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Spouses

Old 01-03-24, 08:27 AM
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Thanks for the stories so far, folks.

I'm pretty sure all responders have been male. I wonder why. I know some women besides my wife who bring husbands along on rides, like Bob Ross above. I guess this is not their forum.
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Old 01-03-24, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Ross
My wife is actually the person who first got me interested in recreational group riding! I had been primarily a "utility cyclist" for all my life, but she, on a whim, signed up to do the Boston>New York AIDS Ride in 1995 and loved the whole disciplined aspect of group riding that the local club provided as training opportunities for folks participating in that event. So she told me all about how fun cooperative pacelines are and yadda-yadda, eventully convinced me to join the local cycle club and try it out.

Only took her 10 years to convince me! (Seriously.)

But for the last ~18 years we've probably done 65-70% of our rides together. She's an awesome cyclist, definitely an asset to any paceline. Even when it's only a paceline of 2 cyclists.
I did the '96 Boston-NY AIDS Ride - training for it got me back onto the road after several years' hiatus and introduced me to group riding. The event itself was great, even including the second day of all-day apocalyptic rain while negotiating the hills in CT (the year after, they apparently bused riders when the weather turned nasty - but I wouldn't have swapped that day in the downpour for anything - is was awesome!)
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Old 01-04-24, 06:11 AM
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I think mrs t2p prefers the trees over me
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Old 01-04-24, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Trsnrtr

The biggest problem with a cycling significant other is having to buy two of everything.
Even “athletic support tops”?
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Old 01-04-24, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by andrewclaus
Thanks for the stories so far, folks.

I'm pretty sure all responders have been male. I wonder why. I know some women besides my wife who bring husbands along on rides, like Bob Ross above. I guess this is not their forum.
Internet forums in general, and perhaps this one in particular, are far less frequented by women.

My first "date" with my wife was to go to a bike shop with her when she was getting a stolen bike replaced. We've been riding together for about 30 years now.
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Old 01-04-24, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by indyfabz
Even “athletic support tops”?
Dude! She can buy her own athletic bras and other “personals.” I do keep her stocked in P-mates, though.
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Old 01-04-24, 03:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Polaris OBark
Internet forums in general, and perhaps this one in particular, are far less frequented by women.
.
Agreed. My wife has no interest in BF even though she would be a great resource for others.
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Old 01-04-24, 07:59 PM
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A bit impressed by the love and dedication shared here.
My wife rides a bike somewhat like a Monarch butterfly, she flits from side to side with abandon due to eye and depth perception issues. She has given up road riding. She does exercise daily for a few hours,an ifit program that Puts her on a nordic trac bike, floor exercise , some weights, stretching and Yoga. She is far more dedicated than me and in better Overall condition. All I do is ride. I wish I had her mindset.
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Old 01-04-24, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Polaris OBark

My first "date" with my wife was to go to a bike shop with her when she was getting a stolen bike replaced. We've been riding together for about 30 years now.
first date with my wife - casual dinner after we met at a county park parking area where she had just finished a bike ride and I had just finished a short run

at the time she was riding a GT MTB - and had recently completed an MS-150 two day ride on that bike (yikes)

we eventually got her a better / lighter bike - and I traded her GT MTB for a lugged steel (Columbus SL/SP) Schwinn Peloton frame (bike pictured above)

win - win !
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Old 01-05-24, 07:10 AM
  #35  
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My wife doesn't like riding on the road, so we stick to nearby C&O Canal. I can ride the 2 miles to the canal or go via road and jump on the towpath. I'll ride solo for 20 miles or so, then call her for a meet point. She drives there and we ride together for 10 miles or so. I'd love for her to ride more, but this works for her.


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Old 01-05-24, 08:10 AM
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I bought my wife her first real bike (Specialized Cruz) when we stated dating 30 years ago. There were a few years where raising kids got in the way and she did not ride much but we have always rode at least once a week together. Now we ride the majority of the time together.


