Comic Dangers of a long ride!
#1
Thread Starter
Pedals, Paddles and Poles
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,495
Likes: 69
From: Vegas Valley, NV
Bikes: Santa Cruz Tallboy, Ridley Noah, Scott Spark 20
Comic Dangers of a long ride!
I just did my first century as did a couple other posters here, we are 50+ and strong! A couple of things happened that are out of the ordinary and NOW funny. Let me know if this has happened or if you have things to add.
Left side tan/burn-In the morning we were going south to the Hoover Dam and then north to Blue Diamond and Red Rocks Park. My left side was in the sun all day. Right side no! Even through I used Sun Screen I have an extreme Farmers tan. Kids are laughing at me.
Clipless Pedals-Yup bought some a week before the ride. Crank Brothers and MT-42 shoes. Everything was fine until the stop at 68 miles. It of course was crowded and festive. I ride up, unclip on the left side and fall on the right side. Everyone freezes and is silent as they stare at me. I curse, kick myself free and stand up-everyone goes back to normal.
At the security stop accessing the new bridge by Hoover Dam NV HP had us all stopped. A woman comes riding around the group and heads to a secure area on her bike, the officer shouts stop immediately-NO Access! She screams I can't unclip, he screams, what the HELL does that mean, all the cyclists start screaming at the officer, the office shouts stop or I've got to shoot you, she circles back.
A guy at the 87 mile point announces, I've got IB Profen, anyone want some. he gets mobbed by the 50+ crowd.
What are some other stories that left you chuckling.
Left side tan/burn-In the morning we were going south to the Hoover Dam and then north to Blue Diamond and Red Rocks Park. My left side was in the sun all day. Right side no! Even through I used Sun Screen I have an extreme Farmers tan. Kids are laughing at me.
Clipless Pedals-Yup bought some a week before the ride. Crank Brothers and MT-42 shoes. Everything was fine until the stop at 68 miles. It of course was crowded and festive. I ride up, unclip on the left side and fall on the right side. Everyone freezes and is silent as they stare at me. I curse, kick myself free and stand up-everyone goes back to normal.
At the security stop accessing the new bridge by Hoover Dam NV HP had us all stopped. A woman comes riding around the group and heads to a secure area on her bike, the officer shouts stop immediately-NO Access! She screams I can't unclip, he screams, what the HELL does that mean, all the cyclists start screaming at the officer, the office shouts stop or I've got to shoot you, she circles back.
A guy at the 87 mile point announces, I've got IB Profen, anyone want some. he gets mobbed by the 50+ crowd.
What are some other stories that left you chuckling.
__________________
I think its disgusting and terrible how people treat Lance Armstrong, especially after winning 7 Tour de France Titles while on drugs!
I can't even find my bike when I'm on drugs. -Willie N.
I think its disgusting and terrible how people treat Lance Armstrong, especially after winning 7 Tour de France Titles while on drugs!
I can't even find my bike when I'm on drugs. -Willie N.
#2
Time for a change.

