Wife does not understand
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Wife does not understand
This morning my wife called me at work and asked why I rode to work today -- I've been feeling a little under the weather. Last night I gave her $9.00 as her allowance for the next 1.5 weeks (gas & groceries..yeah, things are tight). My old van has two gallons of gas in it. She is getting worried that I am going to get hit and is trying to talk me out of commuting by bike during the winter months, even though I have been commuting for over ten years.
We do our budget together. You would think she would have figured out that we don't put money in our budget for me to buy gas for my old van!
We do our budget together. You would think she would have figured out that we don't put money in our budget for me to buy gas for my old van!
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Try to be calm and rational when discussing why you are riding--she is probably worried about you (gee she married you!). Give her all the safe things you do when you ride. If she doesn't ride, maybe drive your route and show her where you ride and the decisions you make to bike safe. List the health benefits (how that can save money and make you a better husband ) . Explain the money thing (I can relate to *that*). Heck, use your charm
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Originally Posted by Mueslix
Allowance?
She knows my route -- it's been the basically the same, with a few variations, for the last ten years. Monday I had a flat and she put the kids in the family van to go out and look for me. It's nice to be loved.
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Originally Posted by Tree Trunk
This morning my wife called me at work and asked why I rode to work today -- I've been feeling a little under the weather. Last night I gave her $9.00 as her allowance for the next 1.5 weeks (gas & groceries..yeah, things are tight). My old van has two gallons of gas in it. She is getting worried that I am going to get hit and is trying to talk me out of commuting by bike during the winter months, even though I have been commuting for over ten years.
We do our budget together. You would think she would have figured out that we don't put money in our budget for me to buy gas for my old van!
We do our budget together. You would think she would have figured out that we don't put money in our budget for me to buy gas for my old van!
for your safety during the winter when drivers really don't
expect to see bicycles on the road. That said this is NOT
the time to play He-man and discount her honest concern. It
would be disrepectful to her if you did.
Since you say money is tight your use of bicycle makes darn
good sense to hold cost down. One thing I did to shooth my
wife was invest in a lime green hi-vis safety vest to wear
when I ride. These can be had for under $20 and can be adpted
to wear with a coat by adding an 8" piece of velco to allow
for the vest to expand to fit over a coat. (sew one end/each
side then adjust to fit. ) These vest are the same as construction
workers wear and they WORK GREAT for keeping cars at bay.
Buy the vest then tell your wife you did it because she cares
about you. (Yes, tell her this as when times are tight it's
better to pull togther than fuss at each other)
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If I was in your position, I'd tell my wife I bike commute because I enjoy it.
And if I didn't really enjoy it but had to do it solely out of necessity, well, tell I'd still tell her I enjoyed it.
But that's me, and that's how I handle things like that. I don't want loved ones worrying about or dwelling on my sacrifices.
And if I didn't really enjoy it but had to do it solely out of necessity, well, tell I'd still tell her I enjoyed it.
But that's me, and that's how I handle things like that. I don't want loved ones worrying about or dwelling on my sacrifices.
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Adding to the other good advice...she genuinely cares for you. That says alot! Maybe Santa can bring one of those hi-vis vists...These run about $6 plus postage
https://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/cta...temnumber=3604.
With 2 kids and messy mid-west weather it may not be reailistic for her escort the kids via bike to wherever they need to go. The kids themselves might be wiping out on ice etc.
https://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/cta...temnumber=3604.
With 2 kids and messy mid-west weather it may not be reailistic for her escort the kids via bike to wherever they need to go. The kids themselves might be wiping out on ice etc.
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Originally Posted by Corsaire
Women can't sometimes understand the way of the warrior....
Corsaire
Corsaire
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Originally Posted by Rowan
Yeah, I like the allowance bit, too. Thought you'd pick up on that one, Becca.
Perhaps I need an allowance, do a budget, all that. Then I would not be broke all the time!
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Perhaps I need an allowance, do a budget, all that. Then I would not be broke all the time!
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Perhaps I need an allowance, do a budget, all that. Then I would not be broke all the time!
I am the evil mother of all spending around our house. Several years ago, both my husband and I decide to put me on a cash only basis for household expenses--this means food, dog/cat/chicken food, house-hold cleaning stuff, detergents for washing clothes, soap, shampoo, movie rentals . . .
