Ummmm..... Anal-****?? :rolleyes: :D

Thank you ted, that was the joke

how come nobody has brought up U-LOCK JUSTICE yet?

This theory was disproven, shot down, and dragged out to pasture by visitordesign. We're still waiting on a counter-argument as solid as his, and my instinct says we'll be waiting awhile.

I realize that capt obvious..... :p

I just wanted to write it ;)

Thanks for feedback and support. I'm not digging the sexist/racist goings on. I feel the end does not justify the means. In any case i didn't hate the woman (or any other women) just what this particular woman did at that particular time.

I'm sure that for most of the day she is reasonable and generous, that this event was due to carelessness rather than malice. I think her attitude stank, but that was an immature ego defence in the face of my shocking news that she'd nearly crippled/killed/made strawberry jam out of me.

Don't get into racial/gender realted stuff. The most precious item in our arsenal is being right. When we start all that sh*t we're dead wrong.

Or D-lock through the windscreen.

Two stories:

Once, as a pedestrian crossing the street legally in a crosswalk in downtown SF, I almost got nailed by a silver Mercedes that was running a red light. As I jumped out of the way I hit the backside of the car with my hand. It was just a reflex. I wasn't trying to be a badass, but I guess my hand was pissed. Then this small guy (5'4"? 130lbs?) in a suit pulls the car over, in traffic, so he could jump out and threaten to kick my ass. It was really funny, since I'm 6'4" and 225lbs. He gets right in my face (er, chest) and starts to scream at the top of his lungs about how if I ever touch his car again he was going to KILL me... with spittle dripping down his chin. He was furious. I didn't even get a word in. I just stood there. I thought he was going to try and punch me, but when he was done screaming, he just called me a mother ****er, told me to watch out, got back in his car and drove off. Nice guy.

A couple months ago I got doored by some lady in a mustang with a huge door and I couldn't avoid it -- it happened too fast, in a narrow street, with a car passing too close at my left elbow -- and she panicked and started yelling at me that it was my fault since I was "speeding" (yeah right). I rather nicely told her not to worry, that I was ok (thanks lady for asking, ha!), and that if she just bought me a new front wheel (obviously necessary) then I'd forget about the rest and not call the police, but that if she refused, I'd have to call the police to come out and do a report. At the moment I thought that the rest of my bike seemed ok except some scratches and scuffs on the seat. By the way, I was totally bleeding on my arm, legs, etc. She calmed down and said ok, ordered the wheel for me at a bike shop and end of story. (But then I realized later my alu bars needed replacing and my headset was ovalized... but that just gave me an excuse to upgrade to a new Chris King).

Slow day at work today.

To recap: her total indifference to his humanity made him want to insult her humanity in the most effective manner possible.

I can dig it.

Some months ago a woman and her friends, in a PEARL Cadillac Escalade, got within inches of my rear wheel in a traffic circle and HONKED.
Actually, it sounded as if she put both feet on the steering wheel and stood on it.

I turned my head back towards her and shouted "BACK OFF!".

In response to which she rolled down her window and let out a string of obscenities.

Clearly, she did not know that only a few decades ago, society effectively incarcerated me in the Marine Corps for nine years in order to make best use of my natural inclinations in situations like this.

Funny how complex memories can flash through one's mind in an instant.

Picture a young man in a military uniform getting off a plane from Southeast Asia, and a young female political protestor spitting "Baby Killer" in his face.

And, imagine this young man saying, "I don't know about any babies, but yesterday I did kill a girl your age."

Anyway, back to the future, I could have stopped my bike and kicked in her front grill.
She would have gotten out of her car and, after listening to her shout more obscenities for a minute or so, I would have snapped her neck.
Yes, it would have meant a life as a fugitive, but a small price to pay for the emotional satisfaction of watching her eyes grow dull.

Hey!

C'mon.

I saved her life.

I stepped between her and a pathological murderer.

Which makes me the hero of the story.

I like that ending of the story much better than the other ending of the story.

A less psychopathic story.

