Since my commute changed from 8 miles to 20 feet, I haven't been out riding for weeks. Maybe longer. This is the first winter that I ever skipped as a bike rider, so I'm a newbie at getting ready for that first ride.

I'm making a list:

• A cycling kit mask. Should it match my socks?
• Do we have a new pandemic-specific callout, like "On your left, six FEET!"
• In group rides do we call out no-mask pedestrians or cyclists? "Maskhole UP"
• I need to do some basic maintenance on that all-important helmet (my brain is WORTH something )
  • Polish it up
  • Make sure the pad strips have 0mm of slide
  • Align the visor
  • Refurb the straps for the proper souplesse. What is the approved chemical for that?
  • Lubricate the strap latches
  • Visual inspection for any nicks or scratches (catastrophic failure from stress risers you know)
  • What else?
• Practice my waving
• wax or oil or bacon grease?
• Should I just buy a new bike?

OK what have I left out, for that first post-winter ride?

We'll need some more information first. Are you riding a rim or disk-brake bike?

See that's why I asked - I didn't even think about that. I'd better start with rim brakes at first, don't want to risk cutting off any limbs from being out of practice.

Do we practice the bidon flip now, or should that wait for warmer weather? I don't want to fumble any bidons, but then again I'd feel foolish if I'm flipping them out of season.

Oh now I have another question. Sorry. I'm getting on in years, and it just now hit me, what if I'm just a tad tighter in the legs that I was last fall? Do you risk injury after a winter layoff by not dropping the saddle?

Should I drop the saddle by 1mm? Maybe even 2mm? Should I see a pro fitter before trying something that drastic? Or take a devil-may-care attitude and not move the seat?

A real cyclist would be pounding out the watts on their direct drive smart trainer while working from home. The OP quite obviously needs to HTFU.

1. Practice sitting astride your bike, resting lightly on the top tube with hands and wrists draped loosely over bars in an insouciant, "tranquillo" manner. Do this in the mirror to perfect stoplight style.
2. Measure all socks to ensure length to spec, discard and burn any offending socks.
3. Determine the best helmet vent to hold glasses and practice jamming them in there while riding with hands off the bars.
4. If male, grow raffish SaganStubble.
5. Investigate 2021 collections and determine which brand of obscure Australian kit you plan to wear. Remortgage your house to obtain funds for all necessary "pieces".
6. Gather Strava heatmap data, USGS data, segment results and average historical windspeed data. Using regression analysis, identify the best day to attack each given segment and mark on calendar in red ink.
7. Pre-define unnecessary/decorative handlebar bag strategy and what unnecessary treasures (Optimus Prime toy? caulk gun? live rabbit?) you will keep within said handlebar bag, which will never be opened in order to build mystique.

Well, you're doing well with the zero'th order of business: Post a bf thread on what you need to do to get ready for spring riding.

As Hiro11 notes, you'll need a little round handlebar bag, to keep up with the times.

Before going out the door, check to see that you have essentials- helmet, shoes, shorts. The routine is easily forgotten.

How much time did you spend on this?

Don' forget to polish your spokes.

No political commentary.

Guard against Spring Fever too soon.

AHH Come on Man.

You may not be as out of shape as you think. There are studies that the guilt over not riding consumes almost 26% of the wattage of an actual ride. Worrying about disc brake lacerations, another 3.6% and fretting about freditude actually consumes 72% of the wattage of an actual ride.

I read it on the internet so you know it's true.

are you caught up on all your GCN videos?
did you throw out last year's protein bars?

Why would you do that? Most of the expiration dates are around June, and the dates are way too conservative. You can gnaw on them until they pull all your caps off!

This is what keeps spring fever away here:

Current conditions at Appleton / Outagamie, WI
Last updated Feb 15, 2021 - 03:45 PM EST / 2021.02.15 2045 UTC
Temperature: 1°F (-17°C)
Relative Humidity: 54%
Wind: from the NNE (030 degrees) at 14 MPH (12 KT)
Windchill: -18°F (-28°C)
Sky conditions: clear

Yeah,.........but that's a dry cold!
I'm at 95% humidity.
Following the snowplow = best for dedicated roadies.
At least on Seattle East's side hills at elevation ~475ft (150m).

Ok, I see that. But at least your snow is melting:

Current conditions at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport , WA
Last updated Feb 15, 2021 - 04:53 PM EST / 2021.02.15 2153 UTC
Temperature: 43.0°F (6.1°C)
Relative Humidity: 96%
Wind: from the S (190 degrees) at 15 MPH (13 KT) gusting to 21 MPH (18 KT)
Sky conditions: overcast
Precipitation last hour: A trace

Not even full-on sun all day long is melting anything here.

Clearly I'm not real enough for a smart trainer. Or smart enough for a real trainer as the case may be. I'll settle for a hard minute of vigorous calisthenics to pound watts, every other day since we cyclists need rest days, and it's the rest days that make us stronger. I should be pretty strong by now, come to think of it.

Good suggestions:

• Polish spokes - check
• Little bar bag - check
  • mysterious contents that no one ever sees, TBD
• HTFU - of course!
• Measure socks - got that covered. All socks are identical, which improves morning routine efficiency
• update heat map analysis. Did strava turn that off though, good thing I backup all my trivial analysis to inspire awe in future generations
• Obscure Australian kit. I've got an authentic Russian hat, does that count when my helmet's in the shop for repairs?
• Practice stoplight pose. I'm gonna triage that one, and just try to remember to never stop
• Fretting about freditude burns watts - being not real enough for a smart trainer, I've got to pound watts somehow. It's either that or a solid minute of vigorous calisthenics daily. Fretting wins.
• Weather report series - must memorize the coldest winter days, for fictional epic winter rides during the spring group rides. Good catch!
• (edit) Restock protein bars, now that's the second time I've forgotten that one. I've kept one (1) protein bar for years, because I hate them so much and never eat it. It's probably stale by now.

Trackstand...

You mean with a split second of bird during the second rotation of the bidon? That's another one I flat out never would have thought of. Thanks. I can see that being useful in personal commentary as well.

It will definitely take some practice.

True your cables
Lube your reflectors
Change the air in the tires as what is left in there from last year is now contaminated
Practice the double bell flicks
Calibrate your eyewear temples
Improve snot rocket aim