"Black 2001 Saturn SC2. That’s the car I drive — and if you’re a bicyclist on the road but not in a bike path and you see my car, I hope you’re wearing a helmet, because I might run you over.

Maybe not intentionally.

But you see, with all these things I can do in my car nowadays, such as choose a different song on my iPod, send a text message while driving or fall asleep at the wheel because I had to wake up for a worthless 8 a.m. biology lab, I might not notice you.

And, considering you are where you should not be, I might hit you."


https://statenews.com/index.php/artic...ay_on_sidewalk

I guess any idiot can attend MSU and write for the MSU paper.

If the writer witnessed a terrible car accident, no doubt he would fume having
to wait while firemen cut the bloody victims out of the cars.

Worst sarcasm EVAR.

It sounded somewhat sarcastic, but if not he is a complete d-bag.

That was like something out of the Onion

If you’re Zack Colman driving your Saturn SC2 and you see me and my bike, I hope you have life insurance, because I might pull you out of your car and beat the living **** out of you.

Maybe not intentionally

or not.

I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be sarcastic, but you can never tell. My wife is sitting next to me and commented that here in Las Cruces that would have been a serious article, replete with agreeing opinions. It's sad that anything like that would be said, even in jest.

Adam

That wasn't sarcasm; it was just stupidity. From the comments, "Zack Colman" has a history of idiotic editorials.

total FAIL on using an example of him right hooking a bicyclist (breaking the law) for reason to change the law.

lol well some one had to say it.... they're all thinking it!! but jeez all the campus riders sound like they are going to beat him up. and actually where i go to school most of the time people are pretty nice. As long as I follow the rules of the road (stop at stoplights/signs, etc.) they seem to respect me just fine. Just the occasional issue usually just caused by a confusing driving circumstance. Maybe this guy was drunk when he wrote this or something lol but i am not that mad at him it was kindof funny

These commentors have a good understanding of humor

''(from)Greg Lemond
04/09/09 @ 7:21pm
Embarrassing! For the University, the students who attend, and the entire state. Thankfully, most educated people know such ignorance is not representative of reality or the rest of the student population. Enjoy the blowback…"


Followed by;


"(from)Lance Armstrong
04/09/09 @ 7:27pm
I want to be Sheldon Brown"!

This is why the phrase "jury of your peers" is so scary.

Satire is hard if you aren't funny.

Hey... let's post this over in A&S... they don't have a sense of humor over there.

Especially when applauding the demise of vermin that harrass the handicaped people in a neighborhood.

I don't think I want to know.

lol
ghost write the bike:

Drivers need to learn how to drive!
by Jack "The Ripper Gonzo" Gonzalez



Univega Arrow Speed, IRO Mark V, Cervelo Dual, GT Ricochet Xtracycle, Electra Cruiser. Those are the bikes i ride — and if you’re a driver on the road but don't know how to drive and you see me and my bike, I hope you have life insurance , because I might drag you out of your car and beat the living crap out of you.

Maybe not intentionally.

But you see, with all these things I can do with my bikes nowadays, such as arrive to my destination faster or easier than a car, or hauling a bag of groceries, 200 lbs of gardening supplies or a friend because I am trying to maintain a carbon-less, greener future, I might, more often, notice you driving like an idiot.

And, considering you are where you should not be, I might verbally assault you.

The simple fact of the matter is, California has so kindly provided the California Vehicle Code (C.V.C.) for all of us to follow, and the C.V.C. should be revised to remove your cars from the street. The City of Los Angeles has provided marked lanes, bike paths, and signals. But drivers can't just ignore the laws or imagine that isn't a bicyclist right in front of them!

I can ride my bike in the street just like you, so why must you force me off the road with your car?

Many of my friends drive cars, so I’m not trying to berate a whole demographic of people. I appreciate drivers who exploit our natural resources, since they are just making me look better, in comparison, pedaling around town.

I respect drivers who use cars as a form of longer range carpool transportation, since it's responsible to reserve the use of a car for something other than just 1-5 miles trips.

But for as much as I respect and appreciate drivers, I will not hesitate to scream bloody murder at them when they are interfering with public safety and the flow of traffic.

My concern is not merely about inconvenience.

Cars on the road are a hazard to pedestrians, cyclists and other cars, since many drivers make turns without using signals and drive too close to cyclists and other vehicles when there is no designated bike path.

For example, I was riding to work Tuesday when a driver pulled up next to me in the left hand lane. There is no bike path at this portion of the road, and I take the right lane to proceed ahead as i pass the cars turning on my left and turning on my right up ahead.

Instead of waiting till i passed, one of the cars on my left (a black Saturn SC2) decided to cut me off all of a sudden. I had to lock into a skid and veer away from the fast-approaching rear end of the car in front of me, just barely threading myself through 5 tons of moving steel to avoid flipping myself over the trunk of the Saturn and going through it's rear window.

Some will say I could be more aware on the road.

But roads are for cars and bicyclists, not just cars. The car should have not cut me off like that! (its called a right hook, unsafe distance and failure to yield, three violations earning an additional, reckless driving charge!)

It’s possible some drivers are trying to live out their dreams of being Dale Earnhardt, and the smooth terrain offered by the roads where men, women and children travel is more desirable than the nearest NASCAR track.

I get it, drivers — you’re in the Daytona 500. Well, in your head at least.

But in reality, my highly affordable, zero-carbon footprint-leaving bike is trying to get around you, the driver. And you, the driver, prefer to rev up that engine, not in your lane but in mine.

Maybe in your head you are actually riding a bike. Maybe that's why you weave all over the road, drive on the sidewalk and blow red lights.

And maybe you are Earnhardt, so talented and successful and able to steer so, so fast. But Earnhardt's average speed in the 1998 Daytona 500 was 172 mph, which is 137 mph more than most of the speed limits in and around Los Angeles.

Plus, I’ve had difficulty finding drivers who can actually handle a car going that fast anyways.

It’s common for cyclists to ride at least 10 mph below the speed limit, which makes your task to out-drive Dale Earnhardt all the more daunting. And considering you’re not actually Earnhardt (even if you do drive a stock car), you likely are not going 100 mph.

And, oh yeah, Earnhardt was competing when he is driving — your madcap drive through the city might not even register on a police radar.

But, hey, snap out of it. You’re not Dale Earnhardt.

And that is the light of my NiteRider Mini Newt bearing down on you.


Jack Gonzalez is this blog's primary opinion ghost writing widget.
He enjoys eating pineapple and dropping wheelies onto preppie fratboys heads.
He can be reached at jeremygrant.com

^ Now that was good satire.

Yeah, that whole situation was just HILARIOUS!

I don't frequent the A&S forum very often... what the heck are you guys referring to? I'm lost here...

a guy was robbing a person in a wheelchair and knocked him over, then a cyclist seeing this punched the robber but accidentally killed him.

Which has nothing to do with this thread, yet someone felt the need to bring it up.

(And yes, shame on me for responding.)

Here's the thread in question: https://www.bikeforums.net/advocacy-safety/522438-tough-guy.html

that's what happens when you remove religious iconography from your municipal flag