So, someone posted a pic of some VC Bear Trap pedals and I thought they looked like something I would like and bought a pair. In the first week's time, I've drawn serious blood 3 times. Twice around the ankles and one up on the thigh. How long is it going to take me to learn to stay clear of these things?!

It might be easier to change your screen name to "Bear".

It may be easier to change the intention https://www.beartrapdunes.com/index.php

And confirm that they don't look like this
https://www.amazon.com/16-Grizzly-Bea.../dp/B00021UX6I

Nope. Not like that one, but pretty similar

Soccer shin guards maybe. How'd you get bitten way up on the thigh?

Are you banging your legs into them while walking the bike?

Picking the bike up to put it on the bike rack. It was just a glancing blow, but you'd think the things were razor blades!

Yep. The ones down on the ankles. You find out quickly how much you tend to touch the pedals when walking the bike or putting it on or off the bike rack.

Some guys actually sharpen those little points. I've also seen some pedals that had little grip pegs that could be replaced when they wore down.

Well, they certainly grip well. I previously rode with toe clips and straps and I like these better. Once I learn to stay away from them when off the bike I'll really like them.