A newly chartered Fred University will be welcoming the first class in the fall, 2012. Students at FU will be able to choose from five different majors, as shown below, with some of the classes they'll be taking in pursuit of their bachelor's degree. All of these classes were suggested in the preceding posts. Not all of the suggested classes (above) have made the cut; I was getting sleepy and decided to bring the project to conclusion.

Here, then, are the five tracks for a degree at FU:

Mechanics: How Your Bike Works

• 10 places you never thought about mounting a winky blinkie
• Can you ever have too many spokes?
• Clipless Pedals I, II, III, IV and V.
• Cross-chaining for dummies
• Gearing - how slow can you go and not fall over?
• Maximizing handlebar height
• Mirrors Demystified
• Synchronizing your blinkies
• The Purpose of Reflectors and Dork Discs

Fashion for Freds: What to Wear When You Ride Your Bike

• A comparison of pants protectors
• Club Cut - make your own oversize cycling jerseys
• Cutting the fingers off of gardening gloves
• Fashionable riding accessories at Wal-Mart and other department stores.
• Gel padded bike shorts
• Helmet fundamentals: Visors on or off?
• HighVis clothing and accessories
• Pants guards - chromed or not.
• Shorts or Bibs 101: straps under or over the jerseys?
• Spray paint your helmet new
• The aerobelly, myth or mythological
• Too Sexy for My Shorts - high socks, black socks, red shorts - the influence of the Fred on contemporary cycling fashion

Riding Etiquette: The Do’s and Don’ts on the Open Road

• Changing gears - It's a fallacy that gears help. Learn the lies behind gears, global warming and evolution
• Cross training - When and how to walk up a hill and make it look cool.
• Free riding - A guide to stealth riding close behind others on a MUP
• Road repair - How to tell if a stranger might have a flat repair kit and how to get them to fix your flat for free
• The ins and outs of waving hello to other roadies, and why its so hard to get a wave back.
• Unflipped and lifted, a Fred guide to upright riding on drop bars-the definitive guide to not bending over while seated

Equipment: Getting the Most From Your Bike

• 10 tools you never thought about carrying in your saddle bag
• Bags, bentos and gizmos: A guide to carrying everything you need on the bike
• Correct mounting of the egg crate basket
• Handlebar position 101: Drops, we don't need no drops!
• How to choose big fat overstuffed saddles and
• Knowing bike bells by sound
• The 10 best platform pedals
• Top-tube mounts for full-size floor pumps

Advanced Fredosity

• Coast to coast on a Huffy
• Grease subcultures - an analysis of chainring pattern leg illustrations, with workshop
• Make your own fenders with from old filing folders and zip ties
• Making your own 100 lb trailer for touring
• Not cool - An explanation of why all those stupid expensive bikes are a waste of money for everyone and how to express your outrage.
• Permanently magnetize your bike frame to make traffic lights change for you
• Starbucks 101

I can hear the FU cheerleaders now - "gimme a F......gimme a U......"...

The Board of Trustees had to veto a suggestion to name the institution the Fred University of Cycling Knowledge.

Someone asked me once if I shaved my legs. I replied that I don't. I just have very little hair and on my legs naturally--very little(to almost none) on my thighs and what I do have anywhere is sparse and thin.

Corrected.

I teach classes on this all the time.

You forgot Duct Tape 101.

Dang old stodgy, tweedy trustees...ruining our education again.:mad:

I know, right?

You owe me a free screen cleaning where I sprayed coke all over my laptop's screen. But then I got my engineering degree from the Scenic Hills Institute of Technology. You can figure that one out can't you? Sure you can.

Bill

1. Adding 'Cervelo' decals to your Walmart bike 101 (includes removal & application lab
2. Mismatch your pedals just for fun 101
3. Waving to Really Fast Riders 301 (included is the art of distracting them so they don't see the pothole they're about to hit)
4. Showing up late for a ride 301 (course includes competition amongst students to see who can make the group wait the longest)
5. Placing fake rust on your Aluminum bike
6. Adding a hidden Motor to your Bike 401, (advanced course for those who wish to drop the fastest riders in their club) (prerequisite, Adding Cervelo decals to your Walmart bike)
Disertation: Passing horses while Group riding on a gravel Mup at full speed.

