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-   -   Fred School (https://www.bikeforums.net/fifty-plus-50/812985-fred-school.html)

BluesDawg 04-25-12 11:31 AM

Graduate course suggestion:Irrelavent forum phrase 601 - How to interject the phrase "Since I don't race..." or a variation thereof into any discussion.

Digital Gee 04-25-12 11:55 AM


Originally Posted by BluesDawg (Post 14143438)
Graduate course suggestion:Irrelavent forum phrase 601 - How to interject the phrase "Since I don't race..." or a variation thereof into any discussion.

Well, since I don't race, I think that's a great suggestion.

tony2v 04-25-12 12:05 PM

Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

Retro Grouch 04-25-12 04:34 PM


Originally Posted by tony2v (Post 14143653)
Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

:):):)

oilman_15106 04-25-12 07:32 PM

This post is the perfect place to list 2 courses that were in the spring flyer from our local community college.
This is not made up.

1. Exercise for the out of shape! You gotta start somewhere.
2. How to ride an Electric bicycle. Course requirement, you must be able to ride a non-electric bicycle.

I am just glad my tax dollars are going to productive uses.

Bionicycle 04-25-12 10:10 PM

We can't forget Rack, Baskets, and Milk Crate installation 101... :)

John_V 04-26-12 01:23 PM

Another course for the Bike Mechanic Degree: Attaching Velcro Mounted Mirrors To Handlebars. A course designed to teach the student mechanic the proper method of attaching Velcro mounted mirrors so they don't swivel on the grips as you ride.

dirtclod 04-26-12 04:05 PM

Just sighned up, went right to 50+, then Fred thread to find out I'm guilty of fredism. Drilled out rim for schrader, wallmart shirt, flats.

OK! The art of pulling over to adjust something on your bike so fast riders can pass.

Stomper 09-14-12 08:53 PM

More recently, particularly in the US, a Fred is more often somebody with higher quality and more expensive cycling equipment than his or her talent and commitment would warrant. For example, a stereotypical Fred by this definition would be an individual with little cycling experience who watches the highlights of a few Tour de France stages, then goes to a bike store and purchases a Trek carbon fiber Madone in Team Discovery colors, along with Team Discovery shorts and jersey. Thus outfitted with equipment virtually identical to that which Lance Armstrong used, far more expensive than that used by many high-standard racing cyclists, and more costly than many automobiles, the "Fred" then uses his bicycle merely to ride on a cycling path at 15 mph (24 km/h), something which even the most casual untrained cyclist can manage on an inexpensive hybrid bicycle. Some use "Fred" in a somewhat similar matter, but more synonymous with a roadie poseur. However, a Fred isn't necessarily someone who intentionally tries to put forth an image of being better or more knowledgeable than they are. Rather, a Fred is an inexperienced or unskilled cyclist who gets some top high-end or copy-cat racing gear for any reason. Unlike most poseurs, a Fred may still ride lacking some fundamental piece of competitive roadie equipment or style.

Wait! I know this Fred - A new $4000 carbon bicycle, designer cycling togs, uses a butler to help him clip into the pedals, and only rides along a centurion path at about 15 mph. The family says he's a fanatic; I say he's a Frednatic. Maybe he'll hook up with Dora and have a few baby Freds.

Gravity Aided 09-15-12 05:47 AM

Trailers 200 - for the sophomore level Fred . finding, repainting , refitting and repurposing old kiddie carriers and jogging strollers for the "Edge of Fredness" bicycle tour. Must complete 7 miles with full fred load , which must be added to with roadside finds during tour .

Retro Grouch 09-15-12 06:09 AM

This thread reminds me of how much I miss the Deege.

mprelaw 09-15-12 08:23 AM


Originally Posted by Stomper (Post 14732825)
More recently, particularly in the US, a Fred is more often somebody with higher quality and more expensive cycling equipment than his or her talent and commitment would warrant. For example, a stereotypical Fred by this definition would be an individual with little cycling experience who watches the highlights of a few Tour de France stages, then goes to a bike store and purchases a Trek carbon fiber Madone in Team Discovery colors, along with Team Discovery shorts and jersey. Thus outfitted with equipment virtually identical to that which Lance Armstrong used, far more expensive than that used by many high-standard racing cyclists, and more costly than many automobiles, the "Fred" then uses his bicycle merely to ride on a cycling path at 15 mph (24 km/h), something which even the most casual untrained cyclist can manage on an inexpensive hybrid bicycle. Some use "Fred" in a somewhat similar matter, but more synonymous with a roadie poseur. However, a Fred isn't necessarily someone who intentionally tries to put forth an image of being better or more knowledgeable than they are. Rather, a Fred is an inexperienced or unskilled cyclist who gets some top high-end or copy-cat racing gear for any reason. Unlike most poseurs, a Fred may still ride lacking some fundamental piece of competitive roadie equipment or style.

