G4teamG

OK, I know this quite doesn't fit in this forum but I'll ask anyways. A few months back I took up riding much to the laughter of my family. Wanted to lose a few pounds so I thought this was the way to go. Started at 230 and now I'm at 210. Now the jokes are getting to be less common. Here's the kicker. My wife wants to buy a bike so we BOTH can go riding. Honestly, this didn't sound like a bad thing at first but this has got me thinking. When I go riding, it's almost like my escape from the rest of humanity, so to speak. Yeah, I know, till death do us part, but I can't help but be al little hesitant about this. Need help guys, I'm running out of excuses. I'm not a bad guy, just want to enjoy the ride and hear about how cold the mornings are, how hard the hills are, I'm tired, lets go home now, etc. I think you get my drift. Anyways, just want to keep the peace. Any suggestions appreciated.

MsMittens

Have you approached her to tell her that is part of why you ride? And perhaps suggest days when riding together is ok and times when it's not? I tend to ride often on my own without my SO because my style is different but we do put times together for both of us. He does know that I ride for both weight loss as well as stress relief.

Communication, IMO, is the key to a successful relationship.

madhouse

It's probably just a phase. If not... can you say "Tandem"

BeTheChange

How good of shape is your wife in? I got my girlfriend a bike a few months back and she only rides to school. We can't go on rides together yet because I'm in much better condition than she is for riding. So, the way I see it, she won't be able to keep up with you for a few months, but if she loves it enough she'll go on her own or you 2 can meet somewhere 10 miles off or 5 miles or whatever. Pretty much if she likes it enough and rides enough at some point she'll be able to keep up. So I say let her get a bike, but make sure she understands that you 2 won't be able to ride together all the time untill she is in better condition (very touchy subject with women so be careful). Just my $.02

emilymildew

"It's probably just a phase"?

What on earth does THAT mean? Who's to say that she won't really enjoy it and want to ride by herself? She might just need some time riding with you to build up her confidence and knowledge of what she is able to do, and then she might leave you alone.

I'd say tell her, man. Tell her that you love her but that cycling is your escape. Tell her you'd love to plan once a week (or as often as you would be able to handle reasonably) rides with her but you can't make it a daily thing because that's what keeps you sane.

I mean, telling her the truth about why you are hesitant makes the most sense, doesn't it?

BeTheChange: Why can't you slow down to go on rides with your girlfriend? My boyfriend can probably drop me despite my 12+ daily miles commuting because he was stronger to begin with and I'm still getting there, but when we go on rides together he loops around or just takes it easy to stay with me. I can see that that would be annoying to do ALL the time, but sometimes just to do just to be with her? What's wrong with that?

super-douper

give her a chance, she might surprise you! Who knows, it may become something that you both enjoy together.

I enjoy riding by myself also. I find that I get a much better workout by myself but that doesn't stop me from riding with my friends. They drive to the trailhead and I ride there. The trailhead is at the top of a big hill, so I get a good workout heading up there. I also commute every day. This allows me to get a few more miles in on days that I ride with my buddies. Riding with friends is a different kind of fun than riding alone and I like both kinds.

alanbikehouston

I ride with several people one night a week. The group goes the speed of the slowest person, and stops whenever someone is hungry, thirsty, or wants a bathroom break. So, we are socializing more than riding. The social part is really more the point than the riding.


Saturday mornings I often go for rides by myself, and get to go my speed, not stop as often, and not have to socialize. So, you and your wife can have both kinds of rides. Ride together sometimes for company. When you take your 5 a.m. Saturday ride, she will say "I think I'll sleep a little longer". And you get to ride alone.

super-douper

be very careful of how and when you decide to tell her this. She might take it the wrong way and say "You need to escape from me?!?!"

I'd just ride with her, at first she probably won't be doing very many miles....suck it up, let her draft if it's windy and when she's finished, take off on your own ride. after a coupla months she'll either lose interest or will be in better shape and it'll be easier for her to keep up. Just remember to keep telling her that she's doing better than you did when you first started.

NutzCrazy

Yeah, man, let her ride! Look at it this way, you'll have a wife in better shape with a nice pair of legs after a while. Shoot, my wife's bike is more expensive than all our cars and I ride the crap out of my $250 relic. Her bike sure looks purty on the wall!

sbhikes

My BF bought a bike so we could ride to work together (we work at the same place.) Didn't last long, though.

He couldn't (can't) keep up with me anyway.

Stacy

Maybe it is a phase but why not let her explore it? For all you know she might wind up leaving you in the dust


Stacy

AndrewP

Make sure her bike is more expensive than yours.

bkbroil

I hear your pain! I ride every morning at 7:00am and that is my getaway (my escape) ... I never even thought about if my wife wanted to join me....but after reading your post, I thought "What would I do?" ... I would buy her a GREAT bike....because if she did get into it...that would mean I could have (almost) free reign to buy all the bicycle things I wanted.....but......I also know that she would never get up at 7:00am to ride....(besides, I have two small children and someone has to stay home) ...... So...I would definetly make time to ride with her (getting a relative to watch the kids) and I would continue doing my solo rides at 7:00am.....That would be the best of everything.... Plus, make sure you buy things that you can use if she decides to slack off until the weather is warmer...


BTW....I just remembered (I can't believe I forgot this) this same scenario happened to me about 15 years ago when I started commuting on my bike....my girlfriend at the time wanted a bike to ride with me....So we got her a nice Mountain bike and she became friendly with the LBS owner....She only went on a couple of times, but she saw how much I loved it....and that christmas I was shocked with a brand new Cannondale R400 from her. It turns out that she went back to the bicycle shop and asked the owner what would be a good gift and he told her that I used to come in weekly and stare at that very same Cannondale R400... Believe it or not, but that is still the same bike that I ride today... So I guess the moral of the story is.....Keep her happy because it may turn into something that will last you a lifetime. (In my case, the bike lasted, the girlfriend didn't....)

vrkelley

Adding to EmiliyMildew...Agreed frig'n tell her but don't limit her. Caring 4 2 little kids is exhausting. Give her a little credit for "venturing out" + actually wanting to be 'happen'n'. I'd give both cleats to have my spouse ride with me even 15mins.

And as long as there's the what's in it for me?, it's probably not going to turn out very well. How about giving without "strings attached" for a change?

HiYoSilver

Why not do both? Get her a bike so you both are in better shape. For solitary rides, just commute to work.

tulip

Ever thought SHE might need an escape? Encourage her to ride, and do it together and separately. Sounds like you fear "nagging". This probably runs deeper than the bike thing. Better address it one of these days. Just think, if she's riding, she's feeling better about herself, she's stronger--what's there to fear?

BenyBen

Damn, I've been trying to get my gf to ride for a long time, because it is very much part of my life, and I'd love to share that with her. You're lucky!!!

Think about the benefits to her, as others have said she might need the escape as well... Besides, if she gets in better shape, it will benefit you anyways.

Don't be selfish, share the benefits of riding with her. Maybe in a couple of months you will both have something to share, that give you both an escape.

STEEKER

You are sooooo lucky to have a lady thats wants to ride with you I am still looking for one ,, perhaps you can find another escape ,, Biking toghter will bring you closer ,, biking is a wonderful thing best shared best explored with someon else ...Steeker

Jessica

And if you buy a bike, and she doesn't use it, you have a nice spare...

I ride with my very slow partner, proud the whole time that she is willing to try. I ride behind her, so she does not feel rushed, reminding her to gear down and not work so hard. Maybe it is easier to ride faster, but it is not more rewarding...