I'm very much used to getting beeped and abused by cars and their keepers. I had a nightmare ride home. I was piling through gridlock all the way down Cleveland St in Sydney (v busy, v bad attitude). I'm squeezing through a gap between a car and a 4x4 with Roo-bars (cos of all the livestock in Sydney). At that moment the 4x4 dude moves forward and cleans me out.

He was very apologetic, a few stratches and that was all. Shook me up though and changed my forgiving disposition for the rest of the ride.

So I'm seconds from my house. I hear beep, beep from behind. I turn around and scream 'F**K OFF, YOU F**KING F**K'. Then I realise it was my friend from work. Her beep-beep was a beep-beep of 'Hey mate, how's it going, fancy a beer?' NOT a 'Get off the road, you're a menace and make me realise I can't drive for sh*t' beep-beep.

No neck snapping necessary. Humble-pie, double portion please.

I've done that.

How embarrassing.

So, jetbike thinks snapping her neck wouldn't have made him feel better about acting like an idiot? :)

ummm.. wow

There'd be no witnesses to my stupidity. There's definately an upside to your appoach Ken.

They make this product called Halt!, you can order it from nashbar. It's supposedly for dogs, has a 10 foot ranger, stores in a waterbottle cage, and leaves none of the
traces of "ulock justice"

Edit: I'm not at all serious here btw. I cannot advocate acts of aggression no matter how good they make me feel. I just thought the phrase "ulock justice" may not make it clear enough that this is a joke.

As a young man, while driving, the lady in the car behind me honked.

I flipped her off.

I mean, I really flipped her off.

Anyway, she followed me home, or so I thought.

It turned out I knew her and, on her way to visit my mom she saw me and honked "hello."

As we both pulled into my mom's driveway, got out of our respective cars and walked into my mom's house, neither of us mentioned the "flipping off" event.

After that she never treated me in any manner other than warmly and graciously, which only made it worse.

I shoulda snapped her neck.

ken relax

mods take note of his posts to be used in future criminal trials

heh. I had a similar thing happen to me with a receptionist that I used to see pretty often a while back when I was couriering. How embarrassment.

Ah... is there any problem for which this is not the perfect solution?

The more one thinks about it, the more absurd it gets, eh?

Violence seems to make so much sense in the heat of the moment, but not when one later considers punching out one of his mom's tea buddies.

As for the lady in the original post, who kept asking "did I hit you?", my mom never drank tea with her, so do what you want to her.

Personally, I don't have any peace as long as I think of violence as a possible solution to a problem.

For a few moments, violence sometimes makes sense and seems not only justified but desireable.

Then, well, I see where my true happiness lies.

As Bill and Ted might have said if they had fixed gear bikes, "ride on, dudes."

Did this actually happen to you? If so, approximately what date and precisely which airport?

I'm not doubting you, it's just that there is a great deal of controversy in some circles as to whether these spitting-on-the-troops-as-they-got-off-the-plane stories ever happened. Some of the stories have definitively been debunked, as they were purported to have occurred at airports where no troops ever disembarked on flights from SE Asia. If your story is true, there might be some people who would be interested to hear it in as much detail as possible (e.g., was the protester by herself or part of a group, if the latter which group, was it part of a demonstration that might have been recorded in newspapers, etc.).

If, on the other hand, your story was part of some metafictional rhetorical device that went sailing over my head, never mind.

yeeeeeeaaahaww!

Exactly. By throwing race into it, you're just making the world a little bit uglier in a way that goes beyond the immediate confrontation. I don't care how angry you are; if you're halfway articulate you should be able to tell a person off without sounding like a racist ****tard.

you could try calling them ****tard for example

Now, that's irony! Well bowled, lad.

just flip the car over next time.

heheh. I'm a bit of a softie, pinko peacenik at heart so I wasn't really being serious with that comment, as I'm sure you probably guessed.

I've just been re-reading some things here and thinking of ways to further enrage drivers behind me who are honking and being imbeciles for no apparent reason. I've already found the "turn around and smile and wave" move to really send them over the edge.

I also think turning around and putting a finger up to one's mouth and doing a long "shhhhhhhhh" move with a smile would cause them to bang their head on the steering wheel. Anyone want to experiment with this and get back to us?