This is BRILLIANT. I commend your creativity. One of the most entertaining posts I've seen on any forum in a long time. I literally laughed out loud (and such is not really characteristic of my personality)...(and yes I mean I do know that literally does not mean "practically" as it has come to thanks to a variety of social network mediums populated by...well...screw it...I don't feel like going there)

Awesome idea. I'm a PlayStation gamer, can I call them Trophies instead?

I have these:

Free Spirit, Diaper-legs, Flyin', Rocketman, Show-off, Sprinter, Hardened (I got my Hardened trophy while going for my Sprinter trophy), Rainman, Frosty, Desert Fox, Iron legs (not commuting - this was due to weekend rides), Pwnage, Boy Scout, Gear-Head, Haters Gonna Hate, Oooo Shiney!!!, N+1, Triple Lutz, Spinnaker, Double Whammy, Follow the White Rabbit.

I'll never get the Platinum trophy 'cuz I'll never pass a gator in this climate! Change that to porcupine or badger, and I might have a shot.

I'll add a few:

• Wooden Clogs: You forget to pack your work shoes, and have to spend the day in your cycling shoes.
  
• Red Light Rodeo: Your rear blinky flies off of your bike. You turn around and grab the blinky before if gets run over by a car.
  
• Saddle Jowls: You ride so much, you have to retension your sagging Brooks.

Free Spirit
Rainman
Desert Fox
Trooper
Iron legs
Jitterbug
Boy Scout
Gear-Head

This sounds like fun. We should make little achievement icons and put them in our signatures.

awesome thread!
 

the ones that would seem to apply to me are:

Hardened: Get hit by a car
Hahd Baastuhd: Get hit by a car, finish the ride to your destination (happened across the street from work)
Rainman: Commute through a rainstorm/thunderstorm
Frosty: Commute while it's visibly snowing
Desert Fox: Commute when it's over 90 degrees outside
Jitterbug: Drink some coffee before your commute
Litterbug: Lost pump/water bottle/whatever some where on the way (mirror)
Froggy: Swallow a bug
Yeti: Ice buildup on the mustache/beard or hair
Life Scout: Gave another cyclist your spare... (gave my buddy a tire)
Tinkerer: Made/invented something for your bike. (custom bike lock)
Scrooge McDuck: Stop to pick up change.
Ow! That Stings!: Stung while riding (last time I cut through that field)
Who Needs a Boat?: Ride a flooded road. (bike trail with ~3ft of water over it)

Something's Squirrelly Here: Close encounters with a tree rat, +3 it manages to get (undamaged) between the front and rear wheels (does a bird count too?)

and to these I add:
awww $h!t: swerve to miss a patch of broken glass and end up going through a giant pile of dog poo, getting some on your clothes.

One that I forgot....and I haven't seen it mentioned.

MY GAWD! It coming right for us! - Encountered bike salmon

Yeti more additions...
 

Yeti: Ice buildup on the mustache/beard or hair

HA-Haw!: Witness stupidity meet deserved pain
D'oh!: Getting deserved pain for stupidity
Hmmm Donut!: That awesome bakery is upwind again
D'oh! A Deer! A Female Deer!: Close encounters with a member of the Cervidae family

A pinion: Riding bike while "winged" (with sprained/broken arm)

Something's Squirrelly Here: Close encounters with a tree rat, +3 it manages to get (undamaged) between the front and rear wheels, -1 you hit it, -5 you crash. -∞ you kill it and/or it kills you
No!!! BULL!!!: Get chased and/or gored by future happy meal
Don't Fence Me In: Let yourself inside of area you're not supposed to be

Hammer Time: Realize you're in a scary situation
Can't Touch This: Sprint out of scary situation

Cleared the Tower: Launched off bike by pothole
Houston, we have a problem: Snot rocket fails to launch (you take it on the shoulder)
Kamekazi: Dive bombed by bird
Scooby Doo-Doo: Those meddling kids didn't clean up after their dog again, your wheel/shoe finds evidence
Aw... Meadow Muffins: Hay! Your first step in manure.
Patch... Pump... Repeat: Your newly patched tire blows out while you are re-inflating it.

Shutterbug: Capable of taking photographs while riding in traffic

Oh... Busted!: That critical part fails at exactly the critical moment (resulting in crash).

I submit these for inclusion:

Red Light, Green Light: Track stand through a complete traffic light cycle
Karate Kid: Track stand with one hand while taking a photo with the other

I've collected these:

Free Spirit, Diaper-legs - except I didn't use bike shorts :-O, Flyin', Rocketman, Reckless endangerment, Sprinter, Rainman, Desert Fox, Iron Legs, Gear-Head, Haters Gonna Hate, Clippy, Oooo Shiney!!!, N+1, Spinnaker, Beating to windward, Litterbug (unfortunately), Follow the White Rabbit, Who Let the Dogs Out - only 2 though, one was small, coming at my side, the other was large, coming from behind

Diaper-legs: Forget to pack a set of underwear, walk around the whole day with your bike shorts under your slacks.