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Old 01-05-24, 09:16 AM
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My bride of more than 5 decades used to casually ride with me, do some whitewater canoeing, go backpacking and so on. She was never into any of it to the same degree as I was, but we both enjoyed the activities. These days she doesn't do any of those and says her biking days are over. I did get her out on the lake in a canoe last year and we plan to do some travel with some "camping" in the upcoming years. Camping is in quotes because her currrent definition of camping requires an available toilet or at the very least a chemical potty. She has had recent health issues and is improving after getting a pacemaker defibrillator. We also have a dog that is old enough to require a lot of attention and assistance and is hard to travel with. So travelling will likely wait until the pooch passes. We used to have a VW campmobile and she loved that so some kind of van or pickup based camper may be in our future. She is supportive of going scenic places and hanging out and enjoying the scenery if I go MTBing. I am inclined to get out at the crack of dawn to ride and she likes to sleep in so I typically am not even missed when I ride.
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Old 01-07-24, 07:54 AM
  #38  
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I wish. Having riding in common would be a wonderful gift. Not that I'm looking for another spouse or anything, but she's just not interested in cycling. She owns a bike and for a few years, she rode it a bit, but she hasn't touched it in maybe 5 years, and I'm not going to push.

She's very tolerant of my cycling obsession, but on some level, she just doesn't get it. She prefers gardening and walking. I help with the gardening and we frequently take walks together after dinner.

Were she a cyclist, we'd be more in sync for planning vacations.

It's also an issue when we talk about where we will live after retirement. She wants to be in a city, I want to be in a place that's good for riding. With other constraints, that narrows the choices. considerably.
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Old 01-08-24, 06:12 PM
  #39  
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My SO isn't in to cycling at all. She had done a few short tours and rides with me, but the more I got into it, the less she did.

But she knows a good portion of my cycling buddies, and has come to really enjoy their company and regard them as her friends. Our routine on Saturdays is kinda wild. I ride my bike in the mountains, and my wife stays home to do the shopping and errands, and spoils herself watching sports. Mostly college football. On those few occasions where I am home on the weekend, she actually gets kind of annoyed, as she likes having the house to herself.

I think it important for people to have their own independent identity outside of their SO, so I am completely OK with that.

It WOULD be fun to plan cycling tours with her, but she doesn't object to the ones I go on by myself or with friends. And I haven't given up trying to arrange a trip where we both cycle (her on an ebike) or we have a cycling/sight seeing trip. Maybe PBP with her coming down after the ride and sightseeing from that point.

She knows me well. After my first nasty crash, I was laying in a hospital bed with her, my Mom and my sister visiting me:

Sister to Mom: "Maybe this will knock some sense into him."

SO: "If you think that, you don't know him very well."
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Old 01-10-24, 09:06 AM
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I bought this tandem about 25 years ago for me and the kids. They outgrew it and lost interest. Mrs. Stoker got tired of getting left at home, so this is us now.
We did one century, about 15 years ago, but "I will never, ever do that again!" So now are fully into the trail and cafe ride scene.

Tandem rides are for easy days with latte's and pastry. Single rides are for beating my brains out with the group.
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Old 01-10-24, 11:00 AM
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My wife and I have Zwift accounts and a smart trainer setup. We ride together on Zwift and we use the meetup function so that we are together independent of what the power to weight ratio or either rider happens to be. We use this function for intervals as well. And we ride with other people we know who have moved to different parts of the country. Of course, one does not need to use the meetup function, but then Zwift delivers a similar experience to riding on the road and the challenges of riding together.

If the reason for ones spouse NOT wanting to ride due not being able to keep up for whatever the reason, Zwift has a solution. When we got into tandems, the main reason was riding together. Today, on the road, we can ride together and challenge each other. This looks years of training and practice to accomplish. The idea that a couple could decide to ride together and stay together without some discord is unlikely and certainly will be disappointing to both parties.

Unlike tandems, riding together on Zwift each person is on their own bike and riding whatever cadence he/she wants.

I am not a Zwift salesman, and we prefer to ride on the road. However, Zwift is fun and a great workout and passes the time very fast and overcomes boredom on the trainer. The cons, if any, are that one needs a smart trainer, computer setup, computer stand, fan and Zwift account and motivation. YMMV.
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Old 01-10-24, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Hermes
However, Zwift is fun and a great workout and passes the time very fast and overcomes boredom on the trainer. The cons, if any, are that one needs a smart trainer, computer setup, computer stand, fan and Zwift account and motivation.
Also, a towel. Don't forget the towel! As Douglas Adams wrote, "A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker [or indoor cyclist] can have."

It's also pretty good at mopping up the sweat.

