The thread is about wives who demand that their husbands maintain and project a serious cyclist image when they go out for a bike ride.....or am I missing something ?...but like others have said, you better do what your wife tells you. Other peoples martial problems is really none of my business.

You’re missing something.

It’s more about marriage and the give and take of it. Cycling kit is just a window/mirror into relationship dynamics.

I am very disappointed by this thread. Except for a couple posts by [MENTION=112025]wolfchild[/MENTION], there is almost no ranting in this thread.

As for buying a marriage-murderer (a tandem) think about it ... With every pedal stroke, you are telling your wife, "Take a back seat and do as I say." Think that's going to work? If tandems were such great couples therapy, marriage counselors everywhere would be recommending them. Don't let the few outliers distort the data pool .... Don't Take That Risk.

(Hey ... I at least Tried to rant. The rest of you lame losers stayed rational through the whole thread.)

When my wife gets rid of those gawd awful crocs, I'll consider amending my attire.

You boys who let your wife dress you need to grow a pair.

How is that for a rant?

r.e. bold Put her on the FRONT SEAT and she is in control of where you go.


r.e. bold -- I'm 73 :50: and married 50 years and since engagement she wanted us to wear matching shirts when out. I have willingly agreed AND AM PLEASED when people comment on our matching attire. And BTW, had my *PAIR* removed 8 years ago due to Prostate Cancer. This 73yo Unique Eunuch rode 101.09 miles last Wednesday in honor of a cycling friend hit by a semi while biking and killed 11 years ago and will ride 100 miles tomorrow just because of the FULL MOON.

The problem is I don't think the OP's wife would believe those comments because it has never happened in human history. OP would have to hire an escort to do this in front of his wife, and his wife would then ask him why he hired an escort to pinch his butt and tell him how nice his kit is.

This might explain why my wife likes long trips to California without me.

There is a reason you don’t see many tandems on RAMROD, it is so damn uncomfortable. The cycling and effort is not the issue, it’s not being able to move around on the bike (much). I always felt locked in place. My friend and I would occasionally climb together out of the saddle to get some relief, but it wasn’t much. plus climbing the long stretches was a PITA with the singles who drafted us for miles, then racing past us on the climbs. Of course they couldn’t catch our draft on the downhills because they could never sprint fast enough to catch on the back.

And riding with my wife on the tandem, we were never matchy-matchy (or she would have divorced me) but she did take great pleasure in pinching my bottom if she didn’t think we were going fast enough.

We were always comfortable enough and always had fun . . . except for the last 4 miles up to Cayuse Pass, where she was in tears a bit. My Garmin said 105° at the bottom of the climb.

She puts out about half my watts, and weighs only 10 lbs. less. She has really small lungs but a great heart. She loves the tandem. She gets to do stuff she could never do on her own. I was 69 and she was 66 when we rode RR. If I could have ridden it on my single this year, I would have been #4. Maybe next year!

Oh, c'mon! Tandems aren't marriage murderers, they are relationship accelerators. Wherever it's going, a tandem will get you there faster. Why waste time? What's going to happen is going to happen. Life is short and it's a pity to waste time with the wrong person.

That said, there are some individuals who have control issues and they know in advance that a tandem won't work for them. They need more control in the relationship and that's agreeable to their partner. My wife knows I'm a vastly better bike handler than she. We have an agreement. Indoors, she's in control. Outdoors, I'm in control. That's worked for 50 years. Get after it, kids!

Here's something I've noticed from some of the replies in this thread. There seems to be a perception (from some, not universal) that "serious biking attire" means team race kits--matching shorts and jerseys with team name and/or sponsors' graphics. I have never been fond of these, and my wife certainly doesn't expect me to wear them to show her I'm taking our rides seriously. I like simple, functional bike clothing: quality bib shorts with good padding, a.k.a. chamois; and colorful, snug fitting jerseys, cut for road biking position, with pockets in the back. When I dress like this, I get no complaints. It's just the cargo shorts and cotton T-shirts or casual button-down shirts that she tends to oppose. I will only pick those when our intended distance is less than 15 miles or so. I just found it interesting that some people read "bike specific attire" to mean race kits. Someone commented on the pic of me posted above that I don't look really bike-y in it. (No offense taken.) I thought I was wearing some of my most high-performance stuff that day, just nothing very flashy. I guess we all have our own opinions of what constitutes serious attire.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...f5344a2a35.jpg
You mean like this? On our first mountain pass ride. We were so effing beautiful.