Reckless endangerment: Go over 40mph, road bike, mtn. bike and handcycle


Hardened: Get hit by a car
Hahd Baastuhd: Get hit by a car, finish the ride to your destination- does the MedFlight helicopter count? ;)

Rainman: Commute through a rainstorm/thunderstorm
Frosty: Commute while it's visibly snowing-no snow where I live but ice buildup from fog at 22F
Desert Fox: Commute when it's over 90 degrees outside
Trooper: Commute at least 3 times a week during all 4 seasons
Iron arms: Bike 150 miles in 1 week Adjusted for handcycle

Boy Scout: Get a flat tire, replace it on the road because you're carrying a spare-goathead country, I carry several spares.

Additions:

Spinnaker: Have had a 30 mph tailwind both road bike and handcycle
Beating to windward: Have had a 30 mph headwind, on road bike, on handcycle 27 mph with gusts over 35

My suggested addition: " Hoarder" Commuted using a different bike each day of a work week.

Excellent Idea, I might play with creating some later :)

I also think all of the users' contributions should be edited into the first post (is there a time limit on editing posts?) and linked from the icons.

All but:

Mashin' Potatoes: gotta respect the knees.
Ultimate HB: car usually wins.
Pwnage: have only ridden my moutain bike when it's snowy out.
Pragmatist: I have however phoned my wife after breaking pedals.
Pass a Gator: ???
Double Whammy: Here's hoping that never happens.
Litterbug: Pump and bottle have always made it home.
Triple Lutz: Two wheel drift? Yes.... but kept it upright.
Tastes Like Chicken: Gotta beat the dog.

All the rest, acheived, although with regard to diaper legs I go commando rather than wear my cycling shorts all day. That's just asking for saddle sores.

another addition!

balls of steel: get racked 3 times in a week.

Lol as a Dragonball Z fan love the over 9000 reference. I try to get over 30mph, can't seem to do it anymore, always stuck at 27mph. I try to ride more miles per ride. I also like trying to see how fast I can get to work by leaving as late as possible while still clocking in on time. I usually fail at that.

I've hit over 100 miles on my first road bike. I should probably take it in for it's first tune up. :D

In the past 3 years of regular commuting I've acquired:
Free Spirit
Diaper-legs
Flyin'
Show-off
Sprinter
Hardened
Ultimate Hahd Baastuhd
Rainman
Frosty
Desert Fox
Trooper
Pwnage +2
Jitterbug
Pragmatist (Went to the LBS 2 blocks from work)
Gear-Head
Haters Gonna Hate
Clippy
Oooo Shiney!!!
N+1
Triple Lutz
Litterbug

Magoo: Oblivious to the chaos that they create.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DDYeJpNSCE...mrmagoo-03.jpg

Was on a train today when Magoo decided to cross the tracks. He nearly got hit by our train (his skateboard got stuck between the train and the sidewalk), and after pulling it out, for an encore, he nearly walked in front of another oncoming train. It was then that he decided to pull his earbuds out (hopefully he pulls his head out).

Indeed. Diaper legs my ass.

This needed some updating....
 

Wayfinding and Riding Styles
Free Spirit: Take an alternate, unknown route on your way home
Mashin' Potatoes: Climb a serious grade on the highest gear
Look Ma'! No hands!: Ride without holding the handlebars for 1 mile
Pwnage: pass a road bike, while on a mountain bike. +1 if you were wearing sandals, +2 if you were carrying gear and they weren't
Don't Ask Me: Give motorist directions that won't work because it's your cycling route, not the road. (oops, my bad)
Fools Rush In: Pulled off something that made your angel work overtime.
Playing Frogger: Starting and stopping in the traffic lane while trying to cross a busy road.
Split "S": Right turn to go w/traffic (left in England), then U-turn to go intended direction.

Fashion and Style issues
Diaper-legs: Forget to pack a set of underwear, walk around the whole day with your bike shorts under your slacks.
Commando!: Indeed. Diaper legs my ass.
Breezy: Why's it cold down there?
Wardrobe Malfunction: Dem's the splits.
Peepshow: Give or receive (see also: Breezy)
Just Hanging Out: Riding in the buff... Why wait for June and the WNBR?
Full Moon: Those shorts/slacks refuse to stay put, motorists can kiss your (well, you know)
Turtle Head: Hairstyle and/or sunburn that resembles a Klingon forehead
Wooden Clogs: You forget to pack your work shoes, and have to spend the day in your cycling shoes.
Yeti: Ice buildup on the mustache/beard or hair
Houston, we have a problem: Snot rocket fails to launch (you take it on the shoulder)
Drowned Rat: You were planning on interviewing in those clothes before nature decided against you.

