I thought mirrors were "meh..." too, but I started using a glasses mounted mirror last year and I can't live without it. It takes no time to look behind you, just a glance, a movement of the eyes: the mirror is in your field of view all the time. Even in dense traffic I like to see what's behind me. It takes a fraction of the time compared to turning around and you never lose the view of what's in front of you. Sometimes idiots try to use the bike lane for passing so it's good to see that.

Speaking of fear of streets: what you fear will hurt you. Get rid of the fear or stay away from the streets. Fear makes you make mistakes and clouds your judgement. When afraid you are indecisive and drivers can see that and will take advantage of it. You need to ride like you belong, like you know what you're doing and be confident. If you're scared on the street you will make mistakes that can cost you. Try gradually, a shorter route on a slow day, like on a weekend. Don't expose yourself to the craziness of full, rush hour commute right away. Look for better routes. It's completely possible to get rid of this fear and be comfortable riding on the streets, but like everything else, it takes time and practice. Take it easy.

I disagree with the "Just do it" philosophy.

It is natural and normal, and the only way beyond it is to learn judgment and skills. SlimRider and Adam gave the best advice in my opinion: first learn the applicable traffic code (there isn't much) and then slide into it gradually.

Best words of advice in this thread so far.

Don't worry about the cars, the wife came from China where she was used to properly divided bike paths away from the main roads, and going biking on downtown streets without bike lanes ended up making her do some stupid things (such as stopping in the middle of biking down the street and pulling her bike into the sidewalk cause of a panic attack) before she broke out of that habit of being afraid of the road and got used to the idea that cars will zoom past her left but wont actually hit her.

People on bikes do get hit by cars, but paying attention, keeping distance from parked cars, and not trying to squeeze between cars and the curb when at a red light goes a long way to keep you safe. Staying off the road after about 11pm to 4am tends to be a good idea too especially if you know there are a lot of bars in the area.

Jim

Maybe I'll try that kind of mirror...I haven't found bar or helmet mounted mirrors to be useful at all. If anything, I've found them to be distracting annoyances.

It'll be distracting at first, until your brain gets used to it. It may even make you nauseous at first. Once you get used to it, it'll be natural and you won't even know it's there until it's not

My mom never learned to drive. During the first few lessons she screamed and covered her eyes in fear several the times. The instructor told her to never get behind the wheel. She gets scared when sitting in the front as a passenger when I pass a truck, when there is an incoming truck, etc. This is an extreme example, of course, but that's the basic idea, yeah. Forcing her to learn to drive would certainly end up with disaster. She also lacks proper 3D and spacial imagination which may make traffic even more scary for her.

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this before, but one of those dangerous situations no one talks about is driving by a car wash...the soapy water on the streets can be dangerous if you're not ready for it. If you see a car wash slow down and don't make sudden movements...I've watched people go down because of that.

In addition to recommending a mirror, I will recommend this particular mirror:
https://www.amazon.com/Bike-Peddler-C.../dp/B001VTQNVO
Prior to buying one of these, I had twice tried mirrors and I gave up both times. The mirrors just shook so much that I couldn't see anything in them. This one works much better. It is ever so slightly larger, which certainly helps. And it shakes much less (though the shake is still noticeable). I presume it is because of the material--brass instead of plastic. You can find these things at most bike shops. I know that REI stocks them. And, of course, Amazon.

I feel much better riding when I can see behind me. Even if you can hear a car, I want to know more than my ears can tell me. What kind of car is it? If it is a truck, is it a wide load? Usually, I can actually see the driver. Does he look alert? Is he fiddling with the radio? Imagine if you looked back and saw some drunk swerving down the road towards you. The odds of being able to see that in time to react may be low, but the odds are much higher than if you can't see behind you at all without turning your head. If I look behind me and find anything suspicious at all about an approaching car, even if I can't articulate exactly what it is, I'll definitely take refuge in the ditch or on the sidewalk.

I feel that using a mirror is an advanced skill and is a bit above what the OP is capable of processing. I still recommend learning basic skills, prior to using gizmos and gadgets to help provide the rider with more information.

