Ball-Busting Wives
 

Anyone have a wife or significant other who busts your balls no matter how long you ride or what time you ride?

Occasionally I get back a few minutes later than I say I will, and I PAY!!!!

I have given up long rides ( for me , > 3 hours ) and have limited myself to 2 hrs or less. Despite this, I get grief.

This can be in the form of dirty look, sarcastic comment, or outright guilt.

I try to make it a practice to ride only when we don't have family activities planned, or if it interferes with kids extra-curricular activities, my wife's work or my work. I have totally given up going on group rides because of this, and fly solo.

Nevertheless, unless I am gone <1 hr, I am made to feel like I've abandoned the family or killed the dog or something.

Maybe I'll take up running

I'd take up a marriage counselor. We should all have time for ourselves.

You can't be out of sight for more than an hour? Wow, sorry.

I am sorry to hear that man. You need to sort this out with the wife. You can not abandon something that you love so much just so that she can keep on feeling good all the time. If she loves you, she should be supportive of you spending time on your hobbies. And its not like you're gambling or gulping down a six pack with your friends. Get this sorted out before things get out of hands and you start getting depressed. Marriage counsellor is a good advice, but I would first confront the ball busting creature and see if she understands my pain. Goodluck and let's hope you will be back to doing your long rides regularly.

First you have to grow a pair for her to be able to bust them. So far it just sounds like she's kicking you in the mangina. Man up!

How about some facts...how many times per week are you going on these 2-3 hour rides?

First of all your wife can't MAKE you feel guilt. Feeling guilt is something you have to do on your own. Granted she might be a HUGE P.I.A, I don't know, just don't blame her for THAT part.

What Pax said.

What the *** is her problem? You need to find out.

If it is that she doesn't ever get away, then just make sure she gets equal time away too so that she can't resent you for your ride.

If she's insecure or you guys are co-dependent, those are larger issues that you should get help with. No sense being miserable.

Sounds to me like you married a control freak. Let me guess, life is great, but only as long as everything is going her way. See a marriage counselor. I'd just about bet cycling isn't the only thing you do that she has a problem with. If she won't go, go by yourself.

Exactly right. If she gets stuck ferrying the kids around all the time, that may be the source of the problem. My wife only gets upset (teasingly) because I end up getting to ride more than she does. I try not to rub it in! But it might not take much for her to feel like she's getting her own time, or you get your own time of dealing with the rest of the family.

Get a tandem

Sounds to me like there might be a problem as to who's the pilot and who's the stoker.

Show some sack.

Thank God I am not married. Thats all I have to say.

get a new wife

Just say, I need a hobby. Hmmm, bikes or blonds... What do you think honey?

As long as you are not shirking your duties at home then she has a real problem. There is no reason couples need to be together every minute of every day. I actually can't stand the kind of couple that can't be apart.

1. Get her interested and have her go with you.
   
2. See a marriage counselor.
   
3. If the above don't work then you need to make a choice between her and you riding.

I would like to emphasize aspects of a couple of earlier messages.

What do you give up in other areas? Not just what is expected, but above and beyond...

What do you do to make sure that some of your time off the bike is for her benefit? Or do you sulk and make it obvious that you are feeling deprived?

I would suggest that for every hour you spend on the bike you spend 30 minutes blatantly serving HER (not family, not eating dinner, but serving her, for just her sake)... and sex doesn't count. :D

How you spend your time off the bike can greatly influence your wife's attitude toward your riding time more than how many hours you ride.

I'm 18, and this thread makes me never want to get married.

If it were only that simple my son. Hormones and lack of good judgement will catch up with you eventually. :D

You need to talk to your wife, not make whiny posts on the internet.

This issue runs way deeper than you riding your bike, in fact it may have very little to do with the rides at all.

Go get counseling and quit acting like your marital problems are all due to your wife being a *****.

Yes, run far far away.

But seriously, there is nothing wrong with cycling a few hours a week. It is healthy and as long as you aren't leaving her high and dry with the kids on a regular basis you are doing nothing wrong.

Marriage is not about sacrificing your life or your loves. If it is, there is something wrong with your marriage. She is basically training you to not have a life. Don't fall for it. Stand your ground. You are right.

Doesn't your wife have any interests outside the home?

The future looks bleak:| I think I'll post in Foo about this.

Grow a pair. Tell her you'll be back from your ride when you're ready to come back and not before.