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I need help- am I a Fred?

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I need help- am I a Fred?

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Old 02-17-09, 03:08 PM
  #1  
lshaped
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I need help- am I a Fred?

i just came to the conclusion that I might be a fred- how can I know for sure? is there anything i can
do to not be a Fred?
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Old 02-17-09, 03:09 PM
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dwilbur3
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If you have to ask, you're Fred for sure.
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Old 02-17-09, 03:11 PM
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Bionicycle
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Originally Posted by lshaped View Post
i just came to the conclusion that I might be a fred- how can I know for sure? is there anything i can
do to not be a Fred?
Why would you want to "not be a Fred"... Being a Fred rules...
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Old 02-17-09, 03:24 PM
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I am Fred, and So can You.
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Old 02-17-09, 03:29 PM
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woodway
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I am a Fred. And I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
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Old 02-17-09, 03:35 PM
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FightingPanther
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stop wearing pro team kit
grow a mustache
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Old 02-17-09, 04:15 PM
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What's wrong with being a Fred? You already ride a bike, people will say things regardless. :O
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Old 02-17-09, 04:15 PM
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You're Fred to somebody.
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Old 02-17-09, 04:19 PM
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mishmashmusic
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Embrace your inner Frediness, don't shun it.
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Old 02-17-09, 04:59 PM
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I'm not a Fred. I'm a retrogrouch. That's a Fred who reads the Riv Reader.
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Old 02-17-09, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Schwinnrider View Post
I'm not a Fred. I'm a retrogrouch. That's a Fred who reads the Riv Reader.
This is the camp I'd consider myself in as well. Downtube/barend shifting for life!
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Old 02-17-09, 07:40 PM
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Why wouldn't you want to be a Fred? Freds are the coolest of all the cyclists. We ride the coolest bikes, wear the coolest clothes, have the brightest lights, look the sexiest, and cause the most traffic jams. Sounds like a winning combo to me.
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Old 02-17-09, 08:04 PM
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Well, if you don't like being a fred, I gots my pocket knife here, we can make you a doris!
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Old 02-17-09, 08:13 PM
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You can be in great company.
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Old 02-17-09, 08:22 PM
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Face it! To someone out there, you're a Fred. This only matters, if you care. Whether you care or not, either way you're going to be a Fred. So, get over it. Go riding!
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Old 02-17-09, 08:24 PM
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Alfster 
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ride naked on a beater bike.
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Old 02-17-09, 08:27 PM
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The more we Fred together, together, together.
The more we Fred together the happier we'll be.
Cuz my Freds are your Freds and your Freds are my Freds...
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Old 02-17-09, 09:13 PM
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billew
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Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
ride naked on a beater bike.
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Old 02-17-09, 09:49 PM
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What was it that brought you to this conclusion, by the way? Perhaps divulging that could shed some light on your dilemma. Light makes little Fred cockroaches scurry for the comforting shelter of flannel shirts and cargo shorts.
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Old 02-17-09, 10:11 PM
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Question,

If you were a Fred who could out sprint Cavendish, out TT Indurain, and out GC Merckx , would you still be a Fred?

Or if this happened would all non Fred's seek to become Fred's.
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Old 02-17-09, 10:12 PM
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no motor?
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Originally Posted by lshaped View Post
i just came to the conclusion that I might be a fred- how can I know for sure? is there anything i can
do to not be a Fred?
Have Chipcom make you into a Doris. Suddenly being a Fred isn't so bad, is it?
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Old 02-17-09, 10:17 PM
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AEO
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embrace your inner fred.

there's no shame in having too many rear blinkies, being capt. dashboard, having a helmet mirror, or being covered head to toe in reflective safety colours.
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Old 02-17-09, 10:32 PM
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Hezz
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Originally Posted by lshaped View Post
i just came to the conclusion that I might be a fred- how can I know for sure? is there anything i can
do to not be a Fred?
Ya, if your willing to do all or most of the following.

No bike racks.
No more than 1 small headlamp and only if riding in the dark.
No headlight on helmet except in 12-24 hour off road bike race.
No casual clothes - Bike specific clothes only must be color coordinated.
No flapping clothes in the wind or loose clothes.
You must sacrifice comfort to lightness and aerodynamics.
Willing to be cold on the bike in cool weather to maintain that total road racer look.
No more than 1 small seat bag, only on training rides or commutes.
A small backpack or messenger bag may be allowable for a fast commute as long as it is reasonably light and form fitting.
700cc bike with drop bars only.
Chopped flat bars or bull horns OK if on a fixie set up like a track bike.
If you are on a fixie you can probably dress like a messenger without being a Fred if you know how.
Flat bar mountain bike on off road trails only.
no reflective tape all over bike or helmet.
small reflective accents OK on bike clothes if tastefully done. As in part of the manufacturer design.
Few or no reflectors on bike.
Clipless pedals and serious cycling shoes only.
Road helmet only on road bike, even in winter.
Thick winter hat under helmet is a big no-no. Must be form fitting and stealth looking.
If it's really cold you can't ride because you would have too dress I little like Fred.

This list is by no means conclusive, exclusive or all inclusive.

There are some who say that "Fred" is a state of mind and that the outer choices are only a reflection of the inner Fred. So only you can decide how much Fred you are going to be.

Last edited by Hezz; 02-17-09 at 10:53 PM.
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Old 02-17-09, 11:12 PM
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Square & Compas
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I'm surprised the resident fred hater has not chimed in here. To know if you're a fred just ask yourself do you fit the description as defined by wikipedia?
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Old 02-18-09, 08:17 AM
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lshaped
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perhaps i'm not a fred afterall-nothing i own is color coordinated and i don't wear cycling team gear to pretend i'm lance. i do however own a carbon bike.
people at work though do give me a hard time. especially when they see my bike parked in my office next to my filing cabinet. i've even had the air let out of tires. i think the ridicule is more a function of them feeling uncomfortable knowing that a 40 year old father of 2 with cystic fibrosis can pedal 40 miles back and forth to work while they can't seem to get off the couch and walk their dog for 10 minutes. thanks for the enlightenment. you're all right, who cares
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