I have learned alot. I have learned to milk the budget for every penny. I have learned to separate money out for 2 weeks worth of dog food, chicken food, people food, milk, gasoline, movie rentals, husband's gas money (his "allowance" back from me!), prescriptions, and even an occaisional trip to the movies (4 Buck matinee). I have learned to be frugal and careful with the money I have.
I have also learned that you can save quite a bit with a budget. You can pay cash for a new roof and a new patio and slab, plus a four foot retaining wall between two properties (a major expence, considering the anal retentive building code we have here).
But most of all I have learned that budges really, really SUCK!
This is why I am trying to win the lottery--in my name only. . .
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Originally Posted by foehn
Talk about budgets!
I am the evil mother of all spending around our house. Several years ago, both my husband and I decide to put me on a cash only basis for household expenses--this means food, dog/cat/chicken food, house-hold cleaning stuff, detergents for washing clothes, soap, shampoo, movie rentals . . .
I have learned alot. I have learned to milk the budget for every penny. I have learned to separate money out for 2 weeks worth of dog food, chicken food, people food, milk, gasoline, movie rentals, husband's gas money (his "allowance" back from me!), prescriptions, and even an occaisional trip to the movies (4 Buck matinee). I have learned to be frugal and careful with the money I have.
I have also learned that you can save quite a bit with a budget. You can pay cash for a new roof and a new patio and slab, plus a four foot retaining wall between two properties (a major expence, considering the anal retentive building code we have here).
But most of all I have learned that budges really, really SUCK!
This is why I am trying to win the lottery--in my name only. . .
I am the evil mother of all spending around our house. Several years ago, both my husband and I decide to put me on a cash only basis for household expenses--this means food, dog/cat/chicken food, house-hold cleaning stuff, detergents for washing clothes, soap, shampoo, movie rentals . . .
I have learned alot. I have learned to milk the budget for every penny. I have learned to separate money out for 2 weeks worth of dog food, chicken food, people food, milk, gasoline, movie rentals, husband's gas money (his "allowance" back from me!), prescriptions, and even an occaisional trip to the movies (4 Buck matinee). I have learned to be frugal and careful with the money I have.
I have also learned that you can save quite a bit with a budget. You can pay cash for a new roof and a new patio and slab, plus a four foot retaining wall between two properties (a major expence, considering the anal retentive building code we have here).
But most of all I have learned that budges really, really SUCK!
This is why I am trying to win the lottery--in my name only. . .
Next budget goal is that sweeeeeet ride I saw at the local Trek/Klein/Lemond dealer recently....(yeah, right, uh-huh)
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Last night I gave her $9.00 as her allowance for the next 1.5 weeks (gas & groceries..yeah, things are tight). My old van has two gallons of gas in it.
There is a guy on the radio that you should consider listening to if you can pick him up. His name is Dave Ramsey and he is sweeping the country by storm. He is helping a lot of people deal with their financial troubles for free. Just tune into your radio or listen online. daveramsey.com
Last edited by Portis; 12-09-04 at 12:06 PM.
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The vest suggestions make a whole lot of sense, by the way. Thanks!
Those of you *AHEM* who are screaming "sexist" because of the use of the word "allowance", I must clarify that the "allowance" includes any money for myself. If I want to buy a candy bar or a gadget for my bike, I have to ask Miriam for the money. How's that for an allowance?
Those of you *AHEM* who are screaming "sexist" because of the use of the word "allowance", I must clarify that the "allowance" includes any money for myself. If I want to buy a candy bar or a gadget for my bike, I have to ask Miriam for the money. How's that for an allowance?
#19
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Originally Posted by Tree Trunk
The vest suggestions make a whole lot of sense, by the way. Thanks!
Those of you *AHEM* who are screaming "sexist" because of the use of the word "allowance", I must clarify that the "allowance" includes any money for myself. If I want to buy a candy bar or a gadget for my bike, I have to ask Miriam for the money. How's that for an allowance?
Those of you *AHEM* who are screaming "sexist" because of the use of the word "allowance", I must clarify that the "allowance" includes any money for myself. If I want to buy a candy bar or a gadget for my bike, I have to ask Miriam for the money. How's that for an allowance?