This is only true to an extent. You don't have to wear the latest fashions, style your hair according to popular fads, or own products from trendy high-end brands. Those who judge you unfavorably for not embracing these things are probably not the kind of characters you want to impress anyway. However...

My family had a discussion at the dinner table recently that went into the need to meet certain societal norms. My wife referred back to a book with lots of good advice that she read years ago. The author, a PhD in child psychology/counseling, recalled a child who did not want to attend school, claiming she got constantly bullied there. Investigation revealed the reasons for the mean treatment she received: she did not brush her hair, she picked her nose in public, and she had never learned how to interact with peers. The takeaway was that, while bullying is never okay, parents can help their children tremendously by teaching them how to present themselves in a dignified manner. Trendy clothes are not necessary, but clean ones are. Latest hairdo doesn't matter. Some kind of hairdo does. Kids on the autism spectrum might never learn appropriate social interaction, but others can, IF their families teach them how.

To say we should not care what others think of us is like saying we don't want to live in a civil society where hygiene, grooming, and behavior standards exist. We absolutely should care; we just should not obsess over the petty or superficial aspects of image.

You truly were. And there's nothing wrong with being all matchy. But it's not necessary, even for avid riders.

I have some team/club kits with names and graphics on them, along with the matching bibs. I also have some plain cycling clothing. Some of them are from the same manufacturer that produced the team/club kit. Some of the plain stuff I have is nicer and more expensive than the team/club kits. I am equally serious about riding, regardless of whether or not I'm wearing a team/club kit.

It's a great thing to be able to have those conversations over dinner. Congrats. FWIW my wife is a behaviorist who studied at UCLA with one of the foremost Autism experts of his time. So, I know of what you speak . I don't suggest that we should deny any and all societal norms or behaviors that might hurt others. I didn't see the OPs comments in that context. I saw it in the context of cycling and the issue as presented. And I should add the individual judgements of others.

It isn't just about image, although that can be part of it. When I dress in casual clothes, I'm telling my wife and anyone else who might notice that I don't intend to perform at a high level. Maybe some guys can wear loose, unsupportive, unpadded, and chafe-inducing clothes and still ride really well. I can only put out modest performance in this attire. I would suggest that if you're an avid cyclist (one who cares about riding well, not just puttering around at low speed and short distances) and you don't wear performance-oriented clothes, you are missing out. If you stubbornly make a point about not wearing anything but casual clothes when you ride, perhaps that is YOUR obsessive image projection. "Look how well I eschew the flashy kit! I'm not shallow or judgemental! You can tell by my ordinary clothes."

Do you draw the line at riding shirtless, or are you okay with that, placing yourself in the same camp as forum member LarrySellerz? He got rejected/reprimanded at group rides for it. (He also complained that group members disliked his noisy drivetrain.) I'm not trying to call anyone out, just asking where you place the threshold for acceptable biking attire in 21st century "first world" societies.

When I broke my ankle pretty badly 10 years ago, it undermined my confidence in a way that I have probably never recovered from. Your wife has been through FAR worse. It probably helps her self-confidence to look the part, and have you ride with her looking the part. If she rides at 9 or 10 mph, and is fully kitted out, just indulge her and do the same. Let her set the pace, have your Garmin display stuff like time of day and air temperature, and enjoy the ride.

I build up a titanium GRX Di2 "all-road" bike for my wife. The bike is FAR better than her capabilities (or mine, for that matter). She has degenerative arthritis in her hips and knees (enough to qualify for a handicapped parking permit, and will eventually require joint replacements), and it has completely turned things around for her. We just got back from a series of rides in Montana and Oregon. I am pretty sure our average speeds were around 9 or 10 mph (slower on the steep gravel ones).

The irony is delicious.

Let her have her fun. She likes the idea of being a cyclist, and wants to look the part. Hopefully the guy that blows your doors off riding home on a cruiser after working the night shift doesn't run into you more than once or twice a month.

Broctoon,

Your wife sounds like she is high maintenance. If my gal said something like that to me, I'd be trading her in for a new model.

classy.

Yeah, I'm not much for team kit, either, unless I'm on the team, and I'm not on any teams. Your description of cycling kit matches mine. But I don't have any inherent objection to someone wearing a team jersey. I mean, around here you see people wearing Giants, and 49ers, and Warriors paraphernalia, so why no a cycling team you like? Not for me, though.

This assumes their families know how. Given the large genetic component, you're likely to have parents who grew up as the kid who didn't fit in teaching kids who don't fit in how to fit in.

Ask me how I know....