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Squirrel Hater

Old 02-17-15, 01:31 PM
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Squirrel Hater


I hate squirrels. They are out to get me. Specially in these early days of warmer weather when they are bat sh.. crazy. They are planning my demise. They have rabbits to help them. They run at my front wheel trying to make me crash. IF I AM FOUND AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TELL THE AUTHORITIES!
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Old 02-17-15, 01:35 PM
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Squirrels are on a suicide mission to destroy bikers. proof:

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Old 02-17-15, 01:39 PM
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Awesome we got one! Hummmm I ride a Cannondale HEY they hate Cannondale's!
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Old 02-17-15, 01:54 PM
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Agreed! Squirrels are unpredictable (and somewhat creepy).
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Old 02-17-15, 01:58 PM
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Bunnies. Cute little bunnies. About 10 to a block on my route through St. Louis Park at night. Yelling doesn't work, but makeing a *pfffft* *pffft* sound scatters 'em like sheep. I'm going to rig a cow bell this year for the 2 AM ride home.
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Old 02-17-15, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by RoadTire View Post
Bunnies. Cute little bunnies. About 10 to a block on my route through St. Louis Park at night. Yelling doesn't work, but makeing a *pfffft* *pffft* sound scatters 'em like sheep. I'm going to rig a cow bell this year for the 2 AM ride home.
Same out further West, I ride the SW LRT in Eden Prairie & Minnetonka. SO MANY bunnies, they must breed like rabbits.
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Old 02-17-15, 03:22 PM
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I don't hate them, though i think over-sprawl has made interactions more likely.

- Andy
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Old 02-17-15, 03:24 PM
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Fat bike is again, the answer.
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Old 02-17-15, 03:46 PM
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We have more suicidal frogs than squirrels. Most make it out of the way at the last second, but not always. At least they don't cause a crash. One time at night I was riding over what looked like leaves, until they started jumping out of the way. Hundreds of them. Yuck.
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Old 02-17-15, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by jdswitters View Post
Fat bike is again, the answer.
YES!!!

Originally Posted by alan s View Post
We have more suicidal frogs than squirrels. Most make it out of the way at the last second, but not always. At least they don't cause a crash. One time at night I was riding over what looked like leaves, until they started jumping out of the way. Hundreds of them. Yuck.
Hope you had fenders!
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Old 02-17-15, 04:17 PM
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..better in a car, just makes a thump.

... unless they form a short between the power wire and a tree and blow the circuit breaker for the neighborhood..
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Old 02-17-15, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Hypno Toad View Post
Same out further West, I ride the SW LRT in Eden Prairie & Minnetonka. SO MANY bunnies, they must breed like rabbits.
Ugh....co-workers looking at me funny, wondering what I was laughing about.

I'm having more anxiety over this coming season's ride home on the Dakota Trail, north of you, than going through Mpls on the Cedar Lake Trail N. Raccoons, Coyotes, Deer, Squirrels, and now bunnies?
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Old 02-17-15, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by KLiNCK View Post


Agreed! Squirrels are unpredictable (and somewhat creepy).
It's a rat with opposable thumbs..
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Old 02-17-15, 06:28 PM
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A rat with good PR. What's to like? Maybe
Sautéed squirrel, chanterelle mushrooms and autumn vegetables
squirrel pasties
braised squirrel
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Old 02-17-15, 07:18 PM
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Squirrels are tree rats.
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Old 02-17-15, 07:26 PM
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Save a red, eat a gray
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Old 02-17-15, 08:22 PM
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Its turned from squirrel haters to squirrel cuisine!
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Old 02-17-15, 08:27 PM
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Old 02-17-15, 11:11 PM
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Hating *and* eating!!

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Old 02-17-15, 11:12 PM
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Does chicken taste like squirrel?
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Old 02-18-15, 03:33 AM
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Originally Posted by RoadTire View Post
Does chicken taste like squirrel?
Squirrel tastes like a cross between guinea pig and hamster.
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Old 02-18-15, 03:51 AM
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In all seriousness, has anyone on here EVER run into a squirrel, especially by simply maintaining your straight path as you see one running around. I would think squirrels are fast enough to get out of the way of a bicycle most of the time, and even if you did run over one, it should cause a crash anymore than some other small bump would. The picture above of the squirrel jumping through the spokes is surely such a rare occurrence as to not be a bother.

I often have a group of dogs come running out after me on my commute barking up a storm. On other (non-commute) rides, different dogs have done similar things. BUT...I've never had one of them actually touch me or the bike! Apparently they don't want a collision any more than I do.

I've learned to simply keep riding and ignore them, no matter how much their barking makes it seem like they are about to attack me.
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Old 02-18-15, 03:59 AM
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Originally Posted by 12strings View Post
In all seriousness, has anyone on here EVER run into a squirrel...The picture above of the squirrel jumping through the spokes is surely such a rare occurrence as to not be a bother.
It happened to me. The squirrel bounced off the (36) spokes and both of us were left with nothing more than a good anecdote.
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Old 02-18-15, 05:57 AM
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So you didn't crash, right?

That's my whole point, the risk of crashing trying to avoid an animal is usually greater than the risk of just plowing ahead.
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Old 02-18-15, 06:07 AM
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Originally Posted by MichaelW View Post
It happened to me. The squirrel bounced off the (36) spokes and both of us were left with nothing more than a good anecdote.
lol I had a squirrel bounce off my spokes too. Twins!


Trick with squirrels is to aim at them, not try to avoid them. They're a prey animal so their instinct is to dart away. If you keep your line, they will (most likely) do that little dance thing they do and run in another direction. This is, of course if you actually have the time to process all that information before a collision occurs. In the real world things happen too fast to 'do the right thing'. The only time I ever had a squirrel vs. bike encounter I was riding downhill, and it jumped from the side, hitting my wheel and bounced off with no damage to me, the bike or the squirrel (from what I could tell)...and I had zero time to react so had it not bounced off a spoke and instead made it through my wheel, my story would be a lot more similar to the picture upthread.
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