Wait! I know this Fred - A new $4000 carbon bicycle, designer cycling togs, uses a butler to help him clip into the pedals, and only rides along a centurion path at about 15 mph. The family says he's a fanatic; I say he's a Frednatic. Maybe he'll hook up with Dora and have a few baby Freds.

Sorry---you yourself are guilty of confusing "Fred" with "poseur". The Lance wannabe riding the MUP in full Team Discovery/USPS kit with matching bike is a classic poseur.

The Fred would be the guy with panniers on the same bike, riding in cut-offs and a Grateful Dead t-shirt.

berner 09-15-12 08:38 AM


Originally Posted by Bionicycle (Post 14146348)
We can't forget Rack, Baskets, and Milk Crate installation 101... :)

I'm waiting for a good quality, extra light weight, super strong, carbon fiber milk crate for my bike.

Gravity Aided 09-15-12 12:08 PM


Originally Posted by berner (Post 14733681)
I'm waiting for a good quality, extra light weight, super strong, carbon fiber milk crate for my bike.

You could drill out a plastic one . No waiting .

Looigi 09-15-12 05:54 PM


Originally Posted by RepWI (Post 14132338)
Having been Fred for a long time now, where do I enroll in grad school?

Experience counts, but before applying to grad school you must first pass a test and qualify for your FRED (Fred Equivalency Diploma)

etw 09-15-12 06:46 PM

For those wanting to do advanced study, here is a required text:

http://www.rivbike.com/product-p/bo17.htm

cccorlew 09-16-12 08:13 AM

Saddles: Huge, or giant? Extra padded or lazyBoy cushioned?

Retro Grouch 09-16-12 09:13 AM


Originally Posted by etw (Post 14735352)
For those wanting to do advanced study, here is a required text:

http://www.rivbike.com/product-p/bo17.htm

:):):)

Sixty Fiver 09-16-12 09:55 AM


Originally Posted by tony2v (Post 14143653)
Holy Trinity Fred University: HTFU now accepting applications...........

There is already a H.T.F.U. which offers survival training for cyclists who cannot handle the rigours of riding out of doors in less than perfect weather. Advanced certification is offered to those who can demonstrate an ability to ride in sub freezing temperatures without whining.

Retro Grouch 09-16-12 10:13 AM


Originally Posted by Sixty Fiver (Post 14736971)
There is already a H.T.F.U. which offers survival training for cyclists who cannot handle the rigours of riding out of doors in less than perfect weather. Advanced certification is offered to those who can demonstrate an ability to ride in sub freezing temperatures without whining.

W.E.I.R.D.O.S.
Weather Extream Isn't Restricting Doing Outdoor Stuff.

David Bierbaum 09-16-12 11:02 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Let us proudly raise our Fredly Flag, and recite our Motto of Fredness! "Feeling Cycley is better than Looking Cycley!"
http://bikeforums.net/attachment.php...hmentid=273173

oldbobcat 09-16-12 11:25 PM

My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

Gravity Aided 09-17-12 04:24 AM


Originally Posted by oldbobcat (Post 14739643)
My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

Said like a director of promotions for the curriculum department .

oldbobcat 09-17-12 09:11 PM


Originally Posted by Gravity Aided (Post 14739922)
Said like a director of promotions for the curriculum department .

Thank you. I have a Masters in education.

loneviking61 09-17-12 09:37 PM


Originally Posted by oldbobcat (Post 14739643)
My proposals for mini-courses:

Accessories you can attach to your handlebar, stem and seat post. Work that old bar tape--patching with electrical and duct tape. Don't replace that worn chain, the mechanic will just make you buy a new cassette, too! Put a riser stem on that aero frame! Save money--installing riser stems without longer cables! How much gunk will your cassette hold before the chain skates over the cogs? Grinding cleats down so the dealer has to drill out the bolts to install new ones. Creative ways to attach an under-the-saddle bag. Creative ways to attach crap to the outside of an under-the-saddle bag. Leave the pump and tire lever in the garage--you don't know how to fix a flat anyway! Beer jerseys that are sexy and sleeveless. TT clip-ons--do you want a pillow with that? It's OK if I ride in the middle of the road--I've got a mirror!

Where do I sign up?! :fred:


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