One more thing: a TV set with an Apple TV Is a cheap and workable alternative to a computer + stand.
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Old 01-11-24, 08:51 AM
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I didnt pay much attention many years when my doctor told me that women tend to age ten years faster than men. My wife and I are three months apart in age. She's had a hip replacement, and lots of dental issues. She recently changed all of our Alexa notifications so that my name comes up as "Stud" due to my overall lack of major health issues (praise God). I'm trying to get her back into cycling, but its challenging.
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Old 01-11-24, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by boozergut
I didnt pay much attention many years when my doctor told me that women tend to age ten years faster than men. My wife and I are three months apart in age. She's had a hip replacement, and lots of dental issues. She recently changed all of our Alexa notifications so that my name comes up as "Stud" due to my overall lack of major health issues (praise God). I'm trying to get her back into cycling, but its challenging.
That's interesting about women aging faster, because they also tend to live longer. But the same is true in our marriage. When we first met, almost 45 years ago, I was on the college rugby team. My wife seriously thinks I could still play that game. From a sample size of two, I agree with you.
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Old 01-11-24, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by boozergut
I didnt pay much attention many years when my doctor told me that women tend to age ten years faster than men. My wife and I are three months apart in age. She's had a hip replacement, and lots of dental issues. She recently changed all of our Alexa notifications so that my name comes up as "Stud" due to my overall lack of major health issues (praise God). I'm trying to get her back into cycling, but its challenging.
My experience is the opposite. My SO and I joke about how every time the boys get together, the subject always gets to aches and pains ... and how we all have our health issues. But when she gets together with her friends, health stuff just doesn't come up. My best friend ... super athletic in his past and the most conscientious person you'll ever meet about eating right and taking care of himself, has been suffering with a nerve condition for the last 5 years that prevents him from doing a lot of things he wants to do (it all began shortly after he retired) ... and it seems like we all have something like that going on.

In my family, the women have good longevity genes. All lived into their 90s with no serious health issues at all. The guys? Not so much.
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Old 01-21-24, 06:20 AM
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My wife (30 years now) has owned a bike since her dad got it for her as a teen, but I don’t remember the last time she rode it. I’ve had it tuned up for her, but it just sits in the garage. I rode a bike for transportation a lot in high school and college, and got into it last year for serious exercise.

I bought an indoor trainer a week ago, and she said, “oh, I might actually ride that - its better to work out indoors for me.” Chronic asthma and other issues make working out outside, besides casual walking, very challenging.

She is a lifelong ballet addict, and got me into taking classes for a few years. The studio we went to closed, so neither of us is doing it right now, and I mostly ride my bike alone, just as I have most of my non-dance studio physical activity pursuits - distance running, hiking, hunting, weight training, golf, etc.
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Old 01-21-24, 08:59 AM
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Tandem

Tandem is the answer. My spouse and I regularly rode a Santana from 1985 until 2020 nobody dropped. Nobody lost. Always easy to communicate. Her hip replacements nudged us toward siingles for easier mounting and dismounting. Ride on. Next week is anniversary 58
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Old 01-22-24, 12:03 AM
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My wife (obligatory number of years married = 20) and I usually don’t get each other gifts for Xmas or Birthdays since we are fortunate enough to buy what we want. This past Xmas, our son and daughter-in-law bought his mom an expensive 5 quart cooking pot (French) and attachments for her mixer, to slice, cut and render into tiny pieces any vegetable - since she also has bad RA. She was over the moon with these gifts because they will help her with her passion - cooking.

I got her the usual, nothing and received the like in kind - except she bought our dog a gift card to the local coffee shop, so while he is there getting a treat, I can also buy myself a cup of coffee.

Because my wife likes to train all year for riding, she has been using my vintage squirrel cage bike trainer that makes all sorts of horrendous noise, even after grease and attention - its just old, but for her it was ‘just fine’. I have a Wahoo trainer, a 65” flat screen, a great fan etc, and she had this noisy crappy trainer. So this week I surprised her with an analogue magnetic trainer, and she was floored. She rode it today over an hour and loved it. But the bar was already low. She is thrilled to ‘have such a nice gift’ which she will use several days a week. She has probably thanked me 4X.

If I had bought my starter wife a trainer for a Xmas gift it would have been received with accusations about me not being happy about her weight and no-doubt a suggestion where I could place it. That’s why RSBob the second is a keeper.
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Old 01-22-24, 10:47 PM
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Single bikes didn't work out for us. The disparity in our abilities was too great, so we bought our first tandem about 30 years ago and have been having a fine time ever since. For us the tandem is the great equalizer.

This thread needs more photos.









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Old 01-25-24, 02:40 PM
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My wife has ridden progressively less with me from the time we were married in '97 until about 5 years ago when she just quit. We have had road bikes, recumbents, tandems, her final bike being an Electra ebike (that she picked out) that currently sits unused. I would rather ride with her, but I will continue riding either way.
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