ftimw

I am male, but you wouldn't know it by looking at my freshly shorn legs. I have to know:

1. When does the profuse bleeding stop?
2. How long do I have to wait for it to grow back?
3. It looks like my shower drain is growing a 'fro. How do I jam that thing down the pipe?
4. How much faster (due to my new slip-streaminess) can I expect to go with the same effort as before? 6? 7?...12 MPH?
5. What do I tell my girlfriend, and should I exchange leg hair styling tips with her?
6. Can I call myself a 'roadie' now? Please?

Thanks in advance, your answers are appreciated.

oops, one more:
7. Will my 'Suffer Score' automatically go higher?

jsharr

1. Never
2. 9 1/2 Weeks
3. Burn it out
4. None.
5. Tell her you switched teams
6. No
7. It would have until you posted this thread.

Banershka

You're a guy with shaved legs?

chris675D

Just use hair clippers, its easier and less painful. Plus you're less likely to get an ingrown hair.
Can you call yourself a roadie?..hmmmm well the shaved legs are good but do you have a mirror on your helmet?

Beaker

1. When you learn to shave with a lighter touch
2. Shrug
3. Consider not stuffing it down the drain and digging it out of your drain with a suitable implement. You don't want to have to explain this situation to the burly plumber you'd undoubtedly have to call to unblock your drain.
4. None - but you will now feel unrelenting pressure to outperform your hairy brethren. Welcome to a life of pain and self-loathing.
5. How about "I shaved my legs"?
6. OK
7. See 4.

David Broon 

1. About as long as it will take to put a new blade in, and get some shaving cream. Also, Shave in the shower, right near the end. Loosens up your pores.
2. The more the wonder, the longer it will take.
3. Afro Pick.
4. About how much faster you think it will make you go, divided by two.
5. Wait till the pants are off next, and see if she notices.
6. If you have to ask...
7. Strava officially asks people to report segments where people may make poor choices such as descending riskily, or shaving their legs, and does not condone either practice, and as such, no difference will be noticed.

spectastic

if you shave the legs, you might as well shave the thighs too... you might even go all the way up to the belly button, stopping by Mordor along the way....


man the more I think about it... with the tower, and that thing at the top of the tower... anyway.

Nick Bain

arethese people for serious?

Kai Winters

When you learn how to shave correctly...first shave is always the worst.
Depends on how fast your hair grows and when you think you should shave again. I go several weeks between shaving though I've been doing it for 30 plus years.
You let all that hair go down the drain? Sheesh...should have scooped it up and tossed in the trash.
No faster...what a stupid question.
Dumb question...girl friend needs a better "boy"friend.
You're not a roadie and I suspect, because of these questions, you will never be...just ride...sheesh...sigh...

antmeeks

Reveal the Goddess In You.

99Klein 

I remember my first time:-)

kenji666

Real roadies go Brazilian.

Bob Dopolina 

It's not about going faster, it's about healing faster.

Gluteus

Why stop there? Go for a full body waxing, manicure, pedicure, and a new bra.

WTF?

mprelaw

Take the dork disc off the bike, hone the edge, and use that next time, so you don't look like you narrowly escaped from Hannibal Lechter.

banerjek

Exactly.

Asking these questions has resulted in revocation of your man card.

David Broon 

Says the guy on a recumbent. Srsly, Leg-shaving is part of the accepted ritual for competitive cycling, and OP Is joining in. Nothing wrong with that.

banerjek

Real hombres ride anything they like -- only a girlyman needs to worry about what others think

Bah Humbug

Just go to a wax place. So much easier.

CrankAndYank

Depends. Did you shave dry, or did you wuss out and use some sort of shave cream?

ftimw

Thanks for helping out with my lame attempt at humor. The fact is that I have just been putting it off for a while and then finally bit the bullet. The grippers on my shorts were really bothering me and I really did look like a hobbit or ape or something. Told my girlfriend I was going to do it a month ago, don't really care what she thinks. But she's ok. I only nicked myself on my left outside ankle. The razor will be electric next time. I was outting myself as a fred with #4. I don't mind what others refer to me as, but I do ride on the road. Just wanted to introduce myself on this side of BF. Thanks again.

RJM

You are totally going to be faster now.

ricohman

He will save 2.8 seconds every 40km.
Of course he will lose time avoiding onlookers while wearing shorts off the bike.
Its all about those 2.8 seconds though!

clifftaylor

If you do road racing, you will crash. The first time you try to remove a sticking plaster from a hairy leg, you will understand why racers shave their legs.

nhluhr

1. You only bleed if you're uncoordinated.
2. After 2 days you'll have significant stubble.
3. You should have used clippers outside on the forest first, then mowed the grass with the razor. You don't use a lawnmower to raze a wooded lot do you?
4. 0.05mph
5. You don't have leg hair to style, remember?
6. It depends. Are you fast?
7. It sounds like it already did, if you're bleeding.