etalent

... and she told me that she is the belt that holds them up.

Actually, that's very true. She is (and has been for the past 16 years) the light of my life. By the way, her name, "Luz," means "light" in spanish.

My commute route will be just over 16 miles. Much of it will be on the decent shoulder of a 4 lane hwy. She is apparently worried. We get hurricanes here in the summer. Pesky things, those hurricanes.

To allay her fears, I wanted to show her my course personally, so she'll see that her fears are not so well-founded. I'm going to get kevlar banded tires, bright clothes, helmet, rain gear, lights, etc., a mirror, a cell phone, and a repair kit, including a chain tool and patch kit.

To female posters: what would reassure you that your husband would be safe on the open road alone with only his self-propelled two wheeler?

Any other ideas, anybody?

1oldRoadie

From a man that has been married for 35+ years....

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO REMOVE AN IRRATIONAL FEAR FROM A WOMAN. Live with it, say "yes dear" and do it any way...she will adjust.

And when you do get it by a hurricane that snooked up on you...she can say "I told you so".

DanFromDetroit

My wife had the same sort of concerns. She *insisted* that I wear "dog tags" around my neck when I started running and cycling on the roads. These are small metal plates that you wear that will tell the authorities who/where to call if I am unconscious or incapacitated.

This falls into the "time will tell" category. The longer you go without being maimed or killed, the more comfortable she will feel.

Safety devices seem to help a bit. I am the blinkingest, flashingest, reflectingest guy in our neighborhood. You can spot me from a half mile to a mile away. I was late coming home from work one day and my wife traced my route just by asking total strangers if they had seen a "blinking guy" ride past on a bike.

Dan

Raiyn

etalent - You've done what you can. The rest comes with time. After a while it will all be part of the routine, and she won't give it a second thought. For now, howevre, you're going to have to deal with a touch of paranoia.

The Dog Tag idea is a good one try doing a search here for them, as it's been discussed several times.

cyclezealot

My wife knows I am beyond control.. If I did not complete certain needed activities, I would be unbearable.. I might not argue, but I would be unbearable. we all have to make our choices.
With me, it is my boss who does not like it, but I do bike/commute. Boss' have more pull than wives??
Anyone seen the id tags that fit about the ankle. Those are visible.. I have a medical id tag within my helmets. All the pertinent information.. Little reflective tag on outside of helmet stating such. The company that makes these post its for within the helmet state medical authorities know of presence within the helmet.
As to hurricanes, a bike can outrun them. I once lived in Sarasota, Fla.. they would linger off the coast for hours, maybe days... With traffic backed 20 miles to get away from hurricnes, the bike might be the only way to get out of dodge. better get any extra bike for your wife in such an event...

RWTD

Hurricanes lol.I got hit by a waterspout last summer on a Keys tour and it was a refreshing change from the 100+ degree heat. I hear this all the time from women(actually its not just women but they are more prone to this must be their maternal instinct or something) commenting on how dangerous cycling is and they wouldn't think of riding on the road.I usually ignore it or comment good it keeps the crowds down.I find it is a waste of time trying to hold a rational conversation on this subject with noncyclists.Having said that road cycling can be dangerous particularly if you don't know what you are doing .So short of convincing her to ride the route your best bet is to convince her you know what you are doing and ride safely unlike the majority of cyclists.Actually IMO commuters and others who frequently ride on very congested roads are safer than most others for this very reason(ie they develop safe riding habit that others don't).FWIW one time I got an additional comment "at least your wearing an orange windbreaker"so the proper safety equiptment angle may help as well.

mrfix

For once, 1oldroadie and I agree, the fear will always be with her, just as 1oldroadie said, say yes dear, do it anyway and never ever call her for a ride home. Oh 1 more thing, if you're a commuter, you won't be wearing the pants, it will either be the tights or the shorts depending on the weather.

caloso

Etalent:

I've made it a habit to give my wife a quick ring when I get to work to let her know I've arrived safely, especially during fog season.

(PS: my grandmother's name was Luz. She burned bright....)

AndrewP

Stop when you are about 4 miles from home. Use your cell phone to tell her what the traffic has been like and that you will be back in 15 mins. This will give her time to be ready to get into the shower with you.

bentbaggerlen

My ex was not a much of a rider so I used to take off for all day rides by myself. I would leave just after sun up and get home sometime before dark. One really nice day I was out for a ride. A cyclist was hit and killed in the next town over. One of my Aunts saw this on the news, so she picks up the phone and calls my wife. "Was that your husband?" Well my wife at the time hasent got a clue if it was me or not, so she sat at home all day worried... After that she worried all the time when I would go out riding.

ZackJones

I normally ride with my wife, but when I don't I ride with a cell phone in my jersey pocket. Even though is is my quiet time to myself I do like having the cellphone with me in case of an emergency.

AndrewP: Good idea about the shower. I'll remember that one

Zack

ndbentrider

My wife of 27 years is finally ok w/ my commuting - all that was needed was a patient listing of the equipment and precations taken on the rides - day and night. Time has really been the key to her acceptance - I have not done myself serious injury and she knows it is good for me -in many ways

etalent

As a guy, this has got to be the winner:


As a husband, this response one wins:

ndbentrider, there's much to be said for 27 years! Wow! Wow! again! Tell me more!

Jean Beetham Smith 

I leave a map with all my most usual routes highlighted on top of the file cabinet. If I'm late, and my cell phone doesn't work, Dan sometimes starts driving the map. Mostly it comes down to my having to take responsibility for letting him know what is happening by calling him. Face it, our families have some justifiable fears, otherwise we wouldn't see so many anti-motorist rants on this forum. We can do the best we can to ride defensively, be consistent and obey the rules of the road, and be conspicuous; and it won't make one bit of difference if we meet a drunk driver. So to be considerate, take ID, cell phone, lots of LEDs, and call home often. Also take pictures and tell your family about what you love about riding so they can see that you don't do it to make them miserable.

Garlic

My wife and I have an agreement: I can buy any safety item I need as long as I use it and my common sense on the road.

RonH

My wife was as concerned as anyone would be when I started commuting.
She told me to buy whatever safety stuff I needed - lights, bright clothes, rain gear, etc.
One of the things that made her feel most comfortable was the Effective Cycling course I took. It was also one of the least expensive - $25.
Even though I had been riding for a few years I still learned several new things.

etalent

All of these responses are immensely heartening, each one more so than the next. I'm getting more out of all this than I ever could have hoped for, really. Your responses are so great. I'm really basing my thoughts on what I've found in these responses as I move forward in making my bike commute a reality. If everything works out right, the tax refund will be getting here in about a week, right about when I've gotten everything spec'd out and settled on.

I'm very, very much looking forward to continuing being a part of this board! I really can't say enough about it.

-Dave