Speed and Distance
Flyin': Go over 30 mph
Rocketman: Go over 35 mph
Reckless endangerment: Go over 40mph
Speeds in excess of R17: (50+ MPH)
Show-off: Pass a car when it's not stuck in traffic
OVER 9000!!!!: Burn over 9000 calories/week, climb over 9000 feet/week, or bike over 9000 miles/year
Sprinter: Haul ass to make a stale green or yellow light
Iron legs: Bike 200 miles in 1 week
Haters Gonna Hate: Zip by a bunch of cars stuck in traffic OR get home/to work in less time than a car would have taken

Crashes, Accidents and Injuries
Hardened: Get hit by a car
Hahd Baastuhd: Get hit by a car, finish the ride to your destination
Triple Lutz: Have fallen on ice
Ultimate Hahd Baastuhd: Get hit by a car, the car suffers more damage than you
Clippy: Unclip left/right, fall opposite.
Dem's Da Breaks: Broken bone(s) from crash.
Clotheslined: Upper body hit by stationary object (ya' know, it's dark at night)
Grate Danger!: Crash due to a storm drain grate.
That Sucks!!!: Damage or injury due to a crash caused by storm drain grate.
Railroaded: Crash due to crossing railroad tracks.
A pinion: Riding bike while "winged" (with sprained/broken arm)
Cleared the Tower: Launched off bike by pothole
Balls of Steel: Get racked 3 times in a week.
Bagged another one: Bag on handlebar, meet front wheel.
SMIDSY: The last thing you want to hear before the ambulance hauls you off to the ER.
Abandoning Ship!!!: Ejecting yourself from the bike just before the impact.

Weather Conditions
Rainman: Commute through a rainstorm/thunderstorm
Frosty: Commute while it's visibly snowing
Desert Fox: Commute when it's over 90 degrees outside
Trooper: Commute at least 3 times a week during all 4 seasons
Spinnaker: Have had a 30 mph tailwind
Beating to windward: Have had a 30 mph headwind
Oh HELL! HAIL: Riding through a hell of a hail storm
Twister Anyone?: Doing your damnedest to avoid some cyclonic action
Hmmm Donut!: That awesome bakery is upwind again

Food and Drink
Jitterbug: Drink some coffee before your commute
Froggy: Swallow a bug
Bug In The System: Swallow whatever it was that flew in there. (see also: Froggy)
Second Look: Barf up whatever it was that flew in there.

Maintenance and Repair
Boy Scout: Get a flat tire, replace it on the road because you're carrying a spare
Life Scout: Give another cyclist your spare tube (or supplied them w/a patch and/or pump)
Eagle Scout: Bombproof wheels, Kevlar lined tires, Slimed tubes. Flats? Aren't those girls shoes?
Pragmatist: Get a flat tire, call a cab.
Gear-Head: Perform your own bike repairs
Bicycle Repair Man: Repair someone else's bike on the side of the road.
Wrench: Exclusively repair your own bike.
Tinkerer: Made/invented something for your bike.
Double Whammy: Flat both tires at the same time
Saddle Jowls: You ride so much, you have to retension your sagging Brooks.
Patch... Pump... Repeat: Your newly patched tire blows out while you are re-inflating it.
Oh... Busted!: That critical part fails at exactly the critical moment (resulting in crash).
MacGyver: repaired critical component failure with non-speced parts. +1 for use of multi tool only, +2 for use of duct tape, +5 for succesful repair using items found on side of road.

Close Encounters
Close Encounters: Fur, feathers, or fins, somethings too close for comfort.
Gators Gonna Gate: Pass a gator.
Follow the White Rabbit: Chased by a big dog
Tastes Like Chicken: Got caught by the dog
Who Let the Dogs Out: Chased by multiple dogs
Skunked: Close encounters w/the black and white.
Skunked Again: What?! Wasn't once enough?
Ow! That Stings!: Stung while riding (mine was in my left ear)
D'oh! A Deer! A Female Deer!: Close encounters with a member of the Cervidae family
Something's Squirrelly Here: Close encounters with a tree rat, +3 it manages to get (undamaged) between the front and rear wheels, -1 you hit it, -5 you crash. -∞ you kill it and/or it kills you
No!!! BULL!!!: Get chased and/or gored by future happy meal
Kamekazi: Dive bombed by bird

New and Used Bikes
Oooo Shiney!!!: New bike
N+1: Bike acquired
N-1: Destroy a bike.
Customiser: Significantly alter a bike in some way.
Hoarder: Commuted using a different bike each day of a work week.