Fail. Freds are nothing if not polite.

Prof. Red Green's class**********?

This reminds me of an experience in a previous lifetime when working at the US Military Academy. We were developing a new system to track cadet leadership development. They wanted to call it the "Cadet Leadership Accessment Program".

"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

A short course on using spoke wheel reflectors or lights as bike wheel balance weights might be nice.

Graduate course suggestion:Irrelavent forum phrase 601 - How to interject the phrase "Since I don't race..." or a variation thereof into any discussion.

Well, since I don't race, I think that's a great suggestion.

Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

:):):)

This post is the perfect place to list 2 courses that were in the spring flyer from our local community college.
This is not made up.

1. Exercise for the out of shape! You gotta start somewhere.
2. How to ride an Electric bicycle. Course requirement, you must be able to ride a non-electric bicycle.

I am just glad my tax dollars are going to productive uses.

We can't forget Rack, Baskets, and Milk Crate installation 101... :)

Another course for the Bike Mechanic Degree: Attaching Velcro Mounted Mirrors To Handlebars. A course designed to teach the student mechanic the proper method of attaching Velcro mounted mirrors so they don't swivel on the grips as you ride.

Just sighned up, went right to 50+, then Fred thread to find out I'm guilty of fredism. Drilled out rim for schrader, wallmart shirt, flats.

OK! The art of pulling over to adjust something on your bike so fast riders can pass.

More recently, particularly in the US, a Fred is more often somebody with higher quality and more expensive cycling equipment than his or her talent and commitment would warrant. For example, a stereotypical Fred by this definition would be an individual with little cycling experience who watches the highlights of a few Tour de France stages, then goes to a bike store and purchases a Trek carbon fiber Madone in Team Discovery colors, along with Team Discovery shorts and jersey. Thus outfitted with equipment virtually identical to that which Lance Armstrong used, far more expensive than that used by many high-standard racing cyclists, and more costly than many automobiles, the "Fred" then uses his bicycle merely to ride on a cycling path at 15 mph (24 km/h), something which even the most casual untrained cyclist can manage on an inexpensive hybrid bicycle. Some use "Fred" in a somewhat similar matter, but more synonymous with a roadie poseur. However, a Fred isn't necessarily someone who intentionally tries to put forth an image of being better or more knowledgeable than they are. Rather, a Fred is an inexperienced or unskilled cyclist who gets some top high-end or copy-cat racing gear for any reason. Unlike most poseurs, a Fred may still ride lacking some fundamental piece of competitive roadie equipment or style.

Wait! I know this Fred - A new $4000 carbon bicycle, designer cycling togs, uses a butler to help him clip into the pedals, and only rides along a centurion path at about 15 mph. The family says he's a fanatic; I say he's a Frednatic. Maybe he'll hook up with Dora and have a few baby Freds.

Trailers 200 - for the sophomore level Fred . finding, repainting , refitting and repurposing old kiddie carriers and jogging strollers for the "Edge of Fredness" bicycle tour. Must complete 7 miles with full fred load , which must be added to with roadside finds during tour .

This thread reminds me of how much I miss the Deege.

Sorry---you yourself are guilty of confusing "Fred" with "poseur". The Lance wannabe riding the MUP in full Team Discovery/USPS kit with matching bike is a classic poseur.

The Fred would be the guy with panniers on the same bike, riding in cut-offs and a Grateful Dead t-shirt.

I'm waiting for a good quality, extra light weight, super strong, carbon fiber milk crate for my bike.

You could drill out a plastic one . No waiting .

Experience counts, but before applying to grad school you must first pass a test and qualify for your FRED (Fred Equivalency Diploma)