I saw this on Craigslist today and totally laughed my *** off.

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I'm selling a complete fixed gear. It is totally ready to ride and will probably kill you.

I pushed it into a bike shop recently to have the rear wheel trued. At the bottom of my receipt it read, 'My advice, get a new bike.' So, I am. And maybe you are too! He was reserved enough not to use the words 'death' or 'trap,' but I'm not!

The frame is probably an old Raleigh that could have been worth something. It's rattlecanned and chipping rapidly. The paint is almost completely gone where my car's bike rack grips. There are, however, parts of the bike that are still entirely painted.

Looking a little deeper, the headset is completely f/*/c/k/*/d. Unless you can ride a unicycle, you can't ride this bike with no hands. I'm expecting something terrible to happen in the headset in the next few rides that will pitch me onto the pavement. For the right price, this could be you!

Also, the pedals were never supposed to house toe cages. So, the cages are kind of ruined and inoperable. Sometimes when I'm skidding, my front foot will almost slip out and I'll get all wobbly before righting myself. During these moments, my eyes are usually plate-wide with terror. This could be your terror!

There are still front and rear brakes installed, because it was always kind of a half-a**ed conversion. These could definitely be removed, though. The bike shop guy even tightened up the rear brakes for me. You could be the only fixie rider in SF with fully functional rear brakes.

But the brake cables are also completely shot, so I wouldn't count on it.

The handlebar tape is falling off and one of the plugs is missing.

Also, I don't remember what kind of cranks are on it but the pedals are super long. Every now and then when you're riding they slam off the ground and get more ruined. Again, there's some aspect of terror here.

The gear ratio is 52/20. The rear tire is flat and the Presta valve is broken off.

This bike is what my brother affectionately refers to as a 'time bomb.' Why? Because there's no track hub or cog. Actually, there's a freewheel with loctite in it. So far, I've been able to learn how to ride fixed on this setup without it falling apart. But someday it will. And when it does, someone is going to get ****ing screwed.

I paid $80 for it 8 months ago in Buffalo. Considering we're in San Francisco, the asking price is $350. I think that's only fair.

I got a better one. I recently sold a fixed gear bike on ebay and one of the bidders, stated he would only bid on my bike if it was able to do bar spins. This was his main factor for buying a fixed gear.

id buy it for 400.

...and the bidding war begins...

I wish we had some photos of this beast.

yeah .. i would have tried t get some, but the email was already disabled.

i think this is the funniest cl add i've ever read.

"this could be your terror!"

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! so awesome.

That was hilarious.

highlight of my day
thank you

Maybe its just too damn cool for pictures! We have a few of those locally in the DFW area, like this guy;
https://dallas.craigslist.org/bik/632839388.html
This d-bag wants $850 for that thing!

Awsem.

That's actually an extremely nice bike. I think it's probably worth the asking price, or at least close to it.