Time to man-up.
It sounds like you have typical Old Man syndrome ... you vag is drooping low ... suck it up! :thumb:

I should order a TV from Amazon and then shoot myself with the rifle they ship me.

This may be the physical fallout of too many man-ups.

That is what my premenopausal spouse says ... careful here ...

You wouldn't be the same riding in a flannel shirt, jeans, and a long beard.

TGP is even more pointless than this place. If that's even possible.

maybe try one of these: http://www.nexride.com/.

they take it back if it doesn't work for you. the inventor, Karl Ulrich of the Wharton School, is an occasional poster here

This should be criminal.

http://www.unifiedsport.com/

Problem solved.

If that doesn't fix it you should consider the part donations. As a young, hopeful, and optimistic cyclist I'm a great candidate.

make sure the instructor is really hot. and qualified. i guess that is important. but also hot.

Take this opportunity to refine your 'standing out of the saddle' technique.

Though I've suggested 'bents before in jest, you might actually give a few a try. I started riding them not because I was particularly interested in them, but rather that I thought that riding more kinds of bikes would probably be good for me all around. In my experience, the logic works.

In any case, there are enough kinds of them that you might find one that appeals to you. The one in this pic is 21 lbs honest weight with pedals. It's not a great climbing bike, but even on extended climbs, I drop plenty of people. For shorter climbs, I can leg press with my back against the CF seat which allows me to put out way more force than I could on a road bike. It's fast against wind and on rollers. For all the ribbing that goes on, I find people are really cool about my rig. All you need to do is not ride like a total idiot.

Bents have an insanely wide range of seated positions ranging from upright to flat on your back. Even mine have quite a bit of latitude so you can adjust them so the weight doesn't aggravate the pelvic floor syndrome.

They actually do race 'bents but it's a different scene that you may or may not like. But if you get the right machine, you'll be able to keep working those muscle sets so that when you can get back on a road bike, you won't have to spend years getting your fitness back.

I run 650s on mine and have the full range of aero and power options. Mine as well as some others can take 700s as well so you can use your existing wheels and PT. I prefer the handling with the 650s.

You really might want to give it a try. There's a decent chance you could lose practically no fitness if you play this right, but if you have to hang back for two months it will decimate your performance.

http://photos.alptown.com/images/Ore...inish.Kyle.jpg

I think I've suggested recumbents a time or two also, not at all in jest, although I was sure he would take it that way if he even noticed the suggestions at all ;)

My 11th bike will be a nice USS 'bent.

Resistance is futile.

I offered him a Bent Rider Online jersey I received gratis some years back (club fit of course). Somehow the message must not have gotten to him because he didn't respond.

Hey pcad! The offer is still good -- I haven't worn it. In all honesty, I'm not even sure where it is but I could probably find it.

I will do a jacknife off the GWB before I ride one of those fred sleds.

Where would one's nutsack go if one were to slip off?
Perhaps one stood for a sprint/climb and missed whilst settling... I've done it before.

Real sorry to hear that PCAD! If I were you, I would try a bent. a fake bike is better than no bike....but how do you get going without falling over? My 5th grade teacher had a bent, I went over and tried it before my cycling days, but I couldn't gain my balance. might be the slightly off angle she was holding the bike at, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine learning on my own. Best of luck, and F*CK THE HATERZ. including yourself.

Amen and well put, LowCel. Get better soon Pcad.

Or shell out for a NoCom. Very low, long, carbon, aero, and very fast. One rider on the One Helluva Ride here in Michigan is on one most years, and he looks like a snake passing road bikes at about 30.

Pcad I dunno what you've been doing for a saddle, but a different one might help.

Get some hiking poles for a better workout.

Qualified will do the trick. The other students may well be hot. Try Iyengar.