Haff

I've been thinking a lot about this whole fat person mentality, and I realized something. When I was still gaining weight, and when I held that high weight for years, I did not view myself as a fat person. I didnt do fat person things, I didnt avoid situations or activities, I still had the same self image i had when I was 150 ls lighter.

Then one day I realized it. I dont remember what brought this realization on, but when it came, all of a sudden, I was a fat person. This allowed me to realize I had to make some changes, I had to lose weight.

So I guess I'm saying for me, its not all bad to see myself as a fat person if I am one, as long as I dont let it limit me and feed back in a negative way. as long as I use it for motivation.

CraigB

This is an interesting phenomenon, and one that my wife experienced recently. It seems there are some people, probably not many, in all of our lives who don't think of us as fat. Body size/image doesn't even register in their perception of us. In my wife's case, it's a very dear friend of many years. We were together with her and another, more casual friend, neither of which we'd seen since before our weight loss. The casual friend was just gushing over how much my wife had lost, while the close friend hadn't said a word. Finally we noticed the close friend was crying, and when we asked why, she said that she felt bad that she hadn't even noticed the weight loss, because she had never thought of my wife as fat to begin with.

It doesn't happen often, but when it does it tends to put a little perspective on all of this.

Neil_B

Interesting, but in the case of the bookseller he had known I was very, very fat. It's just that four and more years of being a more normal weight caused those memories to fade. And perhaps it's time I should as well.

dfritch

I totally agree with john423! I still see a fat guy in the mirror and hope that changes someday. It is much easier to lose the weight then it is to change your mindset. So many of us fail because of john's first statement, you can NEVER go back to the old way of eating. It is so hard to stay on track mentally, and I have so much respect for the people on this site who have been so successful in doing it.

Neil_B

It's called denial. I had it in spades. I told myself I didn't have a problem even as I gave up walking and was reduced to ordering clothes over the Internet since I wasn't able to wander around in a store any longer.

Sayre Kulp 

I know that story. I've been there. I always rationalized it - "if I can still keep up with the skinny guys playing football, I'm fine." Well, eventually I couldn't keep up. I had to take "fat guy breaks." Being on my feet too long while grocery shopping got painful. Knees were sore and buckled from time to time. It sucked.

Had to make a change.

john423

I couldn't stand the whole time at concerts without my back "locking up" - thank goodness most of the bands I'd go see at the time took setbreaks. I could sit down for a while between sets. My back doesn't lock up at concerts any more, but it does give me trouble on my bike. I'm working on that, though.

Neil_B

De Nile isn't just a river. :-)

dfritch

We are all very lucky we can still turn things around. It took me 20 years of being fat, during which, I developed a "fat guy mentality" and became the "King of Rationalization". Woke up one and decided I was taking back my life.

Neil_B

As I posted in another thread, my wake up call was five years ago yesterday. At the risk of being thought a spammer, here it is again.

I'm pasting in the whole list from Historian On Two Wheels for two reasons. One is at the top of the list, and one is at the bottom.

• December 20, 2010 - 282.8
• October 27, 2010 - 296.7
• May 30, 2009 - 285
• August 30, 2008 - 265
• March 1, 2008 - 265
• October 1, 2007 - 255
• August 1, 2007 - 242
• July 17, 2007 - 243
• July 2, 2007 - 245
• June 23 2007 - 245
• June 16, 2007 - 246
• May 4, 2007 - 247
• April 7, 2007 - 249
• March 1, 2007 - 252
• January 31, 2007 - 262
• January 5, 2007 - 275
• December 1, 2006 - 280
• November 1, 2006 - 285
• October 1, 2006- 290
• September 1, 2006 - 297
• August 1, 2006 - 300
• July 1, 2006- 310
• June 1, 2006 - 320
• May 1, 2006 - 330
• April 1, 2006 - 340
• March 1, 2006 - 350
• February 1, 2006- 360
• January 3, 2006 - 400?
• December 22, 2005 - 400

It's been five years since I had my wake up call. Sayre writes about celebrating October 16, the day he decided to turn his life around, as a holiday. Well, I consider the 21st/22nd of December as my second birthday. It was the first moment in my life that I thought I was worth fighting for.