Lost and Found
Litterbug: Lost pump/water bottle/whatever somwehere on the way
Red Light Rodeo: Your rear blinky flies off of your bike. You turn around and try/tried to grab the blinky before it gets/got run over by a car.
Moneybags!: Find paper money on the side of the road.
Paul Allen: Find more than $20 in paper money on the side of the road.
Bill Gates: Score over $50 in paper money (multiple finds count).
Scrooge McDuck: Stop to pick up change.
Philanthropist: Pass up paper money rather than stop.
Finder: Find something of value (>$20)
Tracker: Find the owner of the valuable you found and return.
Good Sam: Turn in the valuable to the police/lost and found/frantic parent.
Lucky Dog!: Reward or valuable returned to you after the appropriate actions taken to track down owner fail.
One Man's Trash: Pull out some kind of treasure.

Harassment
Lose the Haters: Been chased by car, but manage to lose it.
Drive By Fruiting: I've been Limed
Drinks On Me!: Beverage thrown at you.
Egging Me On!: Egging
Yoke's On Him: Egger gets caught, PUNished.
Hammer Time: Realize you're in a scary situation
Can't Touch This: Sprint out of scary situation
Faster Than A Speeding Bullet!: Someone takes a shot, and (fortunately) misses. :twitchy:

I fought the Law
And the Law Won: Convicted for offense
And Beat it: Got out of the citation.
On the Lam: In the town they're searching for you every where. But we never will be found.
Speed Demon: Stopped by police for speeding. +1 for written warning +2 for ticket.

Community Service
"Is this what you're looking for?": Stop, slow, or track person of interest (to the authorities).
The Extinguisher: Report a fire
Preacher: Successfully convert a motorist to cycling.

Group riding
The Gang's all Here: Everybody but the Red Shirt
Red Shirt: The guy who doesn't make it back with the regulars.

Idiots and Idiotic Behavior
Kirk to Enterprise: Motorist swears you beamed in.
Bandits At 6 O'Clock: Your move, causes the idiot passing behind you (w/o warning) to crash.
Stop! Drop! and Roll!: Do an endo, and still end up on your feet. ("I meant to do that...")
If Looks Could Kill: You'd be convicted of multiple homicide.
MY GAWD! It coming right for us!: Encountered bike salmon
HA-Haw!: Witness stupidity meet deserved pain
D'oh!: Getting deserved pain for stupidity
Don't Fence Me In: Let yourself inside of area you're not supposed to be
Magoo: Someone who's oblivious to the chaos that they create.

Lighting
Christmas Tree: Mistaken for a moving holiday favorite.
Landing Lights: "I thought you were a low flying aircraft."
UFO: NASA called again to complain that your lights are keeping the astronauts awake.
Instant Ninja: Batteries or Bulbs, it doesn't matter, you're now in the dark.
Smoke in the Cockpit: When your light burns out, It literally burns out.

Cargo
Overload: Transport goods exceeding your bicycle's weight.
Heavy Haulage: Transport goods exceeding your body weight.

High Water
In Over Your Head: Find yourself in a body of water.
Who Needs a Boat?: Ride a flooded road.

Aw... Pooh
Scooby Doo-Doo: Those meddling kids didn't clean up after their dog again, your wheel/shoe finds evidence
Aw... Meadow Muffins: Hay! Your first step in manure.
awww $h!t: swerve to miss a patch of broken glass and end up going through a giant pile of dog poo, getting some on your clothes.

You Got Skills
Shutterbug: Capable of taking photographs while riding in traffic
Red Light, Green Light: Track stand through a complete traffic light cycle
Karate Kid: Track stand with one hand while taking a photo with the other

Experience
Veteran: Done it all, seen it all

Oh, and the ones I'm looking forward to...

Travel
Foreigner: Ride across an international boundary.
Explorer: Discover every map location in single player mode (just kidding)
Lost In Translation: Wayfinding in another language! 對不起，我不明白

(added MacGyver from a suggestion found on the parallel thread I posted at BikePortland.org)

Slip Slidin' Away: Hit wet/oily/wet and oily painted surface and go down. ( I spun 180° and ended up looking at the front bumper of the car behind me... mere inches away)

I actually achieved that on the first commute of the year when I went down on an ice patch in the dark.

Taking on City Hall: Advocate for something that the city is remiss to acknowledge. -500 you give up w/o change +1000 you get your project done.

Actually, I think that's a "Triple Lutz"