Then I have 14 months of moping. I think I will divide that by 3 or 4.... that is unless I can extend it backwards since I have known this is coming.

I got divorced in the early 90's. At the time I thought I was going to die.

Fast forward 15 years or so and I realize it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

John

Sorry to hear about that mate.

Hey, you're always allowed to cut it short. In fact, you get bonus points in life if you can do so.

Thanks

The main thing I am having issues with is when my 5 year old son is with his mom for her 50%. I miss the bugger like crazy. I hope I get used to this soon.
After all this is only the first week. ugh

Not a girlfriend ... but a crazy boss. Nice guy boss left, to be replaced by Boss Nutbar.

I took it out on my bike. Lost 20 pounds through the exercise, and kept my sanity.

Eventually left and got a better job -- it all works out if you just ride your bike!

Sorry to hear that you two. I got divorced after 14 years of marriage and a year of living together, and it really sucked even though it was for the better and we had the easiest divorce I've heard of. But it does get better, and riding would have helped me cope with things then if I could have.

I ride to my girlfriends for the weekend when I can, and look forward to the commute regardless of how well things are going between us. It seems to help no matter how things are going, even on the rare occasion when we get to ride together. I hope things work out for you both.

So how often does a bike obsession contribute to failed relationships ?

Probably a better question for the roadie forum.

Ten-ish years ago this was my story. What she took wasn't a surprise though. I told her to take whatever she wanted, just to get out. She did. I figured I could replace anything I needed, but I couldn't keep living my life like I was. That woman was sucking the life out of me.

Now I have a great wife, and we had a son together, and that little bugger is just starting to really like going out and riding. He is quickly becoming my regular biking buddy, though he can't muster more than a few miles so far at a very slow pace, but that will improve. It won't be long and I won't be able to keep up with him

I like the ride too much to burden it with relationships...sorta.

The ride itself is fun. In a way, riding makes everything fun. If I drive to Home Depot to pick up some stuff, that's a chore. But going to Home Depot on my bike is fun. It's odd, because I always had a bike as a kid and never saw it like that before.

I'm into vintage bikes, and I have a '52 JC Higgins woman's Jet Flow with a wickedly cool beehive springer and a sweetheart skiptooth chain for a woman friend to ride alongside my men's JC Higgins. But if nothing else works out between me & her, who ever she may be, I'll always remember the fun of the ride, rather than riding to forget her.

Then again, I'll always have the '52 JC Higgins woman's Jet Flow....

Next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW! YES!!! for me riding makes the pain, fear and insecurity maybe not fun, but I feel that I'm ALIVE!!! and that is a wonderful feeling :')

Smart man.
I have a brother who runs from one bad relationship to the next. He never allows time to find out who he is. He's on his third long term disaster.

Enjoy it until he gets his license. Then you will have a break of about 10 years.

A bike won't get a restraining order?

And that's the critical part!

Wow. I've been with mine 19 years. How do you all get rid of them?

It's what my father does. One relationship fails, and he figures that he doesn't want to be alone so he jumps right into the next one. He then becomes obsessed with the new one, until that too fails. My mother and I refer to it as his flavor of the month club.

Meanwhile, his life is a total disaster, his house is a wreck, and the man has more on his plate than any ten people ought to. I think it's imperative to take time alone to really figure out 1)who you are, 2)where you are, 3)why you are where you are, 4)where you want to be, and 5)how to get there.

If my father figured out those five steps, he;d be a much happier man. Instead, he is lonely and I feel terrible for him.
My mother, on the other hand, took 3 years off after my parents got divorced. She's had two relationships (that I know of). One was good. The new one, is amazing. She's found herself a great guy, who really has his ***** together. they are still happy after two years.

Yikes, maybe we should start a support group. Or maybe just prizes for phone numbers and dates. I had a conversation with a new pretty woman on Saturday! Did I ask for her # ... no ... YOU IDIOT!

Riding is great. Riding allowed me the clarity of mind to realize it was time to end a 4 year relationship, and it also helped me understand that I made the right choice when I had those moments of doubt after we broke up. I made a deal with myself that if something is on my mind a lot that I put it out of my mind until my next ride. Inevitably I completely forget about it and when I'm done riding the answer to the problem is clear as day. Riding makes the good days great and the bad days not as bad as they would be without riding. Now get out there and ride, ride, ride!!

Sorry to hear about your relationship. It hurts I know. But it will pass and time heals all.

I have always used exercise, specifically cycling and running, to help with things like this. They tend to give us a sense of control when everything else feels out of control. Hang in there!

add another to this rather large boat. last week my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me... my miles per week have since tripled =/. ahh man i totally know what u mean.. u know somehow riding my bike can just help when nothing else can. i found a new route on some country roads it is nice

This is how I got into cycling. Got my heart broken, moped around for way too long till a friend of mine convinced me to train for an upcoming ms150. Biking didn't cure me of my broken heart but it sure did help with getting my mind off things. Now I have a new girlfriend and a hobby to last me a lifetime!

I wouldn't do it. Because if you crashed and totalled your ride you'd be in a worse position. I think you would end up like that guy that's always at the bar in the Simpsons. What's his name? Moe?

Isn't it interesting though that when you're going through it you wonder how you'll ever get through it, then a bit more time passes and another fantastic woman (or guy if you're on the flip side) comes along and you look back on it as another of life’s lessons learned.

I recall talking with the woman that took me through hell many many moons earlier and after talking with her I realized how amazingly lucky I was that it didn't work out; God works in mysterious ways.

I've realized that we sometimes get caught up in what we think is best for us and lose sight of what’s truly best for us. We sometimes convince ourselves that a certain person is THE ONE eventhough we know in the back of your mind that something is just not right.

I say get out of the house and ride ride ride; and everytime you get those thoughts of her/him, take a deep breath, push down on your pedals and leave those feelings behind.

I used my bike as stress relief and an emotional vent (channelling rage/anger into my riding effort) a huge deal last year, and still do on occasion when things crop up.

It works very nicely. Good luck with everything!

This x1000. I've learned that of all the things that let me down/screw me up, my bike is still there to help me out at the end of it all.

I love my bike very dearly.