I used to be this man, five years ago. He's gone.



Now I'm this man. With more than a little bit of the man in the statue behind me.



I realize this is off-topic for the thread, but I wanted to celebrate. Let me rephrase. Although I celebrate every day, because I live every day, I wanted to celebrate again here. Thanks for your patience, and support, my friends.

dfritch

Great Job!!! i alway enjoy hearing and seeing stories and photos like yours. I think it helps motivate all of us.

bassjones

My fat guy thinking is related to clothes buying. I bought a pair of jeans two weeks ago that were 4 inches less than the pair I bought in March, and 2 inches less than the pair I bought in July and they were still too big... I could have gone another 2 inches less and it's hard to picture myself buying those jeans. It's a small thing - I was in a 58 and now am in a 52 (though I bought 54).

I also struggle with eating right. Part of my problem is that my wife is also overweight, but EXTREMELY sensitive to criticism, so to avoid dealing with it when she suggests going out to eat I give in and when she says she wants an appetizer, I give in. Then of course I have to "help" her eat the appetizer, though I usually order a healthy meal (leaner sirloin instead of a ribeye and a baked potato with salsa instead of loaded mashed or worse loaded fries, salad with oil and vinegar instead of an unhealthy 2nd side). She's having bariatric surgery next year so that should help me as well since she won't be able to eat like that anymore.

jeneralist 

As someone who has had bariatric surgery (band), let me chime in: practice getting doggie bags / to-go bags now. I still like going out, I still like getting lots of different tastes -- so I've gotten good at ordering child size, or appetizer-as-main course, or "put half of it in a doggie bag before you even bring it out." If she wants the appetizer, you don't need to finish it.

Neil_B

I had this same thing happened to the bookseller during my race two weeks ago. I met this guy.....



and realized I didn't remember what he looked like when I met him a year ago. I had to look it up:



Sayre is the guy to the right.

Interesting how the images in our brain get rewritten.

Neil_B

Bumped for ForlornEnemy and anyone else who is interested. Also, perhaps Sayre could give us an update?

Mithrandir

At around 80 pounds down I participated in a charity bike ride. I felt, for the first time in ages, skinny. I guess I deluded myself, but I just felt that way for some reason. Probably due to how different I felt from 10 months prior.

Regardless, there were many pictures of me on the ride. When I saw these... I realised I was not anywhere close to where I wanted to be yet. Kind of set off a minor depression in me again. On the positive side, instead of eating my head off like I would have in the past, I went crazy on the bike, ramped up my goals aggressively, and dropped another 17 pounds since.

But I still feel fat. I'm not sure when it'll go away again.

Mithrandir

I'm going on a trip next week to my corporate headquarters, first time in a year. I've been pondering what people are going to think when they see me this year... last time they saw me I was literally 97 pounds heavier.

I'm hoping it's good. Nothing like a boost to the ol' ego.

JusticeZero

Oh, I love appetizers too. I just treat the 'appetizers' section as a seperate 'entree' section. Sometimes i'll just get an appetizer, that's the whole meal. We can't handle appetizers AND food.

Sayre Kulp 

I'm not sure what to say. I know a few things have changed for me since I made the original post that started this thread. For one thing, I no longer avoid booths at restaurants. In fact, I have started asking for them because it feels good to know that I CAN fit in them just fine and that wasn't always the case. I have a better handle on how I order when I dine out. As a matter of fact, just last night my wife and I went out to have a mini "date" night. We were celebrating and decided to be a little bit loose with dietary restrictions, if you catch my drift. The funny thing is, we both felt kind of guilty ordering and appetizer AND an entree. That used to be commonplace for us. So now we realize that we've both changed a bit for the better. In addition, there's no question that getting fit helped ignite one hell of a competitive streak. My mediocre successes just fuel that fire. My personality is much more relaxed and warm. My wife often tells me she can't believe how much happier I seem. I feel much more confident - the way I used to be back in high school & college. Or as I like to say, I have my "swagger" back.

