I remember some gilrs shouting to me as I was climbing out of the saddle a big hill on my way home, they shouted: "keep going, you can do it!". It was cute. I had that hill conquered long before the girls came by on that day, but ever time I climbed it - that's what I was telling myself. Keep going, you can do it.

"Why dont you get a proper bike!"

Like what bike did they have in mind

I can't imagine a seasoned commuter who hasn't been told at least once, "Get off the road" no matter how bike-friendly the area.
Likewise, a seasoned tourer has to be told "Your CRAZY" at least once upon hearing the distance traversed on a tour. It's a right of passage. Smile... hold your head high... keep the lane... and know you're in the club.. :-)

My first car screamer?? Betsy. My ears are still ringing. The car was a 65 mustang.

No screaming, and not a car, but i had a guy on a Harley pull up beside me and ask me for directions, which i gave to him, all the while going 20mph down the road!

"Hey, Lance!"

I had the most unexpected one a couple days ago. Not in a commute, but a simple ride a couple miles to the store. It was a pedestrian screamer. There's a short, two block area where I'm forced onto the sidewalk from a busy 4-lane road with no lane. There was a ped walking down the middle (of course) so I gave her a loud "Head's Up!" as I slowed down. As I passed her, she started running and yelling "God Loves You!" over and over at me.

Had all sorts of heckles through the years...

One of my buddies passes me almost everyday, he bought one of those cycling noisemakers at a CX event. As he passes me he's always ringing that thing...I can hear him coming all the way down the road.

I do have the occasional friend who sees me and always makes it a point to tell me how cute I look in my cycling clothes.

I got people in big gas eating trucks yelling "f-ing hippie"

Classic Navy gag to newcomers. Eventually though we changed pocket to di*k...fun times back then...

Mine happened maybe 3 months ago, back in the days when I had no backlight and helmet
I was getting back from who-knows where at around 12pm, and on the road home there is a small viaduct to cross.
On the right side there is the entrance/exit to the highway after a long curve (so no, no one will come out of there at 100km/h by surprise and hit me ) and on the left a brick wall separating the two ways
I went on the left side longing the brickwall to let the way for the highway free, but at some point a lady from a car was screaming at me "Get on the right side we don't see you you'll get hit!!!" with a voice of someone who saw a death. It's because the lighting isn't really good at that place and cars going at perhaps 60 km/h don't except to have a cyclist on their left at that place.
After that I installed a back-light and wear a helmet, you sometimes don't know how safe is what you're doing cause you don't know how the drivers are seeing you (I don't drive cars), especially when you do 4x km/day you're never too safe

Got my second screamer (that wasn't one of my idiot friends trying to say hi) one morning last week but he wasn't in a car. I was pedaling slowly out of the grocery store parking lot when a car alarm went off a few rows back. An old man with a Jack Russell Terrier walking on the sidewalk next to me began yelling at me for being loud. Well, I think that's what he was yelling about. He said, "Do you think that's funny, huh? I'll show you funny, I'll show you REAL funny-" and then I was out of earshot.

What if they still liked the ponytail?

The pistol fired over my head from a 10 yard dump truck with a dirty plate. I still remember the passenger laughing. Olympia Washington, spring of '74 on Kaiser Road south of the freeway. Of course I was a bearded longhair with a headband. Farm boy at heart.

I was waiting at a junction to cross and some male shouted "Use the pedestrian crossing....!!"

Like he would in his car, then he probably would the tool.

Dohhhhh

I had somebody yell at me as I was riding down a multi use path. "Watch out there's a bear by the bridge up ahead"
Bears are not too uncommon around here, so I kept ringing my bell as I rode down the path so as not to startle the bear.