What I have learned on Bike Forums.....
 

Here are a few of the things I have learned since I joined this forum. Please feel free to add some of the things you have learned on this forum....


I am to fat for this sport.

BikeDirect bikes are Sacrilege.

BikesDirect bikes are good deals if you don't care about brand names and can wrench.

The CAAD9 is the ultimate bike, which is why most who own one own at least one other bike....

You need neither the nut nor cap on presta stems once they are installed.

The PlanetBike Superflash is "the" rear light of choice.

Dork discs are unnecessary if your bike is properly tuned.

Wrapping your fingers around the outside of your tire and using your thumbs to dislodge the pump head is the best way to remove the head after pumping your tires.

Sheldon Brown was awesome may he rest in peace, thankfully his website is still up and I still send n00bs there for information...http://www.sheldonbrown.com/

“It doesn't get easier; you just go faster” - Greg Lemond

A good ride is one you can walk away from, a great ride is one where you can still use the bike afterwards.

cycling is like the girlfriend you once had, who you knew was no good for you, yet you couldn't get her out of your mind, always treated you like crap, but made up for it once in a blue moon with the ride of your life, leaving you sore in places you're embarrassed to tell your friends about.



Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:

"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.

"It's not that far"
Translation: Bring your passport.

too much to list...thanks all

You really should give credit for the "phrasebook" part that you stole.

LOL .. "No Drop" always makes me laugh.

Yeah ... looks familiar

I clearly stated I got this from this forum. I'm not sure who posted it, so I can't give proper credit. It certainly wasn't posted as my own...

BF is not the place to "learn" anything :P

You're faster, the climb steeper, and you didn't suffer.

It is easy to lie on the internet.

pcad lives in his own alternate universe:)

:lol::roflmao2::thumb:

Love it.

Maybe I'm just having one of those days, but I'm really having trouble getting past this one.

Are you sure you are talking about tires??

Really?

That Razor is the most indecisive human being on the face of this planet.

He's very decisive. He just makes decisions a lot :lol:

hahaha. great stuff.

Nice post.
:thumb:

You forgot:
"The older I am, the better I was"

Using that truth, I'm planning to have ridden in the TDF. I'm just not sure how long ago I did.

"If you need to piss, you're not riding hard enough. If you need to sh1t, you're riding too hard."

Indeed.
The list isn't complete w/o mentioning Pcad or Botto.

Great post! I needed some humor on this cold wet day (still got a short 20mi ride in though)

my one issue:

Kestrel is not a "no name" brand and the bikesdirect deals on kestrels are some of the best out there.

Uh, oh; Another oversight: Not one mention of chain lube.

Chain lube threads are so 2007.

If you're on your mountain bike wearing everyday clothes you must/will pass one cat 1/pro racer in lycra on a hill that doesn't make you even breathe hard. Or at least that's what you'll tell us.

Anyone who you pass and doesn't wave or drafts you without permission is an *******. Or not.

Helmets are essential. Or not.

:roflmao2:

Some say #2 describes me well, and I suppose the fact no one believes me when I say "this is going to be an easy ride" might confirm that....naaaahhhh

Yep, but for some reason a lot of people think I have a bikesdirect bike. :(