Still though, I have a lot of loose skin around my mid section. I don't think I look too bad fully clothed, but I'm still embarrassed to take my shirt off. Until that changes, I still tend to revert to thinking of myself as a fat guy. Or rather, I don't think of myself as a fat guy per se, but I DO still SEE a fat guy when I look in the mirror sometimes. I can't lie. It irks me.

jethro56 

+1 on the booths. I wouldn't say I'm competitive but I'm much more outgoing and willing to speak to strangers in public. (small town). The loose skin around my waist is improving but I doubt I'll ever look good shirtless. The biggest gripe is the loose skin hanging down around my Tricepts. My arms have decent tone but the wrinkled skin means I hide them.

McCallum

First I have not read through all the posts in this thread but here are three from the first three pages that tripped my trigger!

Both of these will kill us as people changing our style of living. I finally figured it out; I do not get to go back to eating the way I did about two years ago. If I do I will die ealier than I should. At some point I watch skinny people eat; they ate what the wanted and ate as much as they wanted. The thing was they 1) did not eat what I, as a fat person, ate 2) they did not want as much as I wanted and 3) they left food on their plates at times. This leads to the next quote!

For me it is not always a favorite food kind of thing; if it is on my plate I eat it. I or someone filled my plate and I MUST eat it; after all there are starving children in upper-lower mezo- chinaoplois! I do wonder how many of us "clean plate clubers (aka CPC)" are also fat people. I look at my wife's siblings; all are CPC must at some point have been (or are) larger than chart. I look at those I know who grew up with the same age parents as I and my DW; we are larger people. My DW and I have had to make a choice to not make our son a CPC member; that little rat leaves food on his plate and can be full in a few bites!

That is when I realized I was losing; when one of my bosses gave me 42 inch pants to replace the 52 inch uniform pants I was wearing! Though I still will want to grab clothes at stores when they first come out; why? Because if I don't the clothes will not be there when I need them! I was about to do this and my wife looks at me as says "You don't have to do that now; you aren't a fat person. They have more than one of your size!

Mithrandir

Had a "fat guy mentality" moment today that reminded me of this thread.

Went grocery shopping; parked near the back of the lot like I usually do to get a good walk in. When I got back some ******nozzle in an SUV had parked insanely close to my car. My first thought was "GOD DAMNIT, I'M NEVER GOING TO FIT IN THERE!".

Then I decided to try it, and I got into my car just fine. I was still livid for a moment and considered deflating one of his tires. Then I decided to be happy about the fact that I squeezed through, figured I should "live and let live"; my inner cyclist would never take revenge on anyone. Drove off and went home.

McCallum

On the flip side of the whole fat mentality: have any of you who are formerly fat had the thought of doing something like walking a marathon or doing a 5 to 7 day cross state ride (for me it is the Bike accross Kansas). As I have gotten closer to my goal of 175# (183ish now) I keep having these crazy thin guy thoughts of doing one or both of the above! Now that is thin man mentality isn't it?

Mithrandir

Next year I want to do some light touring. At first I said I'd love to do a 3 week Buffalo->Albany->New York City->Philly->Washington DC ride.

Then I decided maybe that's a bit too ambitious. So then I decided I'd try a 2 week Buffalo->Albany->Boston tour.

Also decided that's too ambitious. I've settled on a 1 week Buffalo->Albany tour next year, averaging 50 miles a day. I have a long way to go before I'm in shape to do that however. Good thing I've got a year!!

I'm thinking maybe 2 years for Buffalo->Boston. We'll see. My original goal for this year was one half-century ride. 5 half centuries later (2 of them metric centuries) and I'm aiming for a full imperial century by October. Hope I can make it.

Marathons, however, are out of the question. Way too hard on my knees still. Can't go more than 4 miles without paying for it the next day.

Neil_B

I had to postpone my cross country trip because of knee trouble. But I hope to make it happen in 2012.