I can't say I like the term "commuter bike" at all. It implies that there's a certain type of bike that should be used for commuting. The best bike for a given commute and commuter could be anything from a folder, to a mountain bike, to a cross bike, or a dutch style bike. And sure, maybe even a hybrid

If only you could make this fold and put a huge basket between the rider and the front wheel:



That would be a commuter bike!

Ahh.... some folks drive their Porsche 911 to work every day. So is it a sports car or commuter? who cares. It's one friggin' fast commuter to me one way or other. A Trek Madone can be a commuter too. So is a DH mtb.

Of course the labels are important to the manufacturers - they're how their marketing departments mislead the unwashed masses into purchasing new overpriced and often inappropriate "lifestyle" bikes of some sort. The vague labels themselves have no definition other than whatever the marketroids and fashionistas want to pump at any given time.

Incorrect. The vague labels only maintain the definitions the marketroids give them if those definitions are accepted by the masses. Of course, they usually are accepted by the masses, but there is at least a theoretical possibility that the masses, or possibly even a small but dedicated subset of the masses, can resist and impose their own labels and definitions, thus forcing the marketroids to play by new rules.

Consider what happened with liberals and conservatives over the last few decades. Conservatives came up with terms to define issues the way they wanted them to be perceived (for example, "death tax"). Liberals mostly rolled their eyes and said, "Call it what you want, here's what's wrong with getting rid of the 'death tax.'" The general public said, "Uhh...umm...death tax sounds like a bad thing. I think I'm against it." And the conservatives got what they wanted. Eventually the liberals started figuring this out, stopped rolling their eyes, started playing the game and stopped losing with such consistency.

Refer to my citation in post 8 as necessary.

Where does a cyclocross bike fit in?

Let's see, I bought a Jamis 'city bike' in 1985; it was a 'mountain bike' (26" wheels, MTB triple, thumbshifters, canti's) but with fenders, rear rack and street tread radial ply tires. Started hearing of 'hybrids' a little later in the 80's. They were defined as 'skinny tired mountain bikes' or as 'flat bar road bikes'. Bought a Cannondale hybrid in 1993 - it was not a 'comfort bike'. I used both the Jamis and C-dale to ride to work on, so they were 'commuters'. I was a 'commuter'.

My current 'commuter' is a RANS recumbent. It's a great 'commuter'. I ride it on the road, too, but I won't call it a 'road bike'.

I sometimes get passed by people who commute on carbon fiber road bikes. It wouldn't be my first choice, what with all the level crossings and frost cracked pavement I have to go over, but it works for them. I'm guessing they're triathletes or bike racers who use their commutes to squeeze in extra training.

You left out the "Angry City Bike" category Not my words, I stole them from a review. All black and the marketing plays up the urban warrior thing, i.e. Novara Buzz and Cannondale Bad Boy

There are no stupid questions, but there are inquisitive idiots.

That being said, I do not think that the OP is an inquisitive idiot. At least I am not convinced of it yet.

There's a nice little section on what people like in a commuter bike in the commuter section here: https://www.biketoledo.net