Try this:

"Why, you boobyhead! You cut that out, you!"

Get's 'em every time.

Not mine, but someone on this forum posted a few years ago that someone shouted at him to "Get on the sidewalk!" to which he replied, "The side what?" "The sidewalk!" "Side...?" "WALK!" and he rode away laughing that the driver still didn't get it.

I had a car full of teen girls pull up next to me and say "I like your shorts." "They look gay!" I said "Thank you" and blew them a kiss, but in my mind I was saying "You think I'm gay just because I wouldn't date your fat lard @$$".


Although I do not respond negatively to cagers, I make kissy sounds to dogs that bark at me. A lot of times, they stop and cock their head.

Lady who rear-ended me at stop sign: "OH, I'm SO SORRY!"

Me, from under the front of her pickup: "Uhm... me too. Would you please get your truck off of me."

I got the thumbs up from some college girls the other week. It was sweet. I was assuming they were impressed with my machismo by being able to cycle 27-mph on a flat.
---> I thought this thread could use a positive post
------> and I just started cycling a few months ago so holding 27 is good for me.

Full disclosure: I've been cycling since college in the early '70s, at least 2000 miles a year, some years 4000. I've ridden in six or eight states (lived in three, visited others), on roads from freeway shoulders to dirt singletrack, and I can count on some of the fingers of my left hand the times I've been yelled at. Really, no more than four or five, and harmless stuff like, "Go, Lance" or "nice legs." Once, two years ago, somebody tossed an empty Coke can at me. Drivers have occasionally not seen me, but that happens when I'm driving, too. I've never been brushed back deliberately, never been threatened, never been confronted (no, wait: Once a soccer mom yelled "**** You" when I told her to hang up and drive).
I ride with guys who go on the same routes I do, and they say stuff like that happens to them all the time. I can't help thinking they're doing something I'm not--cutting in and out of traffic, riding three abreast, blocking the road, running signs and lights. if you're consistently having trouble with cars, the first place to look is at how you ride.

^ I think you're onto something.

I am just trying to ride my bike the way I want the other bikers to ride it while I am driving my car.
:rolleyes::):)
I am just trying to drive my car the way I want the other drivers to drive it while I am riding my bike.

Face it - there are enough idiots behind the wheel and on the bikes. I can see sometimes bicyclists doing things that gives me a shivers. But of course I can observe a lot of more idiocy coming from a drivers, but that simply because there are more cars out there than a bikes.

I've never had a "pleasure" to encounter face to face contact with the angry drivers yet so I am not sure what I've would behave like. Just ignore it I guess, and in worse case scenario just call 911. I always have a fully charged phone with me and a Jawbone BT headset. So, far, I can only see proper behaviour from the drivers in my neighbourhood. But people say that closer you get to downtown Toronto the worsted it gets.

Once upon a time, we were in the local Taco Bueno. A lady walks in, orders, then while standing there, proceeds to talk to people that aren't there, and ignores me when I speak to her. After a while, she looks at my teenage son and says "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like God?" After a bit, she got her food, went and got in her car, and drove off. The moral being that there are people driving around out there that are actually nuts, in the clinical sense.

"thanks"

While I tend to agree it's counterproductive and potentially dangerous to say anything provoking, I have had a couple occasions in my younger and less wise years where I felt it necessary to respond to idiot drivers. Granted I wouldn't do this today, but you have to understand I was in my 20's and invincible back then. I was at an age and time in my life where I didn't really consider the consequences of my actions. So I just said what I wanted because I always had to have the last word.

On one occasion when I rolled up to a stop light next to a guy who tried to buzz me I said something to the effect of "You should learn to control your temper. Think about that tonight when you are at home beating your wife". On another similar occasion I told a driver "Nice car. Did you know that 4 out of 5 pedophiles prefer this very same model?" On other occasions when people would just yell things at me I'd simply give them a look and posture as if I am in a position of authority over them, and make the gesture where you put your index finger in front of your mouth and say "shhhhhh" as if you're trying to shush a three year old child who is having a temper tantrum. Oh that one gets them mad.

Luckily for me I never got run over or shot at. In hindsight, while it was extremely satisfying at the time to see them drive away pissed off that they just got oWned, I'm grateful that it never escalated any further and result in a physical confrontation. Nowadays I don't really ride near traffic that often (more into mountain biking lately) so I haven't had any run-ins in quite some time. But if I did I probably wouldn't say anything... and just do like others have suggested... either just flat out ignore them or point to my ears and shrug my shoulders as if I didn't hear them.

