Dear longtime friends of Portland. For many years I have served you, and hopefully served you well as "Portland's Favorite Beer." Today, I stand before you not to beg for re-election, but to simply remind you of why I think you chose me as your favorite beer in the first place. You and I, we have much in common. Our homes are in smoky, dark taverns, motorcycle repair shops, and on the banks of the Sandy River. But perhaps our most common denominator is that people look at us and ask, "Why?" "Why are we so underemployed?" "Why are we so lacking in substance?" And, "Why can't we be more like everyone else?" The simple answer is that you and I are cut from a different cloth. Sure, we may both work for "corporate masters." But there is something inside each of us that will always be different from the pack with you, it's an overwhelming enjoyment of loud, unseemly music and wrecking bicycles. With me, it's that delicious secret ingredient that makes me go down like water, but taste like heaven.

You and I go together because frankly, no one else will have us. And that's why I would like to continue to serve you as "Portland's Favorite Beer." Like conjoined twins attached at the liver, we can't exist apart. Thank you, and God bless Portland.

P.S. Dennis Hopper chose me in the movie Blue Velvet.