So, intially replaced my original threaded valve rear tube with a smooth one because my stupid pump got stuck on the threads, and I broke the valve trying to get it off. Two days later, the valve separates from the tube at the base of the smooth valve. I took it back to the LBS, they put a threaded tube in. Not long after, the pump gets stuck on the valve and it breaks as I try to remove it once again. Went to a different LBS that I have never been too today, they put in a smooth tube. I check the pressure before I ride, by the time I get home and put the bike in the garage, the tire is completely flat. I try to pump it up, the seal broke again at the base of the tube.
First, anyone have any suggestions on a pump that wont break me, and two, is my rear wheel haunted or something? Am I the only person in the world that can't pump a tire?

It sounds like you are doing something wrong. Try asking someone in your local shop to show you how to install a tube and pump it up.

+1

What floor pump are you using?

An El Chepo bought from Dicks Sporting Goods. How hard should it be to get the pump to release from the valve if its threaded? It always seems like a wrestling match with the pump I have.

Does the pump head have a locking lever on it? Are you releasing it? Is it set for a presta valve?

also might want to check for any burrs on the inside of the rim where the valve goes.

I don't understand how you guys manage to destroy tubes at the valves, I've never been able to do it

What about the valve hole in your rim, could it be sharp?

Yes to all of the above

You may be having a problem with technique, but it's also possible that the little ring that keeps the rubber seal in the pump head is too tight. This compresses the rubber seal too much and it makes it too tight on the valve stem. Try loosening it a bit. Are you buying excessively delicate latex tubes or something? If so, you should maybe try just ordinary, much cheaper butyl tubes.

Sounds like you spent good money on a bike, but skimped out on the supporting hardware.

Buy a Topeak Joe Blow Pro floor pump. I have one and its one of the best one that I have ever used.

https://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=4360

If your valve is separating from the tube, this is the first thing I would check. Make sure the rim tape is fully covering the valve hole and there are no sharp edges.

And threaded valves suck. I always go with the smooth Michelin ones, but Specialized and many other companies make tubes with smooth valves.

I prefer the smooth valve stems, too. I had trouble with my Park Tools floor pump holding on to the valve stem during pumping, which was disconcerting. Now I just rough it up with a piece of course sandpaper and the pump grips it nicely. Flip up the retaining lever, and it always pops right off. I agree, threaded valves suck.