Joined: Jan 2004
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From: 6 miles inland from the coast of Sussex, in the South East of England
Bikes: Dale MT2000. Bianchi FS920 Kona Explosif. Giant TCR C. Boreas Ignis. Pinarello Fp Uno.
Blimey- you got away light.
Clipless and the London to Brighton ride As you come into Brighton it is a Sea of riders and Police stop all riders at the traffic lights to allow cars to move occasionally. About 15 roadies- all looked the part- Started lining up at the lights from single file. First one in stopped on the right and unclipped left- 2nd one the same and so on. All unclipped left and the last rider approached Unclipped left and fell right- It was like a line of Dominoes.
But my lasting memory was on this ride and a Traffic Jam. Long hold up for an accident and people started talking. One girl rider had lost her Boyfriend and although not bothered- One of the riders put up the Cry "Peter- Where are you?" No answer so he repeated it and added "Pass it on " We heard it go forward and after about 5 yellings- Got a reply- "He's In front". Next yell- "Tell him to get back here- he's wanted by his girlfriend" Went forward and the reply came back "OK". 5 minutes later and started again- "Peter- where are you" only to get reply from close by. Guided Peter back to his Girlfriend Only to find it was the wrong Peter.
Clipless and the London to Brighton ride As you come into Brighton it is a Sea of riders and Police stop all riders at the traffic lights to allow cars to move occasionally. About 15 roadies- all looked the part- Started lining up at the lights from single file. First one in stopped on the right and unclipped left- 2nd one the same and so on. All unclipped left and the last rider approached Unclipped left and fell right- It was like a line of Dominoes.
But my lasting memory was on this ride and a Traffic Jam. Long hold up for an accident and people started talking. One girl rider had lost her Boyfriend and although not bothered- One of the riders put up the Cry "Peter- Where are you?" No answer so he repeated it and added "Pass it on " We heard it go forward and after about 5 yellings- Got a reply- "He's In front". Next yell- "Tell him to get back here- he's wanted by his girlfriend" Went forward and the reply came back "OK". 5 minutes later and started again- "Peter- where are you" only to get reply from close by. Guided Peter back to his Girlfriend Only to find it was the wrong Peter.
__________________
How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.
Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.
Spike Milligan
#4
Banned.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,938
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From: Post-partisan Paradise
Bikes: GF Wahoo '05, Trek T1000 '04, Lemond Buenos Aires '07
Riding through a police barricade because you can't get unclipped is pretty funny.
I carry Analpram with me on long rides. I'll have to offer it to my comrades next time and see what happens.
I carry Analpram with me on long rides. I'll have to offer it to my comrades next time and see what happens.
#5
Thread Starter
Pedals, Paddles and Poles
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,495
Likes: 69
From: Vegas Valley, NV
Bikes: Santa Cruz Tallboy, Ridley Noah, Scott Spark 20
My wife has some leftover Hydrocodone from a shoulder surgery. I can give it to riders I want to beat. Maybe that is an edge I can explore. They look innocent.
__________________
I think its disgusting and terrible how people treat Lance Armstrong, especially after winning 7 Tour de France Titles while on drugs!
I can't even find my bike when I'm on drugs. -Willie N.
I think its disgusting and terrible how people treat Lance Armstrong, especially after winning 7 Tour de France Titles while on drugs!
I can't even find my bike when I'm on drugs. -Willie N.
#7
I get amused that you can be 9 hours into a Century ride and here comes a paceline chugging past you- where were those guys? Did they start 4 hours late, or is it their second time around or what?
I snapped a picture of something else and accidentally got the "Lantern Rouge" or whatever they call it. (Red lantern goes on the end of a train in the old days, so is used for the last guy in the Tour de France).

Here's my Ben Franklin impersonation.

Here's a mascot from another ride (not my mascot, by the way):
I snapped a picture of something else and accidentally got the "Lantern Rouge" or whatever they call it. (Red lantern goes on the end of a train in the old days, so is used for the last guy in the Tour de France).

Here's my Ben Franklin impersonation.

Here's a mascot from another ride (not my mascot, by the way):
__________________
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
#8
enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 509
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From: Southern Mississippi for the time being.
Bikes: 2010 BMC SL 01 Roadracer, 2012 Davidson Tandem
Last weekend at the Hilly Hundred in Southern Indiana I stopped to help a stranger with a mechanical and the rest of my group got ahead. After a few miles I found that they had decided to take a break under a shady tree to wait for me.
Good news - it was a persimmon tree and we all had a tasty roadside snack.
Bad news - because they hadn't realized it was a persimmon tree until AFTER they sat down, everyone (but me) had 'persimmon butt' from sitting on the fallen fruit hidden under the leaf litter. White jerseys weren't any more and we all had to pick persimmon goo out of our cleats before we could get underway again.
Good news - it was a persimmon tree and we all had a tasty roadside snack.
Bad news - because they hadn't realized it was a persimmon tree until AFTER they sat down, everyone (but me) had 'persimmon butt' from sitting on the fallen fruit hidden under the leaf litter. White jerseys weren't any more and we all had to pick persimmon goo out of our cleats before we could get underway again.
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