Yeah. I don't like walking next to those

Yup. These are very good. That's what I have and see those are very popular among others as well.

Take her out to a empty Walmart Parking lot? Helps many people with a fear of driving if they go a few times or more and drive without worrying about hitting anything.

Its all about finding something that isn't as scary as the other, and then over time getting someone used to the scary thing. First with the wife biking only on bike lane roads, then we have a couple of 4 lane one ways in the down town, that got he used to it as the cars stick to the left 3 most lanes anyways on those roads. Then finally getting used to no bike lanes, and cars all over the places.

Doing a little more every time, even if its not a lot of difference from one day to the next, goes a long way to break people's phobias.

Jim

Maybe she knows something the rest of the world is still struggling with: driving is dangerous. Ask the 40,000 who were killed last year.

I wouldn't say it's a phobia type fear, I'd say it's more paranoia. That out of hundreds of cars, I'm going to get the maniac that's so 'late' for work that he will run over me on my way to work. Logically, I know it's unlikely. But I'm paranoid. Luckily, I don't have my bike yet, so I have time to get used to it. I do know that I see bikers literally everywhere around here, especially on Saturdays, so hopefully the drivers are no stranger to sharing the street.

As far as a biking buddy, I barely know anyone at all up here, let alone another biker. ^^; I just moved up here. My few friends complain about the bikers slowing their morning/evening drives to work. So I don't know where I'm going to find a riding buddy, especially since no one else at my work rides.

I'll probably get a mirror after I've broken into the biking scene a little. I know it seems backwards, but when I'm first starting on something, I don't trust mirrors as much as I trust my eyes. And while I haven't been driving, I have been my mother's navigator for ages. Which means checking her right hand mirrors, lanes, exits, etc. So I'm not a total stranger to the road, it's just that I only know the theory.

I still fear riding on the street in the city I live in. I do it, but where I live is very bike unfriendly. I ride like everyone is out to run over me and that keeps me on my toes.

Actually "phobia" means fear in Greek. And English people tend to use by this definition,

So with the number of bikers you see on the road locally, and the number of accidents you hear happen locally, could you perhaps define that your fear of being run over being nearly the same type of phobia as people being scared that every spider they come across will bite them and kill them?

Never let down your guard when biking, but always remember, most of the fear itself is not rational from a statistical standpoint. Relax, and try biking on the roads slowly as you build confidence, but giving up is not a solution.

Jim

Oh, I'm not giving up. This is my only viable means of transportation, if I have to I'll just suck it up and do it. I'm sure, once I actually have my bike, after riding for a while I'll be a lot more comfortable.

Thanks guys. I really like this forum. Lots of good advice.

You can never get enough reading material concerning safety. I would recommend reading Bicycling Street Smarts. Good info for anyone riding in traffic. https://www.bikexprt.com/streetsmarts/usa/index.htm

put me down for another recomendation for the mirror. I rode for almost 25 years without one. I wouldn't ride without it now.

RTC, the local bus company sponsors the bike lanes and bike trails here. They have a map on line that shows bike paths, bike lanes and bike routes and the differences between them. My commute mostly uses bike paths and I commute 2 hours before everybody else so my routes are always nearly empty which makes for very enjoyable commuting. I also used the maps to piece together trail segments coupled with roads that only have bike lanes (which are most roads in my town) and I have next to no issues with traffic. Fortunately, the empty path/bike lane only route is also the fastest and most esthetically pleasing route to work for me. Commuting here is an absolute pleasure.

The ~$27 cygolite hotshot is close to the same brightness as the dinotte 140R.

despite his more recent fantacism, foresters book is simply the best manual for effective vehicular cycling.

https://www.amazon.com/Effective-Cycl...3322751&sr=1-1

i think mirrors are pretty much useless and potentially dangerous. if you are going to take the lane you should always look back.

I think they did that, although that was long time, I was a teen, and she was fine until they took it to the streets. She never had the desire to get back behind the wheel anyway.

No kidding. Perhaps she just has properly functioning survival instincts.

takes a long time to get used to it... especially to get comfortable with it...