I knew people who used to walk around with a dollar in their pocket waiting til
their next paycheck....swore that would never be me
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Originally Posted by Tree Trunk
You just described Miriam and I to the tee, . . .(note -- my wonderful wife let go of the mad money she gets to keep from her babysitting, lunchroom monitoring, and guitar lesson teaching income. We got the Christmas tree last night.)
Next budget goal is that sweeeeeet ride I saw at the local Trek/Klein/Lemond dealer recently....(yeah, right, uh-huh)
Next budget goal is that sweeeeeet ride I saw at the local Trek/Klein/Lemond dealer recently....(yeah, right, uh-huh)
We are trying to invest and save for our retirement years and we keep up stuff around the house, maintenance on the cars, fluorescent bulbs everwhere we can, college for the kids should they want it, etc., but budgets still suck.
You can still budget to save for that bike, but be aware that it may be a long-term goal--a very long term.
Good luck!
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Originally Posted by Ranger
With all due respect you have a problem if you only have $9.00 to last 1.5 weeks. It appears that you are both earning income. (which i gather you are from your posts) You have overspent somewhere. You either need to take in more money or cut out some expenses.
Enough about my income. Excuse me for allowing myself to focus on that. Carry on!!
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Originally Posted by Tightwad
It's not that your wife does not understand as she's worried
for your safety during the winter when drivers really don't
expect to see bicycles on the road. That said this is NOT
the time to play He-man and discount her honest concern. It
would be disrepectful to her if you did.
for your safety during the winter when drivers really don't
expect to see bicycles on the road. That said this is NOT
the time to play He-man and discount her honest concern. It
would be disrepectful to her if you did.
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Perhaps I need an allowance, do a budget, all that. Then I would not be broke all the time!
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Originally Posted by foehn
Talk about budgets!
I am the evil mother of all spending around our house. Several years ago, both my husband and I decide to put me on a cash only basis for household expenses--this means food, dog/cat/chicken food, house-hold cleaning stuff, detergents for washing clothes, soap, shampoo, movie rentals . . .
I have learned alot. I have learned to milk the budget for every penny. I have learned to separate money out for 2 weeks worth of dog food, chicken food, people food, milk, gasoline, movie rentals, husband's gas money (his "allowance" back from me!), prescriptions, and even an occaisional trip to the movies (4 Buck matinee). I have learned to be frugal and careful with the money I have.
I have also learned that you can save quite a bit with a budget. You can pay cash for a new roof and a new patio and slab, plus a four foot retaining wall between two properties (a major expence, considering the anal retentive building code we have here).
But most of all I have learned that budges really, really SUCK!
This is why I am trying to win the lottery--in my name only. . .
I am the evil mother of all spending around our house. Several years ago, both my husband and I decide to put me on a cash only basis for household expenses--this means food, dog/cat/chicken food, house-hold cleaning stuff, detergents for washing clothes, soap, shampoo, movie rentals . . .
I have learned alot. I have learned to milk the budget for every penny. I have learned to separate money out for 2 weeks worth of dog food, chicken food, people food, milk, gasoline, movie rentals, husband's gas money (his "allowance" back from me!), prescriptions, and even an occaisional trip to the movies (4 Buck matinee). I have learned to be frugal and careful with the money I have.
I have also learned that you can save quite a bit with a budget. You can pay cash for a new roof and a new patio and slab, plus a four foot retaining wall between two properties (a major expence, considering the anal retentive building code we have here).
But most of all I have learned that budges really, really SUCK!
This is why I am trying to win the lottery--in my name only. . .
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Originally Posted by Ranger
With all due respect you have a problem if you only have $9.00 to last 1.5 weeks. It appears that you are both earning income. (which i gather you are from your posts) You have overspent somewhere. You either need to take in more money or cut out some expenses.
There is a guy on the radio that you should consider listening to if you can pick him up. His name is Dave Ramsey and he is sweeping the country by storm. He is helping a lot of people deal with their financial troubles for free. Just tune into your radio or listen online. daveramsey.com
There is a guy on the radio that you should consider listening to if you can pick him up. His name is Dave Ramsey and he is sweeping the country by storm. He is helping a lot of people deal with their financial troubles for free. Just tune into your radio or listen online. daveramsey.com