There is one other comeback that I have used but not while riding. I was driving my car and was once cut off into the shoulder and nearly put into the wall by a driver on the highway who wouldn't let me merge in from an on ramp. He deliberately refused to speed up or slow down to allow me space to merge in either in front or behind him. As I was merging I tried to adjust my speed to get behind him. He looked right at me and deliberately slowed down to match my speed. So at first I thought he was letting me in front of him... so I sped up to merge in. He then sped up to stay right next to me. It was definitely a deliberate act on his part. Eventually I ran out of room and he literally jerked over slightly into the shoulder and tried to run me into a wall. There was no reason for this other than this guy didn't like my car or he just caught his wife blowing the mail man or something.

Now I am not the road rage type. That is a deadly proposition I don't want to get involved in. But I just couldn't let this one go. I had to do something. I decided to get revenge in an anonymous and non-confrontational sort of way. So I finally managed to catch up to him and took down his license plate. I then called a close friend of mine who was a cop and asked him to run his plates and give me his name and home address. Over the next couple weeks I started going to magazine racks and grabbing the subscription cards from god knows how many different magazines, ranging from Sports illustrated to Time to Better Homes and Gardens to some of the most vile and disgusting porn you could ever imagine. If there was a card inside, I grabbed it. If I had to guess, I'd say there were at least 30 or 40. I filled out the subscription cards with his name and address and checked the "Bill me later" box. Now if you've ever in your life had to endure the frustration of the epic and monumental task of trying to cancel a magazine subscription, you would understand the magnitude of what I must have put this ******* through. To put this in perspective let's just put it this way... If you've ever seen the Lord of the Rings you would remember what Froto Baggins went through on his journey to Mordor. Attempting to cancel a single magazine subscription makes that look like a walk in the park. Now imagine trying to cancel 30 or 40. This happened about ten years ago. I'll bet that d00sh-bag is still getting junk mail and telemarketing phone calls up the a$$ to this very day.

Now while I don't condone committing mail fraud my any means, I gotta say I never in my life felt as sassified with a comeback or vengeful act as I did when I pulled that one off. Would I ever do it again? Probably not.

I'll try reasoning or joking with dogs long before I try with teenagers. The latter are just too stupid to bother with

This one really gets 'em:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/17/22...d2f3675863.jpg

I think it's most fun being the creeper that just stares at people inside, but you can't always catch them when they're stopped. In real life I'm not a verbal person, I tend to just ignore them even though I have a terrible urge to yell at them.

Nice driving, Danica.

Seems like you got pwned

lol too true.

one night i took my mountain bike to the store on a midnight run for munchies and pulled a wheelie into the parking lot. This lady get out of her car after parking it to get gas and walks up to me and tells me how a wheelie is a devils trick and i shouldn't do evil things. Confused thinking she was joking i told her that that i do wheelies all the time and even take the bike off of jumps. Like a deer in head lights she stares at me then storms away mortified citing something from the bible and "save me Jesus from this evil person". she didn't even get gas and i forgot to buy milk for the morning when i went inside i was so dumb founded.

you just made that up!

I once threw my bike at a truck who was threatening to run me over.

There's also this:

http://www.notquitewrong.com/rosscot...2008-12-18.gif

Yep, next time any of us feel the need to say to someone "hey whacko, did you forget to take your meds today?", remember this...they just might have.

Never really had to yell back at a driver, except to get their attention before they hit me.

I did however have another roadie pull up next to me at a stoplight and make some snide remarks. This was at a time I was wearing sunglasses that go over your glasses since I couldn't afford contacts or prescriptions sunglasses.

Him: You know if you get prescription sunglasses or contacts, you'll look a lot better on the bike.

Me: Dude, you're riding around on a bike with skinny tires in a spandex outfit that 95% of the world think looks gay and you're worried about how cool my glasses are?

Him: Glares at me, then clips in and blows the light, almost getting hit in the process.

Smile and Wave. They all hate that

I don't have any. My mouth runs strictly on 4 letter words.
I do occasionally enjoy riding no handed flipping the bird with both hands.

i bet he reads bf