. Traffic is bad yada yada. To them I say, a short drive away from the city and you have nearly empty country roads! Plus, you don't have all the nonsense the Fort makes you go through.

Point is, look around for somewhere you want to go, and start riding. Build your endurance. Make the next fun ride a 30 miler. Stick with that distance for a week or so, then up it to 35/40. At this point, try and mix in some hills. Do a 30 mile hilly ride to work on building up more leg and core muscles. After a few of those, 50 miles will be pretty easy.

Set goals for yourself. If it takes you a little while to make it to those goals, that's fine. Move at your own pace. For those long rides, make sure you are consuming calories. Also, if you have a significant other or good friend you can rely on, let them know you might be calling them if you find yourself just a little too far out and can't get back, or if you get a mechanical you can't fix. Go far from home and the industrial trails. Get out in nature. Even better if you can find friends or a group to ride with. Though be careful - cycling can take over your life :-P