Hipcycler

OK.
Here's how this guy has gotten into my head.

As I prepared for my ride today, I was humming one of the old NFL films songs in my head. I strapped on my best-looking winter gear to battle the icy north wind and grey skies that blew in overnight. From 85 Wednesday to 50 today!

But this is now hunting season....I was preparing to hunt down my arch rival "The Knave" and bury him. One bootie to keep the left (non-unclipping foot) warm and irritate him, which seeing me wearing more good gear would do to him. Extra Bloks for the little needed punch on the road. I was ready.

I had the wind at my back on the 13 miles out, searching but no trace of him out there.

When I turned around I was slapped with that cold wind. My legs were dead. I knew if I saw him now it would be trouble. I knew I did not have my "A" game today. Heck, who am I kidding? I had NO game today whatsoever.

Luckily I never saw him at...not even going in the opposite direction today.

There will be other, better days of the hunt....starting with my next ride on Monday. Not unlike the deer hunters, I will be there in my track stand instead of a tree stand....my weapon locked and loaded, only instead of a rifle that weapon is my legs....And instead of deer hunting clothes...I'll be in my finest kits...I mean come on, blaze orange? Gimme a break!

eandmwilson

This can only end in tears.

Or a restraining order...

chipcom 

I am getting a visual of Hip here...riding along mumbling to himself...
"ha ha ha ha, I'm gowna get dat wabbit if it's da wast thing I do!"

clfjmpr44

I sure hope you find him and beat him. Better yet, beat him in a race, then at the next stop, hand him a transcript from all three of your threads without saying anything, and ride away....
A

TheDTrain

I'm starting to think no Knave actually exists and this have just been an elaborate shenanigan pulled by a lonely lonely man.

sunninho

Don't forget your camera to document the "Knave" sighting properly

substructure

I think the latter. This fixation borders on maniacal.

But it’s good reading.

bhh

That is terrific. You should SOOO do that.

55/Rad

Ahhh NFL Films - the frozen tundra, John Fascenda and the battle weary music. Toyota recently brought back the very best of the music made famous by NFL Films and put it in an ad.

Brought back 1970 all over again.

55/Rad

Sprocket Man

I'm enjoying this saga. Reminds me of "Moby Dick" - readapted for the road.

Hipcycler

Yup....it was the "Drunken Sailor" song...

I'm starting to think no Knave actually exists and this have just been an elaborate shenanigan pulled by a lonely lonely man.
No there is proof....a guy I ride with and who reads my training blog saw him one day while we were riding...said The Knave looked exactly as I described.

Don't forget your camera to document the "Knave" sighting properly
Indeed. I had the camera in my jersey pocket today as a matter of fact....I'm ready!

Paul L.

White whale! white whale! white whale!

Whatever you do don't let this guy bite your leg off if you get close, it is really hard to clip in with a wooden stub leg I understand.

Besides, once you got a wooden stub leg you would not be able to ever appear as a poseur again no matter how much discovery kit you wore.

Bibi

sprocketman +1
i look forward to monday's chapter ...

superdex

I have my popcorn! This is getting good!

Cromulent

Please... like Hip wouldn't have a titanium fake leg wrapped in pink and slate carbon fiber.

You'll get him, Hip. You'll get him.

The Knave

I was busy joining this forum, I'm not used to using a computer.

No game today huh?...you never do, have or will ever get 'game'. Maybe with a rifle.
Never on a cycle.

I'd like to say I'm looking foreward to our next race, but it's always the same boring crush.

The 'knave'.

Sprocket Man

Hipcycler

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Knave

I've reading for a while.
I know you now, but you don't know me.
I like that.

Hipcycler

You don't scare me Knave....where were you today? Too cold for your tender old tootsies out there?

While you were taking it easy in your easy chair I was out there riding in the cold wind like a real man!

The Knave

Like I said, not used to a computer. I RIDE all day while you sit and type.

I was snuggly warm in an internet cafe, sipping a latte and setting up an email account -so I could join this ship of fools.

I may not be your 'knave' -maybe someone elses.
I may be the embodyment of ALL the knaves of the cycling world.
We will bring the fancyboys of the cycling world to thier knees gasping for breath.

bikecrate

Luke (hipcycler)...the Knave is your father....!!!! You're lucky he hasn't cut your hand off with a lightsaber!!

Patriot

Hip's headed for a permanent vacation. He'll be staying in a nice padded room for a long time.

I can see this ending up as some played out tragic story, only reminiscent of Shakespeare. Broadway will create the greatest onstage performance in 50 years, once they get ahold of this tale. You watch, it'll happen.

At the end, a writhing man befallen to his enemies, sobbing in mental defeat. His archrival in a waving gray cape and white shoes riding a heavy armored percheron, rides off stage carrying the mangled remains of a Klein.

This, only to leave the man lying in the mud, destitute with no recourse, his only remaining path to honor, is to commit suicide by multi-tool and a poisonous Clif bar....

Such a sad ending. I can see the awards, and sellout crowds now.

jeff williams

Haha..that's pretty funny!
The hunter becomes the haunted.

It's probably a B.F member messin' with you Hip....but then, maybe not.
If you use a search engine and querry about bicycles, you eventually find B.F.

-now I have the Eagles: Hotel California lyric "..and you can never leave!" in my head.

Scary place, that world wide web, all kinds of nasty things out there.
Brrrrrr! I just felt a cold draft.

Paul L.

Then they'll turn it into a musical and call it West Side Story II, there will be two gangs, the Poseurs and the Knaves. The star (Hip) will fall for this awesome cycling babe, and it will all end in tears.

It will feature great songs like:
Italian bikes in America
Gee, Bike officer Krupke
I feel Poseurly
The Criterium
A Poseur like that.
One Hand, One Leg. (Taking bit of drama from the previous Moby Dick posts)
Something's coming (flipping fast!)
(Or it could be "Someones drafting", the vision is fading now)

Of course the cast would have to be drawn from our very own bikeforums in the true spirit of Bernstein and folk using real street guys for the original musical.

Perhaps the lead Actress could be Koffee Brown, her full bikeforums name has three syllables just like the name Maria.....

Koffee Brown, I just met a girl named Koffee Brown..... Hmmmmmm. of course, if she got the part she would then have to sing the song "I feel poseurly" so perhaps that would create a problem if she is not a poseur.